Fever
by Raderle
Summary: After a long month in which cracks have developed in the relationship between Marty and Callen, Marty becomes seriously ill. Will he make it and will the team be able to mend their relationship with him or will he quit and return to the LAPD?
1. Chapter 1: Anger and Alienation

Fever

Here's a new story concentrating on Marty Deeks. It's mostly angst with some hurt/comfort. I don't have a beta (is anyone interested?) so any and all errors are mine. I try to research medical issues for my stories but I don't have a medical background so please attribute any errors to creative license and just go with the flow of the story. This takes place sometime after the episode "Borderline".

The stars haven't aligned for me so I don't own NCIS Los Angeles or the characters. My minions and I just bring them out play with. I'll give them back in the same basic condition they were in when I brought them out to play…honest!

Reviews are welcome.

Enjoy

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It had been a hell of a month for the NCIS team. They had caught case after case with little time between to recharge. They had been working seven days a week spending long days and some nights working to solve the cases. Every time they solved one, they caught another before they could even finish their after-action reports. Every team at the Mission had been just as busy with case work but Hetty's premier team always got the hardest ones.

The last case they had been assigned involved an officer and several enlisted men who had set up a drug distribution ring using the ships they served on to get the drugs into the country. They then sold them to a local gang letting the gang take the risks involved in distributing the drugs to their various dealers. It limited their exposure while ensuring a steady supply of the drugs to buyers on the streets and netting them a nice profit. It took Nell and Eric days to identify and track all the players. While they were doing that, the team was watching the officer and enlisted men to see who they talked to and find out when they would be making the exchange of the drugs for their money. After days of drudgery, the wonder twins and the team obtained the information needed and planned the takedown during the exchange between the Navy personnel and the gang. Nell and Eric hadn't been able to find out exactly how many members of the gang would be involved in receiving the drugs and it worried them. They hated not being able to provide Callen, Sam, Deeks and Kensi complete information. It wasn't until two days before the raid that they found out the transfer would take place in an abandoned warehouse. Nell and Eric worked hard to find and access as many surveillance cameras as possible to give the team as much intel as they could. As the team got into position, Marty looked around and quipped "Why do these things always go down in abandoned warehouses? Don't these people have any imagination?"

Sam groaned and retorted "Guess not, Scruffy. Maybe you should suggest it to the next set of bad guys we encounter."

Callen broke in "Deeks, you and Kensi take the back. Sam and I will go in the front. Be careful in there, I'm sure there are lots of hiding places and we don't have reliable intel on how many gang members will be inside."

Everything had gone smoothly until near the very end. Kensi and Deeks had cleared the back of the warehouse, subduing several members of the gang as well as the naval officer while Callen and Sam had been clearing the front of the warehouse. Through coms, everyone was staying in touch and so far, all three enlisted men and six gang members had been arrested. They were making their way to meet up with Callen and Sam at the front of the warehouse when Deeks heard a noise and got Kensi's attention. She indicated she would go left while Deeks nodded and went right. As Deeks was clearing the right hand row of containers, he caught a glimpse of a figure moving stealthily ahead of him. Moving swiftly to intercept him, he realized the man was stalking Callen and would have him in his sights in seconds. Before he could warn Callen over coms, he realized the man he was following had a gun already aimed at the back of Callen's head. Callen had just taken someone down and was in the midst of zip tying him so had no clue anyone was behind him. Deeks yelled "Callen, watch out!" and tackled the man, shoving his arm away ruining his aim just as he pulled the trigger. Callen looked up in time to see the tackle Deeks made and then heard the gunshot. He was afraid that Deeks had been hit.

"Deeks, are you okay?" he called out.

"I'm fine. Just some scrapes from hitting the ground," came the reply.

As soon as Callen heard that Deeks was okay, he lost his temper. "What the hell were you thinking? You were reckless and could have gotten yourself killed with that stupid stunt!"

Deeks stared at Callen with barely concealed anger. "What are you talking about? I saved your ass, took out the bad guy and you're saying I was reckless? Should I have let him shoot you?"

"I would have been all right. I've got my vest on. If the bullet had hit you, it would have gone right through your vest! You were reckless, once again." Callen retorted.

"What the hell do you mean I was reckless 'once again'? He was aiming for your head. The vest wouldn't have saved you, it doesn't cover your head!" Marty was frustrated and angry. He gave Callen a glare then stalked toward the door of the warehouse to get away from his team leader. Callen called out "Where are you going? I want to discuss what just happened here."

Deeks snarled "Whatever; we can discuss your opinion of me later!" and continued out of the warehouse. He had to get away from Callen because he couldn't believe what he had just said to him and it set his anger off. He was afraid of what he might say if he stayed around Callen. He was tired of constantly having to prove himself to him and the others. The case had taken a toll on everyone, but especially Marty.

Once back at the Mission, Callen continued to berate Deeks which was the last straw for the younger man. He turned around and blew up at Callen "I have everyones back here and I do my job and do it well but all you do is get in my face telling me how everything I do is wrong. I'm just as good as anyone here and I'm tired of all the constant putdowns!" he yelled before suddenly turning away running his hands through his hair and stalking into the gym to take out his aggression on the heavy bag. He hadn't been feeling well for days and Callen's displeasure just made everything worse. "Deeks, come back here, we're not done talking yet" Callen yelled.

"Yes we are" Deeks snarled without turning around.

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Sam grabbed Callen's arm as he began to follow Deeks. "You're out of line G, he saved your ass. If he hadn't intervened you would be dead! Do you understand that, dead."

"I had it under control Sam"

"No you didn't. You didn't see the guy with the gun pointed at your head. If Deeks hadn't tackled the guy and caused the shot to go wild, he would have hit you in the head, so cut him some slack and let him calm down before you try to talk to him again. I can't believe you just said that to him. I know he's annoying but you just called his competence into question and sent him out of here in a tearing rage. I've never seen him act like that before, not even with Scarli."

Kensi had seen the whole exchange and didn't know whether to go after her partner or not. She knew he was angry, but she didn't know what to do or say to calm him down. He had been right in Callen's face and she was surprised at that. He usually let everything just roll off his back. To her later regret, she decided to let him work out his anger alone, so she sat down at her desk and got started on her paperwork instead of following him to the gym.

The month had exhausted and frustrated everyone and it was causing cracks to develop in the well-oiled team they normally were. Hetty had been concerned about them before, but after hearing the confrontation between Callen and Mr. Deeks, she knew the team needed to decompress. Everyone was dragging and their concentration was shot, so she decided to send them home early since it was a Friday to rest up over the weekend. OPS finally had some breathing room between cases, so she told them they could finish their after action reports and begin on the other unfinished paperwork on Monday. It didn't take long for Kensi and Sam to leave and head for home. Hetty noticed Callen still sitting at his desk deep in thought when she came back from the gym after telling Mr. Deeks he could leave for the weekend. Callen was thinking over everything that had happened on the case. After going over it numerous times in his head, he was finally able to see Sam's point and realized how unfair he had been to Deeks. He went into the gym to talk to him but couldn't find him. He then checked the armory but he wasn't there either. Coming back into the bullpen, he asked Hetty if she had seen Deeks and she informed him that Mr. Deeks had already left for the weekend. Callen was disappointed but thought that it might be a good idea to wait until Monday before bringing the subject back up. He knew Deeks was angry, and Callen regretted that he was the one that had caused his anger. They were both tired and it would be better for everyone if they were rested before talking over the op. Getting into another shouting match wouldn't help either one of them or the team, so he left to go home as well.

Hetty watched him go, hoping that the rift that had formed between her liaison and team leader could be mended quickly before it affected the other members of the team.

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	2. Chapter 2: Getting Sicker

I still don't own NCIS Los Angeles. If I did, there would be more personal interactions between all the character, not just cases.

One reviewer made a comment about Callen and Deeks being OOC in this story and the reviewer is right, but this is the way the story came to me, so just realize that all of the characters in this one may be so. Reviews are always welcome.

Enjoy.

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After taking some of his anger out on the heavy bag, Marty was dragging. He was still angry, but too tired to work out any more so as soon as Hetty had told him she was sending everyone home early, he left OSP, went home, dragged himself into bed and didn't wake up until the next morning. Saturday was a beautiful summer day, but Marty wasn't able to enjoy it because he was sick. He thought to himself _"Can this month get any worse! I have another damned sinus infection!"_ He tried surfing but he just didn't have the energy necessary to enjoy himself. He sat on his board beyond the breaks and watched the other surfers for a while but then paddled back onto shore and went home. He hadn't had an infection in quite a while and had forgotten how lousy they made him feel. He knew what he had to do for one so spent the weekend taking care of himself because he didn't want to miss any work. He loaded himself up with hot soups and juices to soothe his throat and clear some of the congestion. He hoped he would feel better by Monday because if he didn't or heaven forbid, he actually had to miss work, it would give Callen another reason to hell at him and he was getting extremely tired of being Callen's whipping boy. _"What a shitty weekend! Can things get any worse? Callen doesn't think I'm good enough for his precious team. Maybe I should just quit being the damn liaison and go back to what I do best, undercover work at LAPD."_ He had been working his ass off to try to get them to see he was an asset to the team; he always had their backs; he came up with good plans and suggestions, but it didn't look like it mattered and he was getting tired of hitting his head against the 'proverbial wall'. Nothing he did ever seemed to be good enough for the legendary G. Callen.

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By Monday, Marty hadn't been feeling well for about a week but hadn't really taken notice of how bad he felt until the Saturday before with all the cases the team had been working on. Since he knew it was a sinus infection, he was treating his symptoms as usual, thinking he could work through them. He'd done it before so he could do it again. It usually took about 10 days for one of his infections to clear up, so he wasn't too worried even though he was still sick that morning and didn't feel any better than he had the week before. He knew he could do paperwork so he went into work at his usual time. As he walked into the bullpen, Callen was the only one there and wondered where Sam and Kensi were. _"Great" he thought. "Just what I needed this morning. Callen looks like he wants to talk to me. Probably another diatribe from the almighty team leader. 'Goody' as Hetty would say." _

Callen tried to bring up the op from the previous week but Deeks was having none of it. "Deeks, I want to discuss what happened last week." he began as Deeks approached the bullpen.

"Well I don't. Its over and done with. Let's just forget it. You think I was clearly the one at fault and we all know the legendary G. Callen is always right, so lets just leave it at that." Deeks said, sitting down and beginning his after-action report.

"That's not what I meant. I was worried last week when I saw you tackle that guy . I want to go over everything that happened during the op to see how we could have handled things better." Callen tried again.

Marty didn't want to hear anything Callen had to say and said so. "Look Callen, I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it okay! You made it abundantly clear on Friday that you think I screwed up because I'm just 'a cop' while you three are badass federal agents. I really don't want to get into this with you again. Once was enough! You think I'm the screw-up so let's say it was all my fault, as usual and just leave it!" Marty was shouting by the time he was finished and then he again disappeared from the bullpen. Callen looked around and noticed some disappointed looks from Nell, Eric and Hetty, but didn't connect the dots with what had just happened. As Deeks was stalking away, he was so frustrated he whispered to himself "Maybe I will just call it quits and go back to the LAPD." Callen didn't hear the whispered words, but Hetty did. Unbeknownst to the two men, Hetty had overhead the entire conversation, both the one today and the one on Friday. She had hoped on Friday that Mr. Callen could resolve the situation but it looked like he had just made it worse. If he couldn't convince Mr. Deeks that he was a valued member of the team and soon, she was prepared to step in and knock some heads together and one of those heads wouldn't be Mr. Deeks. She wasn't about to let her liaison officer go back to the LAPD. He was her agent, or as close as he could be without signing the paperwork she had ready for him, and she wasn't about to lose him. He was needed on this team whether the others realized it or not. Besides, he wouldn't last long back at LAPD working undercover with the lack of backup he usually had without something happening to him. He was lucky he hadn't been killed already since he always got the trickiest assignments there since he was the best.

"_Well that went over like a lead balloon. Who would have known Deeks could hold a grudge this long. I guess I'll have to wait for a while and then try again…maybe away from work." _Callen thought as he let Deeks walk away. He then started on his own pile of paperwork, not realizing how much he would regret his words and actions in the days to come_._

_~,~,~_

An hour later, Deeks walked back to his desk, sat down and began plowing through his paperwork. He had hoped the work-out would make him feel better, but it hadn't and he was feeling even worse than before. He had made the mistake of mentioning it in front of Kensi as she passed him on his way back from the gym and she had teased him and told him to quit whining "you big baby". Then he had heard Callen and Sam talking about the previous case and heard just enough to come to the wrong conclusion about what he overheard. He had reached his desk and given them both a look but they had just glanced at each other and smirked. He continued to work through the mountain of paperwork on his desk, thankful they hadn't caught another case. He had twice as much paperwork as anyone else on the team because he not only had to do his NCIS paperwork, but also had to complete and submit the various forms of LAPD paperwork for every case he worked at NCIS as the liaison; another fact the team was unaware of. Whenever they saw the pile of paperwork on his desk, they teased him about it not realizing sometimes how it sounded to him. It was just another thing that made him feel like he was unwanted and unneeded. The more he thought about it the angrier he became.

As the day progressed, he continued feeling worse and realized his throat was sore as well, but kept his mouth shut. He wasn't feeling well enough to take any more teasing from Kensi, or anyone else on the team for that matter. He could usually just let their comments roll off his back and give as good as he got, but feeling as lousy as he did, he didn't have the extra energy to do so today. After the previous month and Callen's comments, which he had taken in the worst possible way, he was feeling insecure about himself and unsure of his place on the team. He was concentrating so hard on completing his paperwork he didn't notice Kensi repeatedly giving him quick glances as the day went on. She was worried about the way he sounded and how quiet he was. He normally talked a 'mile a minute' about anything and everything, throwing out quips, jokes and smart-ass remarks, but today he was completely silent, only speaking when asked a direct question. She would never admit it, but he really lightened the atmosphere in the bullpen with his chatter. A quiet Deeks unnerved her. _"Did I upset him earlier when I called him a big baby? My comments don't usually seem to bother him, but he's been quiet ever since he and Callen got into last week and he's been absolutely silent today since I teased him. Callen was out of line last week, but I didn't call him on it. I wonder if Deeks thinks I agreed with Callen? I should have been a little more sensitive since he really is sick. Why do I always give him such a hard time? He's really starting to sound horrible."_ She watched and listened to him for a while longer and then made an excuse to talk to Hetty about her concerns. "Hetty, I think you need to send Deeks home. He sounds terrible and he's been silent all afternoon. I think he's getting really sick."

Hetty gave Kensi a look that puzzled her and then glanced at Marty. She could tell from her desk he didn't feel well. "All right Miss Blye. Would you ask him to come see me please?"

Kensi returned to her desk. Nudging Deeks gently with her shoulder, she said "Hetty wants to see you."

"What…am I in trouble...did I do something?" He croaked. This was all he needed. He felt like crap, he was on the outs with Callen and now he was in trouble with his boss, the tiny terror. _"Swell, just swell"_ he thought.

"What did you do now Deeks?" Sam mad a crack at his expense.

"Deeks, I'm sure you're not in trouble. Just go see her." Kensi tried to be sympathetic and hoped he realized it.

"Yeah, right" he replied as he slowly got up and proceeded to Hetty's office. He dreaded what was coming next. He just couldn't seem to catch a break lately.

As soon as Deeks left the bullpen, Kensi glared at Sam "You just had to give him a hard time didn't you? Why can't you give him a break?"

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	3. Chapter 3: Seeing the Doctor

I don't own anything except my imagination. All known characters are the property of NCIS Los Angeles. I'm just playing with them. Here is chapter 3 for your enjoyment. This chapter is shorter but I broke it at the most natural place.

Reviews are welcome.

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"You wanted to see me Hetty? Did I do something? Am I in trouble?" Deeks asked as soon as he reached Hetty's desk.

"No Mr. Deeks, you're not in trouble. I noticed you're sick. Just how bad are you feeling?" she replied.

"What…I'm fine…I mean I'm...I'm good. No problem" he stuttered. He didn't want Hetty to think he couldn't do his job. This day was just getting better and better.

"Don't lie to me Mr. Deeks, I can tell you're not feeling well. You can barely speak. Take the rest of the day off. I want you to see Doctor Lee at this address and then go home and take it easy. I don't want you back here until you're feeling better."

"But Hetty" he pleaded. "I'm not that sick. I can do my job. It's just paperwork." He was afraid if Hetty sent him home it would just give the others on the team more ammunition to say he couldn't cut is as part of NCIS.

"I know you can do your job Mr. Deeks. You're a valuable asset to this team. I know you're doubting yourself right now and your place on the team, but your work is exemplary. I want all of my agents to be at their best if we get a case and you're not at your best if you're sick. Go…see the doctor and then go home. I can make it an order if I have to."

"No…seriously…umm…that's not necessary. I'll see the doctor and let you know what he says. Hetty, you do know I'm not one of your agents, I'm just the lowly liaison officer." He had been surprised she considered him one of her agents.

"Oh Mr. Deeks, you're much more than that. I don't want to lose you."

"Okay Hetty, I'll call you in the morning if I'm not coming in." Marty gathered his things and walked slowly out of the mission without looking at the team or saying anything to them. Sam and Callen looked at Kensi as he left. Callen asked "What's with Deeks? Where's he going?"

"What do either one of you care?" Kensi still wasn't over the crack Sam had made. "Deeks is sick. Hetty sent him home" came her reply.

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Marty had never liked seeing doctors. Doctors reminded him of when he would end up in the emergency room as a child. They would say they were there to help him, but he was always sent home to his father where he would end up hurt again. He was contemplating not going to the doctor and just going home, but Hetty had ordered him to go and he knew if he didn't she'd find out about it. And if he was truthful with himself, it made him feel good that she worried about him. He didn't want to let her down and he certainly didn't want to be in trouble with the tiny operations manager. She was the only one who seemed concerned about him and he found himself hoping that she always would. When he arrived at the doctor's office he discovered Hetty had already called and made an appointment for him. He didn't even have to wait; but instead was immediately ushered into an exam room. Dr. Lee had Marty give him his complete medical history. He answered all the questions he was asked and admitted that he usually got at least one sinus infection a year. The doctor listened to his heart, and lungs; checked his ears, nose and throat; and took his temperature before agreeing that it was indeed a sinus infection. "Mr Deeks, I want you to get this prescription filled. You're running a fever of 101. You're not to go back to work for three days. If you begin feeling worse, I want you to call me. Your sinus infection is quite severe."

"Yes, Dr. Lee" he replied.

He walked out of the doctor's office with a prescription for antibiotics and orders to go home and rest for three days before going back to work since he was running a fever. The doctor had told him to call if he felt any worse but he wasn't planning on doing that. He did get the prescription filled before he went home. Once he got hime, he took Monty out for a walk and let him do his business. When they got back to the apartment, he fed him and gave him fresh water before playing with him for a little while. As soon as he finished playing with Monty, he took the first dose of the antibiotic and fell across his bed. He was asleep before he could pull his shoes off. Even if he had been planning to call the doctor if he got any worse, he wouldn't have been able to do so because as the evening progressed, his fever began to climb dangerously high. He was unaware of it since he was so deeply asleep.

By morning his fever had reached 104 degrees and he was an extremely sick man. As his fever rose to dangerous heights, he became delirious and experienced dreams that incorporated memories from when he was a child. In every dream he had that night, he relived some of the worst memories as a small boy. The first dream incorporated the memory of the first time he could remember his father hitting him when he was very small. He had run toward him in excitement when he came through the door after work one day, but instead of getting a hug as expected, he was backhanded across the room and landed in a heap beside the couch. In his dream, instead of his father approaching him as he lay there it was a monster and he began moaning and thrashing around in the bed as he dreamed of trying to get away.

His dad appeared in all of his nightmares; each time causing Marty's heart rate to increase as he fought to escape the memories and the monster. In some of them he relived the terror of the times he would hide from his father like his mother told him to, only to hear the heartrending sounds her cries at the blows she would receive as his father took out his anger on her. Every time he wanted to protect her from his father's rage but could do nothing about it because he was so small. The man was a monster and in his fevered state he looked like a monster to Marty in every nightmare. In others he relived the times after his father would finally pass out from all the liquor he had consumed and Marty would crawl fearfully out of his hiding place to curl up beside his mother. She would be covered in blood from the beating she had received and all he could do was lay beside her and cry both in the dream and in the bed he was currently occupying. Many times in his dreams, he could only lie by her side covered in her blood and his own as his father, the monster, stood over the two of them with whatever he was using to beat them in his hands and a look of pure evil on his face. He relived the deep shame and anguish he had felt as a child hearing the man who should have loved and protected him, calling him 'worthless', 'unwanted', 'a no good brat', 'not worth feeding' or 'a momma's boy who needed toughening up' while blaming him for everything that went wrong in his father's life.

"No, don't come near me…stay away! Run…I have to run and hide." were some of the things he mumbled as he tried to run or fight or help his mother, but since he was remembering when he was only a little boy he couldn't get away no matter how hard he tried. The nightmares led to quiet cries and moans from him. If anyone had heard him they would have sworn he was a 4-year old child talking and crying.

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	4. Chapter 4: Checking on Deeks

Marty's not mine. Neither is Sam, Kensi, Callen or any of the other characters of NCIS LA. Bugger! as Hetty would say. Any errors are mine and mine alone since I don't have a beta.

Thanks to everyone who's sent a review. I read them all and I think I've answered all of those I could. I really appreciate your thoughts!

Reviews are always welcome.

Enjoy.

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Hetty arrived at the Mission at her usual time the next morning. She had spent the previous evening thinking about her liaison officer and how to keep him from quitting. She didn't want to lose him. He made the team much better than it had been before he arrived. He was the element that had been missing that made them the premier team in OSP. She had been watching him for quite a while before she had been able to procure him as her liaison. Dom had been a good technical agent, but he didn't have the undefinable something that Hetty had been looking for. She had been trying to arrange a transfer for Dom when he had been kidnapped. Dom's kidnapping had provided Hetty the opportunity she had been looking for to get Deeks on the team. After Dom's death, she had mourned his loss along with the team but also realized it made Deeks' addition to the team less problematic. She had been hoping to avoid an intervention between the team members over their treatment of Mr. Deeks, but maybe it was time to have a talk with them and enlighten them about a few facts about him they were unaware of.

She had received the report from Dr. Lee the previous evening detailing Marty's diagnosis; knew he wouldn't be at work for at least three days; so was expecting him to check in with her sometime that morning. She was at her desk working when she realized that it was after 10 am and she hadn't heard from him yet. It wasn't like him to fail to keep his word about calling her and she was somewhat worried. Understanding that he might still be asleep since he was sick, she waited for another half an hour sipping her tea and working before making her decision to talk to the team. She then walked into the bullpen. "Has anyone heard from Mr. Deeks this morning?" she asked them.

Kensi glanced up from her paperwork "I haven't. Is something wrong with him; is he sicker than I thought?"

"Mr. Deeks has a severe sinus infection. The doctor prescribed antibiotics for it and he is supposed to be home resting for the next three days. However, he promised to call me this morning and let me know how he's feeling. I haven't heard anything which isn't like him. It has me worried."

"You mean he really is sick? I thought he was just whining to get out of paperwork." Sam snickered. He had the good grace to look embarrassed when he saw Kensi's glare. She was upset with him because he was always on Deeks' case about being a cop and not an agent.

"How long has he been sick?" Callen asked.

"He told me yesterday that he's been sick for about a week but downplayed it saying he usually gets at least one sinus infection a year. He's been trying to take care of it by himself because he didn't want to let the team down." Hetty replied.

"He's been sick for a week? Why didn't he tell us?" Kensi was surprised and a little hurt that he hadn't confided in her.

Hetty was tired of the way they treated Marty and Kensi's comment made her decide it was the perfect time to say something. "Why didn't he tell you? How can you ask that? Could it be because you tease him when he says anything personal to you, Miss Blye? I distinctly recall you telling him to quit whining just yesterday and I believe I heard the words 'you big baby' come out of your mouth. That's not the first time you've said something like that either." Hetty's words made Kensi ashamed of her actions of the day before.

"Sam, you're always telling him he's 'just a cop' or calling him the 'temp'. You even got upset when he sat in Dom's place the first time he was here. You denigrate his skills, but I've never seen you offer to help him with any additional training. Just because you're a SEAL and he's a cop, doesn't make him any less talented and capable than you. He's actually better than you at undercover work and can come up with a viable alias in an instant. Can you?" Sam kept quiet but Hetty's words made him think about the way he treated Deeks.

"Callen, you were angry with him last week for saving your life. Instead of thanking him you called him 'reckless'. You made it worse yesterday when your words to him sent him out of the bullpen in a towering rage. You never tell him he's done a good job even when he has. Did you ever consider the way you treat him makes him feel like an outsider and not really part of this team? Do any of you realize that he has twice as much paperwork to do than you? He has to fill out all the same NCIS paperwork you do and then he has to fill out all the paperwork required by the LAPD for any case he works on here. And for your information, he is the only one to get his paperwork in to me on time on a regular basis.

Did any of you know he speaks three languages? that he has a genius-level IQ? or that he's been receiving additional training outside of work to improve his skill set to become more valuable to this team?

"Do any of you understand that he's thinking of quitting the liaison position and going back to the LAPD?"

Sam, Callen and Kensi were all shocked when they realized Hetty was telling the simple truth and they were more than shocked to hear about Deeks' IQ, his language skills and his training routine. They were always teasing him and throwing the fact he was 'just a cop' in his face. They thought it didn't bother him because he never called them on it. He would usually just let the comments roll off his back like water off a duck while smiling and making a smart-ass remark or a quip of some kind. He could give as good as he got but maybe that was just another one of his aliases he used to protect himself, Callen thought. Had they shown him they didn't trust him as a member of the team? Each one of them began to remember when they had given him a hard time or downplayed something he had said or done for the team. As they did, each felt guilt over their actions. Did he really feel like an outsider?

Callen was the first one to recover "Is he really thinking of quitting?" he asked.

"Yes, he is. You made it very clear to him on Friday and Monday how you feel about him."

"But that's not how I feel. I was worried about him. I didn't want him to get hurt." Callen protested. "I wanted to talk to him about the op to see what all of us could do better the next time. I wasn't going to yell at him again. I was going to thank him for saving my life."

"That may have been what you meant to do, but it's not what you said or how he took it, Mr. Callen."

"Do you want me to check on him?" Kensi offered. She had come to trust him the longer she worked with him but she still had trouble showing it. She felt it was time for her to get her act together and quit giving him such a hard time. "He is my partner after all."

"Please do Miss Blye. Call us and let us know how he is. If he needs your help, take the day off to take care of him. Mr. Callen, Mr Hanna I believe you both have a lot of paperwork to complete." Hetty returned to her office hoping she had given the three of them the kick in the butt they sorely needed to realize how they had been acting around Mr. Deeks and what an asset he was.

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Kensi grabbed her bag and left to go to Deeks'. Arriving at his apartment, she knocked on his door but got no answer. _"That's strange, he should be home." _ Looking around she saw his car in the parking lot which confirmed the fact he was there somewhere. She knew he wouldn't have gone surfing if he was sick. _"Why isn't he answering his door? Maybe he's sleeping." _She knocked again and heard Monty whining on the other side so she picked the lock. She knew if Deeks had left the apartment, he would have taken Monty with him since he wasn't working. As soon as she opened the door, Monty dashed out to relieve himself then immediately ran back to her side, whining and leading her straight to Deeks' bedroom door. She was becoming more concerned every second because she knew Deeks would never have ignored Monty unless he was extremely sick. He loved that dog. Monty was frantic, trying to get through the door into the bedroom. He was scratching at the door and then looking at Kensi and whining before scratching some more. Kensi opened the door and Monty immediately went and sat down next to the bed looking at his human then at Kensi and whining for her to do something. She was horrified at the sight in front of her. Deeks was tangled up in his sheets and covered in sweat. His cheeks were flaming red and he was thrashing around on the bed. He was mumbling incoherently voicing soft moans and cries. When she put her hand on his forehead she jerked it back with a gasp. His temperature had to be over 102 degrees, maybe even higher. She pulled out her phone, dialed 911 for an ambulance and then called Hetty to let her know she was taking Deeks to the hospital.

"What's wrong with him Miss Blye?" Hetty asked.

"He's burning up Hetty. I don't know how high his temperature is but he's incoherently mumbling and moaning. He looks really bad. When I got here, Monty was whining at the front door. I don't think he'd been outside since yesterday. And Deeks' antibiotics are on the table beside his bed, but it looks like he only took one pill so far. He's still dressed in the same clothes he had on yesterday. I think he came home and collapsed on the bed. I don't think he's been awake since."

"Oh bugger!" was all Hetty could say. "Stay with him. Find out where the ambulance is taking him and let me know. I'll meet you there." As soon as she hung up the phone, Hetty called Callen and Sam into OPS then told the entire team what Kensi had found at Deeks'. "Mr Deeks is incoherent and running an extremely high fever. Kensi has called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. I'll be going there as soon as I know which one he is being taken to." Turning to Nell, Hetty began issuing orders. "Nell, please make sure that Mr. Deeks' complete medical file is sent over to the hospital as soon as we know which one it is. Miss Blye will be calling us with that information. She's currently waiting for the ambulance to arrive."

"We're coming with you Hetty." Callen interjected. He was weighed down with remorse regarding his actions over the past several days and wanted to be able to do something for Deeks.

"No, you're not Mr. Callen. You and Mr. Hanna stay here and continue working on the after action reports and the other overdue paperwork."

"Buy why Hetty? We should be there. He's part of our team. Is this punishment for the way we treated him?"

"No Mr. Callen, I'm not punishing you. Right now there's nothing you can do at the hospital but you can continue to catch up on the paperwork here. I'll call you as soon as I know anything and let you know when to come to the hospital. I'm sure Mr. Deeks will need all of us before this is over. I have a feeling he will be getting sicker before he gets better."

"Okay Hetty," Callen sighed, "but we'll be there as soon as you want us there. Let us know anything you find out."

"Thank you Mr. Callen. It is appreciated and I'll keep you all informed." Hetty patted him arm as she turned and left OPS.

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	5. Chapter 5: Getting to the Hospital

You think I would know by now that not only do I NOT OWN NCIS Los Angeles, I never will, but hope springs eternal. My minions are sitting in their den, crossing all their little fingers and toes hoping that I will one day own NCIS Los Angeles. Thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed and/or reviewed. You've made my day! Here's the next chapter. We're just at the beginning f this ride people.

Reviews are always welcome.

Enjoy.

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While waiting for the ambulance, Kensi did everything she could think of to make Marty more comfortable. She removed his shoes and socks then wiped the sweat from his body as well as she could. She straightened the sheets that he was tangled up in and removed his hoodie so he was just in a t-shirt and jeans. She then went into his bathroom, got a washcloth, rinsed in it cool water; and returned to him placing it on his forehead, trying to give him some relief from the fever. It was hard keeping the washcloth in place with him thrashing around like he was. As she continued to try, she heard snippets of words and phrases she could recognize through his moans. He sounded like a very scared, very young child and the words she heard broke her heart. He was whimpering and crying "Daddy, don't…hurts…sorry Daddy, I'm sorry." As she continued trying to cool him off, more phrases were murmured…"Hide…I have to hide…mommy said hide so daddy can't find me" and "Mommy, wake up…mommy I'm scared." She realized with horror that he must have been abused as a child and wondered what kind of hell he had lived through as that child. He never spoke about his childhood. In fact, he had never revealed any personal details about his life except for the one time when he said his father hated him and tried to shoot him. At the time, she thought he was joking. Thinking back now though, she realized he never shared anything personal with anyone in OSP, instead using his humor to deflect any questions he didn't want to answer. _"God Deeks, just what kind of hellish childhood did you have? I wish you trusted me enough to have confided in me,"_ she thought. _"Then again, I haven't really shown you I could be trusted have I?"_ She had had such a wonderful childhood, at least until her father had been killed. But her dad was the kind of dad any child could wish for. She knew without a doubt that he loved and cherished her and he showed it to her every day in so many ways. Her dad always made her feel special and she knew he would protect her with his life. To find out that Deeks' dad had hurt him instead of protecting him made her wonder again how he could have grown into the gentle man with such a rapport with children he was. And she marveled that with his childhood he had grown into a man with such a sunny disposition and almost childlike appreciation for life.

Hearing the ambulance arrive downstairs, Kensi went to the front door and opened it to direct the attendants to his bedroom as soon as they got upstairs to the apartment. She had his antibiotics in her hand so they would know what kind they were and who had prescribed them. As they came through the front door she pointed and said "He's in the bedroom. He's burning up. I've been wiping his body down with a cool cloth to try and reduce the fever a little bit but he's in really bad shape."

"Do you know how high his temperature is?" Asked one paramedic as they pulled the gurney through into Marty's room.

"No, I haven't had a chance to find a thermometer. When I got here and saw how bad he was, all I could think to do was to call 911 and try to cool him down. He had a hoodie on that I removed as well as his shoes and socks. He was diagnosed with a severe sinus infection just yesterday and I found out this morning that he's been sick for at least a week. Here's his prescription from the doctor, but I think he only took one pill so far. The clothes he's in are the same ones he was wearing yesterday, so I don't know how long he's been like this." Kensi found herself thankful the ambulance had gotten there as fast as it had. Deeks looked like he was getting worse every minute and the wait for them to arrive had felt like forever to her.

The paramedics carefully transferred Marty from his bed and put him on the gurney, examining him as soon as they had him there. One said "His temp is 104 degrees and he's really dehydrated. I'm having trouble finding a vein." He continued trying to insert an IV and Kensi could hear him give a small sigh of relief when he was finally successful. "Fluids are on board. His heart rate is elevated. I've put him on O2 since his stats are low. I've also put some cold packs around his body to help with the fever. Let's get him to the hospital as fast as possible." As soon as the paramedic completed relaying the vitals to his partner, he and the other paramedic began securing him to the gurney using all available straps since they would have to move him down one flight of stairs.

"What hospital are you taking him to?" Kensi asked as she followed them out the door.

"The closest one is Pacific Beach Medical Center. We're going there. He needs to be in a hospital as soon as possible. Your friend is extremely sick and If his fever gets any higher it could cause brain damage." the paramedic told her as they carefully carried the gurney down the stairs and put it in the ambulance.

"I'll follow you there. His medical records will be there by the time you arrive."

Once the ambulance left, Kensi called Hetty. "Hetty he's being taken to Pacific Beach Medical Center because it's the closest hospital. The paramedics said he's really sick and if his temperature gets any higher, he could suffer brain damage. God Hetty, how did he get so sick so quickly?"

"I think Mr. Deeks was sicker than he himself realized. He did say he gets sinus infections somewhat regularly, so this time probably felt like every other time he's been sick. How high was his temperature?"

"It was 104 degrees. They also said he was extremely dehydrated. They started an IV on him just before they carried him downstairs but the paramedic had a hard time finding a good vein. They put cold packs around him to try and reduce the fever. I'm scared Hetty, really scared. He looked terrible." she was close to falling apart. "I...uh...told them his medical records would be there by the time they arrived."

"I'll make sure of it Miss Blye. I've called the doctor he saw yesterday and told him what we know so far. He'll be sending Mr. Deeks' medical records to the hospital."

"I'll be there as soon as I take care of Monty and lock up." She let Monty out again for a little exercise since he had been cooped up for over a day. Once he had expended a little energy, she fed and watered him, making sure to leave some of both food and water for later. She then locked up before jumping into her car and hightailing it to the hospital. She drove like a speed demon, even more recklessly than normal for her, darting in and out of lanes whenever there was an opening she was so desperate to get to the hospital. Seeing him with such a high fever had scared the crap out of her. And hearing what the paramedics said had her fearing for his life. She had finally learned to trust him to have her back. She didn't want anything to happen to him, especially before she could tell him the things she knew now she should have said a long time ago. She could't stand the thought of having to get a new partner if something happened to him. _"You hear me Deeks. You don't have my permission to die so keep fighting. You're stronger than you know. I don't want another partner, I want you."_ she thought over and over again on the way to the hospital.

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By the time the ambulance carrying Marty arrived at the hospital, his fever had climbed another half a degree and he'd had two convulsions. Luckily, each one only lasted a couple of minutes and the paramedic in back was able handle it on his own without having to get his partner to stop the ambulance and join him in the back. It was a dangerous complication though and the ambulance seemed to speed up even more to get to the hospital before anything else happened to their patient. The moment they pulled into the ambulance bay, they were surrounded with help as they wheeled him into an ER exam room and provided his vitals along with everything Kensi had told them about his condition to the doctor examining him. Marty was stripped down and covered with a cooling blanket to help control the fever as they took blood for analysis, and began trying to determine the cause of both the fever and the convulsions. The fever was too high to be caused by the sinus infection alone. After contacting the doctor he had seen the previous day and reviewing his medical records, the ER doctor sent him for a MRI to rule out meningitis since he had presented with the fever and convulsions, was well as a lumbar puncture to determine the exact type of bacteria causing the sinus infection so they could target the bug with a specific antibiotic. While awaiting the results of the MRI, the medical team continued to monitor his condition and try to get his fever down. They added a broad-spectrum antibiotic to his IV line which at the very least would begin to treat the infection. The cooling measures helped some, bringing his temperature down to 103.5 degrees which was still dangerously high but at least a start in the right direction. The ER doctor made sure Marty was as stable as possible and then left the ER to inform Hetty about the condition of her liaison.

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	6. Chapter 6: Feelings of Guilt

Still not my show. I keep hoping, but with my luck it will never happen.

My minions have told me it's about time Marty is getting cared for in the hospital. Unfortunately, he's not out of the woods yet. One reviewer left a comment that the last chapter was too short and they wanted more now!...Sorry! I try to break the chapters at the most logical point in the story so some will be shorter than others. This next chapter is a nice long one.

I'm amazed at everyone who has reviewed, followed and favorited this story. Thanks so much to all of you!

It warms the little 'cockles of my heart' that you're all so invested in what is happening to Marty. I'm updating as fast as I can. The story is already completely outlined with most of the complete as well. There is just the finishing work for each chapter that I do just before I post it. That's when I try my best to make sure there are no logical inconsistencies, grammar, spelling and punctuation errors.

Reviews are always welcome.

Enjoy.

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While Deeks was being examined, Hetty and Kensi met up in the hospital's ER waiting room. "Where's the rest of the team?" Kensi asked looking around in confusion at not seeing anyone but Hetty.

"I left them doing paperwork. I promised them I'd let them know when we hear anything but for now they wouldn't be doing any good standing around here and the paperwork is seriously behind. They'll be coming by later. How are you holding up my dear?"

"Okay…feeling guilty I teased him this morning…worried...scared. You should have seen him when I got there Hetty…I've never seen someone that ill before…he was covered in sweat and all tangled up in his sheets because he was thrashing around so much. And he was mumbling all kinds of words and phrases. I heard some of what he was saying and I wanted to cry. He sounded so young and so scared. Just how bad was his childhood?"

"Miss Blye, it's not my place to tell you that. If Mr. Deeks wants you to know his background, and if he feels he can trust you, he'll confide in you. I can tell you that trust doesn't come easily to him and that he's been alone for a very long time. He could use a friend. Anything else you want to know will have to come from him."

Kensi's feelings of guilt were almost overwhelming her, but she stuffed them down deep because Deeks was more important right now than how she was feeling. She thought over everything she knew about her partner and what she was going to do to let him know that he was important to her. Hetty's talk earlier that day had opened her eyes to a little of what Deeks might have been feeling when the three of them teased him, or left him out of discussions, or just took him for granted. She was angry at herself for her part in it.

As Hetty and Kensi were talking, Hetty saw the ER doctor coming toward them with a very serious look on his face. He introduced himself as Dr. Jamison, Marty's attending physician, just before Hetty asked "What have you found out Dr. Jameson? I'm his boss. Mr. Deeks doesn't have any family so you can tell me."

Dr. Jamison related what he had discovered. "By the time Mr. Deeks reached the hospital his temperature was 104.5 and he had experienced two convulsions. He's extremely dehydrated which we're treating with IV fluids. We've implemented cooling measures to try to bring down his temperature. So far, we've reduced it somewhat which means it's still dangerously high but better than before. We also have him on a broad-spectrum IV antibiotic regimen to treat the sinus infection. I'm concerned about meningitis since he presented with such a high fever and convulsions. I've sent him for a lumbar puncture, commonly known as a spinal tap, and an MRI to rule it out. The spinal tap will also help to determine exactly what type of bacteria is causing Mr. Deeks symptoms. I hope to have a more definitive diagnosis as soon as I get the MRI results. I'll come see you again when I have them," he said before returning to his patient.

"Meningitis" Kensi whispered. "That's bad isn't it?"

"I'm afraid so Miss Blye. I'm calling the team to let them know." As promised she called Callen and let him know what the doctor had told them. She informed him that Kensi could use the teams' support and to come to the hospital. Callen let her know they would be there as soon as possible. Hetty then disappeared after telling Kensi she would be back shortly.

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Kensi stood in the waiting room staring out the window waiting for the team to arrive. As she stood there she thought back to when they had been investigating the attack on U.S. Marines during a training mission in the desert. _"I gave him such a hard time about everything even the number of times he had to pee. God, I compared him to a Ken doll because he's 'also not anatomically correct'. When he shot the snake because 'it looked like a pouncer' I teased him. I even pointed out the fact that his zipper was undone. He was so embarrassed. How could I be so mean! Then I yelled at him when he finally showed up after providing the diversion I needed to get to the two Marines that were being held captive. He saved my butt, nearly got killed when they shot his bike out from under him and nearly blown up when a missile hit the trailer he was hiding behind. And what did I do for him during all of that? Nothing much. All I did was call out his name. Did I go looking for him when everything was under control? No, I didn't and neither did Sam or Callen. What a team we are. He's right, we haven't made him a full member of this team, but that is going to change." _she thought._ "And I always have to be the one in control. I have to be the one to drive or choose the radio station we listen to but he just let's me have my way. When he teases me, I punch him in the arm. Any other man wouldn't let me get away with it, but he just smiles and says 'Ow' then makes a quip or calls me by one of the nicknames he's thought up. Why can't I tell him how much I appreciate him?" _The longer she thought about the way she treated Deeks, the guiltier she felt. She looked up as she heard Callen and Sam coming toward the waiting room.

"What's wrong with Deeks?" were the first words out of Callen's mouth.

Kensi turned from the window and moved into Callen's embrace. "We don't know anything yet other than he's running a dangerously high fever and had two convulsions on the way to the hospital. The doctor ordered an MRI to rule out meningitis. He'll come talk to us once they get the results."

"Convulsions? Just how high was his temperature?" Sam asked. He was beginning to realize how sick Deeks was. Sure he had to admit the guy got on his nerves but he was a member of the team and Sam hated to hear he was so sick. He felt guilty all over again for what he had thought earlier; that he was just faking it.

"It was 104 degrees by the time the ambulance arrived at his apartment. If it gets much higher, he could suffer brain damage." Kensi replied. "He's really sick, you should have seen him. He was thrashing around on his bed and covered in sweat. It scared me."

"Where's Hetty?" Callen asked "I thought she would be here."

"I don't know where she went but she said she would be back shortly. What are we going to do if he doesn't make it, Callen? I've already lost one partner. I don't want to lose another one."

Callen reassured her "He'll make it. He's tougher than he looks."

"How do you know? We don't know anything about him. We've never tried to find out either. What does that say about us? We never include him or act like he's part of this team. When I think about some of the things I've said to him, I'm ashamed of myself." Kensi was feeling guilty as hell.

"Come on Kensi. He's a big boy. He knows he's part of the team." Sam tried to calm her down but only succeeded in making her madder.

"You sure about that Sam? Is that why he's thinking about going back to LAPD? When have you ever acted like he's part of the team? All I've seen you do is put him down. You goad him about his 'fluffy hair', 'delicate skin', his undercover skills and his liaison abilities. You're always going on about being a bad-ass SEAL while he's only 'a cop'. When have you ever made him feel welcome? Hell, neither you nor Callen even asked him if he was all right when you were checking on me after the fire fight in the desert." Kensi was on a roll now and Sam was her target. She was quivering with anger and wanted nothing more than to hit something or someone.

Sam was surprised at the depth of her anger, but her words brought to mind the incident she was talking about and he realized she was right. He and Callen had been worried about her and were calling her name to make sure she was okay. They even asked if the marines were okay, but didn't once call out to see if Deeks was. Deeks was the one to come into view and say something like 'I'm okay too, if anyone is interested.' Sam remembered he had given him a thumbs up but looking back on it, it was a pretty pathetic gesture on his part for another team member. They hadn't even thanked him for keeping Kensi safe when they found out the details of what had happened. "You're right Kensi. I haven't been a very good team member, but that is going to change. I promise."

Callen was thinking about the same case and coming to the same conclusion Sam was. They did take Deeks for granted a lot of the time. They were quick to call him out when they thought he had done something wrong or had missed something, but never let him know when he did well. They just 'assumed' he knew he was part of the team and when Callen recalled what 'assumed' meant, 'making an ass out of you and me', he felt like he had failed Deeks completely. He was team leader so it was his responsibility to look out for all members of his team but he had failed when it came to Deeks. No wonder Hetty had read them the riot act earlier in the day. Callen remembered he hadn't even asked Deeks if he was okay once he heard that his bike had been shot from under him and he had gone flying into the dirt. And to top it all off, he had yelled at him for saving his life last Friday when he was already sick and they had got into it again yesterday when he had tried to make it better but had only succeeded in making it worse. Deeks had been sick for almost a week and no one had noticed. Some agents they were. _"I haven't been acting like much of a team leader when it comes to Deeks, that's for sure. No wonder he's thinking about going back to LAPD."_ he thought.

Callen wasn't one to let people get close to him. His lack of knowledge about his own family, hell even his own first name was part of it. Having gone through 37 foster home placements during his childhood had contributed to making him a very closed off individual. He didn't let very many people get close to him. He could count them on one hand and have fingers left over. The only people remotely close to him were Hetty, Sam and Kensi. He might include Nate on that list, but Deeks wasn't on it at all. Callen hadn't chosen him for his team and had questioned Hetty about it when she brought him on as the liaison. He knew they didn't need a liaison and told Hetty so, going so far as to tell her he was a lousy liaison and LAPD 'hated him'. After talking to Hetty he understood she didn't want Deeks as a liaison, she wanted him as an agent and had been watching him for some time. He knew Hetty saw something valuable in Deeks and decided to look more closely at him to see what that was. He couldn't deny that Deeks always had their backs. He was amazing when undercover. He could disappear into his aliases and Callen had to admit it, at least to himself _"I've never come across anyone as good as Deeks in that regard. So why is it so hard for me to realize how good he is in other areas? And why is it so hard to acknowledge his abilities and value to the team?" _he wondered._ "We can't afford to lose him. I just hope it's not too late. If it is, it's my fault."_

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	7. Chapter 7: Worry

Here's the next chapter. Deeks is still a very sick man and the team is finding out more of the details while dealing with their worry and guilt.

No NCIS Los Angeles is STILL not mine. If it was, I wouldn't keep leaving new episodes off the weekly air time! It's driving me crazy waiting for another new installment.

All of you have bowled me over with your reviews, favorites and follows. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Virtual hugs to all of you.

Enjoy.

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As the team stood there each deep in their own thoughts, Hetty returned to the waiting room. She had been standing just out of sight of the team and had been able to hear most of the conversation between her agents. From what she had been able to hear, it appeared Kensi and Sam had made some progress in becoming more aware of how they treated their liaison officer. She wasn't quite as sure of Mr. Callen since he normally kept most of his feelings to himself, but she had been able to watch his face and knew he had listened and taken to heart what the other two had said so she was confident he felt the same way and that all of them would resolve to do better. If she found she was wrong she was determined to take further action as needed. She was determined to keep Mr. Deeks as part of NCIS and this team. Kensi glanced up as she entered the room.

"Hetty, have you heard anything?" Kensi asked as soon as she saw the tiny woman.

"No, not yet. I've been arranging coverage for your team so that you won't get called for a case. Renko's team will be taking any cases that would normally come to you. The case load has lessened significantly so his team will be able to handle any new ones we get. I don't believe any of you are effective right now. You're all still exhausted and with Mr. Deeks incapacitated, you're down a man. As soon as we get word about him, I want you all to go home. Tomorrow you can begin catching up on the paperwork that has piled up since the beginning of this month."

"But Hetty, someone needs to be here for Deeks. He shouldn't be alone; he shouldn't wake up alone" Kensi pleaded. "What will he think if he wakes up and no one is there with him?"

Hetty stood there in silence looking at each person in turn. "Now, you're worried about him? I'm glad but what's caused the sudden change in attitude?" Hetty was playing devils' advocate and wanted to hear what they would say.

Callen spoke up. "We've all been thinking long and hard about what you said Hetty and we're ashamed of some of the things we done or not done as the case may be." He glanced at the other two and received nods of agreement. "We're going to try harder to make sure Deeks knows we consider him a valued member of this team. Part of that is to be here for him. He shouldn't wake up all alone in a hospital. He needs to know we have his back just like he always has ours. It's what we've aways done when one of us has been here and he's one of us so it's the least we can do."

"So what do you suggest Mr. Callen?" asked Hetty. She was willing to leave it up to him to come up with a solution.

"We can take turns staying with him. Someone should be here with him at all times once he's in a room. We can schedule it so that two of us are catching up on our paperwork while the other is with him. That way we'll be able to support him and get caught up at the same time. And whoever is here can keep us informed of Deeks' condition."

"I see...yes, it's a good plan Mr. Callen. Let me know the schedule you come up with. I'll also take a turn staying with Mr. Deeks. You might check with Nell and Eric to see if they would like to be included any time they're not needed in OPS." With that Hetty, sat down in a chair to wait for news from the doctor. "We should be hearing from the doctor soon." Taking her cue, they all sat down and tried to get comfortable.

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As the hours progressed, the entire team began getting restless. None of them were good at waiting around. They hadn't yet heard anything from the doctor and the longer they waited, the more worried they became. Callen was sitting in a chair looking through the old magazines provided but not processing anything he saw in them. Kensi was pacing the floor, 10 steps up then 10 steps back, over and over again. Sam had tried to meditate but after several hours he gave it up as a lost cause. He knew he couldn't sit around and do nothing while they waited for news any longer so offered to make a food run. Asking each of them in turn, he took orders on what they each wanted. Kensi didn't want anything but after Hetty spoke up "Miss Blye you need to keep your strength up," she asked for a sandwich and mineral water. Sam knew she wouldn't ask but would feel much better if he got her some of her junk food with lots of sugar in it so made sure to get some along with coffee and a sandwich for Callen, the same for himself and a sandwich for Hetty. He even got some tea for Hetty though he knew she would be able to taste the paper from the teabag. Returning to the waiting room, he passed out the food and drinks and made sure Kensi at least ate part of her sandwich before beginning to exhale the Twinkies he had brought back for her.

"Thanks Sam" came from the Callen and Kensi. Hetty thanked him as well "Thank you for the tea Mr. Hanna. Even though I can taste the paper, I appreciate the effort and the thought."

"Have we heard anything yet?" he asked.

"Nothing so far." Hetty glanced up and saw the doctor heading toward the room. "But I think we'll be hearing about Mr Deeks' condition in a moment," she said gesturing to the approaching doctor.

Dr. Jameson entered the room he saw the entire team standing there looking at him in anticipation. "Why don't you all sit down? I've got a lot to go over with you." As soon as everyone was seated, he began. "The MRI results are back and it confirms that Mr. Deeks has bacterial meningitis. It also shows a small brain abscess which, I believe, developed into the meningitis. Meningitis is a life-threatening infection of the protective membranes that surround the brain. A lumbar puncture was done to determine the type of bacteria causing the meningitis so we can tailor Mr. Deeks' treatment for the best results. Until we have a targeted approach, he is being treated with a broad-spectrum antibiotic and supportive care."

Kensi gasped when she heard the words "life-threatening infection" while Sam and Callen looked at each other with concern. Hetty sighed deeply and motioned for the doctor to continue.

"It's a good thing you got him to the hospital as quickly as you did. As I mentioned before, we are treating the underlying sinus infection with antibiotics through his IV line. We are also giving him oxygen as a supportive measure and steroids to help reduce the inflammation of the membranes around the brain. He's been moved to Intensive Care and I anticipate he will be there for at least 3 to 4 days barring any complications. After leaving ICU, he will probably spend close to another week in the hospital before he can go home. He will need 24-hour support once he leaves the hospital. He will be tired and too weak to be on his own. If there is no one to care for him at home, we can send him to a rehab center until he is well enough to take care of himself."

"I'll take care of him when he goes home. He's my partner. It's the least I can do." Sam and Callen looked at each other. They both knew that Kensi was feeling really guilty about the way they had been treating Deeks. Understanding passed between them and Callen piped up.

"We'll all help when he goes home. He won't have to go into a rehab center."

"You mentioned a brain abscess. What treatment are you providing for that?" Hetty asked.

"It's a very small abscess so the antibiotics he's receiving should take care of it. We're keeping an eye on it to ensure that it doesn't get any larger and that no others develop. If the abscess gets larger or more are discovered, we may have to operate, but I don't anticipate that occurring in this case."

Hetty again asked the next question the team wanted the answer to "What can we expect in the next few days? What kind of complications can occur?"

Dr. Jamison continued "Please remember that none of these are likely to occur; the incidence rate is only 1 in 4 and that's usually in people that have a combination of meningitis and septicemia which Mr. Deeks does not, but complications can include one or more of the following: hearing loss, speech problems or vision loss, which may be partial or total; problems with memory and concentration; problems with co-ordination and balance. I want to stress that even if Mr. Deeks does develop one or more of these complications, they may only be temporary and not permanent."

"Oh my God" Kensi whispered. She knew if any of these occurred and were permanent it would mean that Deeks could no longer be their liaison officer or a cop. She also knew enough about him to know that he would be devastated if he could no longer do his job. It would probably mean he would no longer be able to surf either. She was afraid he would give up if he couldn't do any of the things he loved.

"As soon as we have him settled in ICU, each of you can see him for five minutes. Hetty has requested that one of you be with him at all times while he's in ICU and the head of the hospital has granted her request. This is very unusual, but not unknown. The staff is having a comfortable chair and a cot set up in his room for the person who will be staying with him. You will all have to follow ICU protocols before you are allowed to see him."

"Thank you Dr. Jameson. My team will be taking turns staying with Mr. Deeks. He has no family other than us and we don't want him waking up alone and not knowing what's going on." Hetty replied.

"I'll come and get you as soon as he's settled. They're moving him now so it should be within the next 30 minutes." With that, Dr. Jameson left to attend to his patient.

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	8. Chapter 8: Confirmation

My minions have been trying to convince me I can steal NCIS Los Angeles since I don't own it or CBS and couldn't buy them if I wanted to. I'm having a hard time convincing them it's not feasible, but I'll do it.

Reviews are always welcome.

Enjoy.

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After the doctor left the room, Hetty turned to the team "Miss Blye, why don't you take the first shift with Mr. Deeks. Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna let's return to OSP as soon as we've seen him to set up a schedule for the next few days for someone to be with Mr. Deeks at all times." As soon as Marty was settled in ICU; Hetty, Sam and Callen each went in to see him. They each spent a couple of minutes talking to the unconscious man. Both Callen and Sam looked unsettled once they saw him. They hadn't realized just how sick he was and were surprised at how frail he looked in the bed with all the tubes and wires around him. Hetty then led them out of the hospital while Kensi got herself ready to go to his room. As she did so she remembered the last time he had been in the hospital and hoped this time, he wouldn't feel as alone. Her thoughts were all over the place and she kept remembering things he had done or said to her as well as when she had been less than kind to him as she waited. _"I hope he realizes that I really do like him. Right after the Scarli operation he admitted he thought I didn't like him and seemed so resigned to that fact. I think he and I have made progress since then. I know I've learned to trust him to have my back, but I still have so much trouble letting him know. And I always have to be right...even when I'm not, he lets me get away with it! He's proven himself trustworthy time and again. What am I so afraid of? He's always had my back; its time I show him I have his. I don't want him to leave but have we pushed him so far away that he feels he has nothing left at NCIS? I've got to convince him to stay. I only hope I'm not too late. Sometimes when he looks at me I swear I can see eternity in his eyes. He looks at me like he wants to say something but is afraid if he does, it will ruin our partnership. Other times, he drives me wild with all his nicknames…'Fern'! What was he thinking when he came up with that one? Then there's 'Princess', 'Kens', Sugarbear and 'Kensalina'. He's always coming up with a new one. I just roll my eyes at him and give him a hard time about it, but if I'm being honest with myself I enjoy most of them. When he says looks at me like he does sometimes and calls me 'Kens' it gives me shivers and makes me think about what it would be like to be with him. I wonder if he was telling the truth about his father that one time. He never talks about his personal life. I hope he was joking, but God, sometimes when he smiles, I can tell it doesn't go any further than the surface of his eyes. Its like he's wearing a mask and hiding who he really is from us, so maybe he was telling the truth. I hope not but after this morning and hearing what he was mumbling, I'm not so sure. How can he always have a smile on his face? Even when I punch him he just looks at me and smiles…well after he's acted like I really hurt him, that is; if his childhood was as bad as I'm beginning to think it was, he didn't let it ruin him."_ She was deep in thought and was startled when the nurse came into the room and asked her if she was going to go to see Deeks in ICU any time soon. She followed her toward the his room.

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As Kensi approached Deeks' room, she plastered a smile on her face in case he was awake. As soon as she saw him she could tell he wasn't. The change in his appearance between yesterday and now brought home just how very sick he was. She wasn't sure if he was unconscious or just deeply asleep but his cheeks were still stained red and when she touched his hand, she could tell his temperature was still quite high. She turned to the nurse who followed her in and asked "Is he any better than when he first arrived?"

"Yes, he is. I know it doesn't look like it, but his temperature is down to 103 degrees which is an improvement. He should keep improving especially once we know exactly what bacteria is causing the infection and can target it with a specific antibiotic. You're going to have to be patient though because he is a very sick man. Why don't you talk to him? Patients have reported hearing sounds and the people around them talking even when they're unconscious. It can't hurt and it could help if he knows he's not alone. If you see anything that concerns you, push the button and I'll be right in. Its better to err on the safe side with meningitis."

"I'll do that. Thanks so much for taking care of him."

"It's my job so there's no need for thanks. Besides I can tell he means a lot to all of you and that says something about him. The cot is over there if you decide to sleep. If you need extra blankets just let one of us know and we'll get it for you. We've been informed that you or someone from your team will be here at all times." the nurse informed her before leaving the room.

Kensi sat down at the side of his bed and looked him over carefully. At least he appeared to be resting comfortably and wasn't moaning and thrashing around like he had been when she first saw him in his apartment. He sure didn't look like himself at the moment though. His hair wasn't fluffy, it was plastered to his head and dark with sweat. It looked like he had already lost his tan he was so pale except for his reddened cheeks, and he looked small and fragile in the bed, not long, lean and gorgeous. _"Did I just think of him as gorgeous! Oh my God, I did. Get a grip Blye. Well, he is gorgeous even if I'll never let him know I think of him like that. His eyes are the color of the ocean. And what a butt. Wow! Maybe I should call him wonderbutt as payback for all his nicknames for me? On second thought, it would just give him additional material to give me a hard time about so I'll keep that nickname to myself. This is my partner I'm drooling over. I would never hear the end of it if the guys found out." _As she continued sitting there another thought intruded._ "Oh shit…Monty...someone has to take care of Monty!"_ She pulled out her phone and called Hetty. "Hetty, who's going to take care of Monty while Deeks is here? He's been in his apartment all day now and probably needs to go out. And someone needs to make sure he's fed and watered."

"Don't worry Miss Blye. I already have it under control. Sam is going to take Monty home with him until Mr. Deeks is back on his feet."

"Sam? He agreed to look after Monty? He doesn't even like that dog. What did you do Hetty? Did you threaten him with your letter opener?"

"No, Miss Blye, I didn't need to threaten him. On the other hand, I may have enlisted his wife's help in persuading him to take care of Monty. His kids have been asking for a dog and this will give them a chance to see what it takes to care for one. Mrs. Hanna quite liked the idea and was able to 'convince' Sam it would be good for the kids."

"I would have loved to be there when he found out he was watching Deeks' dog." Kensi laughed.

"It was quite amusing. Mrs. Hanna is a force to be reckoned with. Sam didn't know what hit him when she told him in no uncertain terms that he would be taking care of Monty. I'm sure you would have enjoyed it. How is Mr. Deeks doing?" Hetty asked.

"I talked to the nurse and his temperature is down to 103 degrees. He's either deeply asleep or unconscious but at least he looks more peaceful than he did this morning." she replied.

"Keep us informed. I'll be there later to take over for you."

"See you then Hetty."

Kensi leaned back in the chair watching Deeks sleep. She was beginning to get a little tired herself. It had been a hell of a day and she had already been exhausted from the overload of cases they had caught the previous month. She got comfortable and was almost asleep when a low moan got her attention. She immediately leaned forward and studied Deeks' face. He was frowning and beginning to get restless. She didn't want him to have a nightmare like the one earlier that day so she began to stroke his face and shush him "Shh…Deeks…shhh...you're going to be okay. I'm here with you and your safe. Just sleep and get better." He seemed to hear the sound of her voice and turned his face into her hand. Her gentle strokes along his face seemed to settle him down again. She wondered what he had been thinking, but decided to keep soothing him since it was working, so she continued to stroke his face gently in between brushing his hair back out of his eyes. Once she was sure he was sleeping peacefully again, she sat back down in the chair, but kept a hold of his hand so he could feel someone was with him. She gently rubbed her thumb over and around his wrist. She hoped it was helping him.

As the evening wore on, she fell asleep in the chair. The events of the day had clearly exhausted her and Hetty found her slumped in the chair still asleep when she arrived to spell her. Hetty didn't want to disturb her since she seemed to be deeply asleep, but knew it would be better for her to go home and sleep in her own bed.

"Miss Blye, wake up. I'm here to relieve you" Hetty gently shook her shoulder to wake her. "Miss Blye, come on, wake up."

Feeling someone shaking her, Kensi opened her bleary eyes and tried to wake up. Looking around she spotted Hetty and yawned "Hi Hetty, is it already time for you to take over? I must have fallen asleep. So far he's been quiet except for a few moments of restlessness."

"Thank you, Miss Blye. Yes, its time for you to go home and get some sleep. I've already sent the rest of the team home. Mr. Callen will be here at midnight to spell me and then Sam is coming in the morning to spell him. I expect to see you in OSP in the morning. At noon you can take over for Sam. You have a mountain of paperwork to get through, my dear," she stated with a small smile.

"Yes, Hetty," she replied as she gathered her things and left after giving one last look at Deeks.

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	9. Chapter 9: A Complication

Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight...Oh bugger, that wish didn't work either. I still don't own NCIS Los Angeles or any of the characters from the show. I only own my imagination.

Another shout out to all of my reviewers, those who sign in and those who are guests. I really appreciate all of your comments. A few have been worried about Marty and what is going to happen to him. I promise I will return him in the same basic condition he was in before this story began.

To my French reviewer, I hope this translated properly: À mon invité réviseur qui utilise français, merci pour vos commentaires. En utilisant un traducteur que j'ai pu comprendre l'essentiel de ce que vous avez écrit. J'apprécie vraiment.

As always, thoughts are in italics.

Enjoy.

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After settling her things down, Hetty looked at Marty with concern. She could tell he was still running a pretty high fever. Straightening out the sheet covering him, she sighed and sat down in the chair Kensi had vacated a few minutes before. "Oh Mr. Deeks, you have to learn to take better care of yourself. You may not realize it but you're very important to me and the whole team. I know they haven't convinced you of that yet with their attitude, but they are very worried about you, especially Kensi. We will all be devastated if you don't make it, so fight to come back to us young man. You're needed desperately. You make the team much stronger than it is without you. You should have seen them when I informed them you were thinking about going back to the LAPD. I heard you whispering so I know how you're feeling."

She reached over and took one of his hands in her small one and began lightly stroking his palm in a similar manner as Kensi had been doing to his wrist. She didn't know if he could feel it, but she hoped so; besides it made her feel better. She sat there thinking about the young man lying in the bed in front of her. _"You don't have any idea how extraordinary you are, do you? You have such a wonderful outlook on and zest for life. Most children who go through the type of abuse you went through never recover, but you've not only recovered, you've thrived in spite of the odds against you. You used your childhood experiences to become a much better person than your father ever was. Oh, I'm sure you still struggle with your demons every day, but you don't let them control you. Even when you go undercover as Max Gentry, underneath you are still Martin Deeks and you are in control. I know you hate that alias. I believe its because you based it on your father and every time you use it, you're afraid of what it says about you. Listen to me, you will never be the monster your father was Mr. Deeks. Its just not in your nature. I've seen your kindness and gentleness. You have an uncanny ability to connect with children and get them to trust you. I think it's because they can tell you'll never hurt them and will protect them with every bone in your body. Children are very wise in that respect. You see right through Miss Blye and have from the very first time you two met. You know just when to push her to open up a little and when to pull back to keep her from running from her fears. She's lightened up since I partnered you two. And I can tell that you've already started finding your way through the cracks in that enormous wall she has surrounded her heart with. I was sure you would be her perfect match as a partner. What I didn't consider was the sparks that fly between you two whenever you're in the same room. Everyone can see it but you two. If a personal relationship develops between you two, you'll have my blessing. My only concern is that it may affect your working partnership. I certainly hope it doesn't because then I would have to separate you two as partners and I'm afraid if that happened, I would lose you both. I can see that you already have deep feelings for her. One day she may even be able to admit the same to herself about you. I only hope she doesn't take too long. I've seen you look at her with such love in your eyes, and I know you want to say something but don't want to scare her off. And you don't take any crap from her. Well, you do let her punch you and tease you; which you usually handle very well; and it might seem to other people that she dominates you, but I know better Mr. Deeks. You're just playing the long 'con' on her aren't you. She doesn't have a clue about what's really going on with the two of you, does she? I'm very sorry that some of Miss Blye's teasing has been mean-spirited but I hope I've opened her eyes as well as Sam's and Callen's regarding the way they've been treating you." _Hetty sighed. _"If I was only 20 years younger, Miss Blye might have some competition."_

Hetty began talking to him quietly telling him stories about her many adventures. She told Marty stories of where she had found many of the exotic teas she drank and kept trying to get him to try. Even though he didn't appear to hear her, she knew that many times even people in comas were able to hear those around them and she wanted him to know he wasn't alone. The nurse came in and asked her if she wanted anything. "A nice cup of tea would be greatly appreciated" she replied.

"I'll be back in a minute with your tea. I need to get Mr. Deeks' vitals anyway."

When her tea arrived, Hetty thanked the nurse and watched as she checked Marty thoroughly. She changed his IV, wiped his face and arms with a moistened towelette, checked his oxygen levels and took his temperature. "Everything looks stable so far" she informed Hetty with a smile.

Hetty sat back and relaxed with her tea. Then she continued relating stories of her travels all over the world when she was an agent to the silent man resting before her. Several hours passed with her relating additional adventures when she noticed Marty becoming restless. Reaching forward to check on him, she realized his cheeks were more flushed than ever and his fever was climbing. She quickly pressed the button to summon the nurse.

"Has something changed with Mr. Deeks?" the nurse asked coming into the room.

"I think his fever is climbing again" Hetty replied. "He's becoming restless and he feels hotter than he did earlier."

"I'll check his vitals again as soon as I page the doctor." She quickly issued the page and began examining Marty. After taking all his vitals except his temperature, the nurse inserted the thermometer in his ear. As she removed it, Hetty could tell it wasn't good news. "What's his temperature now?"

"I think I should wait for the doctor to talk to you," the nurse replied.

"You will tell me now, young lady. I insist."

Giving Hetty a frightened look, the nurse complied "His temperature is back up to 104. I'm going to get another cooling blanket. The doctor should be here soon," she continued as she left the room to get the needed supplies.

Hetty saw Dr. Jameson coming quickly down the hall toward Marty's room and stood up to greet him as he arrived. "Tell me what's going on with my agent, doctor."

"Let me check him out Hetty, and I'll give you all the information I can."

Hetty waited patiently for him to finish his examination. While he was doing that, the nurse arrived with the second cooling blanket. The doctor looked at her with appreciation and told her to get it in place as quickly as possible. Once he was finished checking Marty, he turned to Hetty. "I was afraid this would happen. Right now, we're giving him a broad-spectrum antibiotic while we wait for the results of the spinal tap. The antibiotics aren't working as well as I'd hoped they would. I should have had the results of the spinal tap by now." Turning to the nurse he instructed "Get me those results stat. If you have to threaten the lab tech, tell him that I have a very pissed off federal agent who will make his life a living hell if he doesn't get those results to me within the next hour."

"Yes, doctor." The nurse left to go to the lab wondering just who in the hell the patient was and why he was getting such special treatment. She admitted to herself that the tiny woman in his room scared her to death. Maybe she was the 'pissed off federal agent' the doctor was talking about even though she didn't look anything like what the nurse thought a federal agent should look like. "_Now, the patient in the bed" she thought. "He's a different story. Other than the fact that he is gorgeous, he looks like a federal agent should look. He's tall and muscular, but not muscle bound. I'm not sure about the hair though, I always thought federal agents had to keep their hair short like those other two men who visited him. I wonder what color his eyes are?" _She reached the lab and told the tech what Dr. Jameson had said. She took some pleasure in the fact that he looked as scared as she had felt by the time she finished relaying the message and assured her he should have the results in the next half hour when she told him she was to wait for the results to take back to the doctor.

Back in Deeks' room, the doctor had continued bringing Hetty up to speed on Marty' current condition. "Thank you Dr. Jameson. Is there anything I can do for Mr. Deeks while we're waiting for the results?" She asked once he was finished with his report.

"Not much more than you're already doing. You can make sure the cooling blankets stay in place. I'll be close by and will be back as soon as the lab results arrive, but if you think he's taking a turn for the worse, page a nurse to get me right away. The nurse will know where I am at all times until we get those results. I don't want Mr. Deeks to get any worse than he already is. I'm not sure how much more of this fever his body can take." Saying that, the doctor left the room to attend to other patients, assuring Hetty before he left that he would keep a close eye on Marty's condition.

Marty was getting more and more restless and beginning to moan once again. Hetty had a front row seat to the same types of cries and memories Kensi had mentioned earlier. She could tell Marty was again in the throes of nightmares about his childhood. Hetty heard phrases such as "hurts…make it stop", "don't want to be here…don't like hospitals" and "don't hurt her…don't…please don't". She knew he was reliving some of the most terrifying incidents of his childhood and wanted nothing more than to take him in her arms to soothe him. She did the only thing she could think to do by standing next to his bed and gently running her hands down his arms and shushing him. "Marty, your safe here…shhh…your father isn't here, he's dead. I won't let anyone hurt you again…rest, Marty, rest now." As she continued watching him suffer through the nightmares she thought to herself, _"It's a good thing you're dead Brandel. If you weren't I might kill you myself for what you did to your wife and son. Instead of protecting them like a good husband and father should, you terrorized them on a daily basis. It's a wonder Marty is such a kind and gentle man with a positive outlook on life. He must work at it every day so that he never ends up like you, you bastard!"_

As his fever continued to climb he began thrashing around in the bed and Hetty had trouble keeping the cooling blanket in place. She had already pressed the button to call the nurse when he went into another convulsion. She went to the door and yelled "Get someone in here NOW. He's convulsing!" Her cry brought an entire team into the room with doctors and nurses swarming around Marty while they added additional drugs to his IV to control the convulsion.

Dr. Jameson ran into the room just as the convulsion ended. "Hetty, I've got the results from the lab. We know what the specific bacteria is that is causing the meningitis." He injected the new antibiotic into Marty's IV. "We'll be giving him regular doses of the type-specific antibiotic from now on. We should start to see some improvement soon. I had hoped he wouldn't have another convulsion but with the rise in his temperature, I'm not really surprised. Let's hope it's the last one."

Hetty continued to watch over Marty once everything was over. She stayed by his side hoping he was somehow aware of her presence. She didn't want him to feel alone.

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	10. Chapter 10: What Else Can Go Wrong?

Well, we're almost half-way through this story. I can't believe how many reviews, follows and favorites this story has received. Thanks to everyone who has visited.

Thanks so much to the reviewer with a medical background who informed me that bacterial meningitis can be contagious. As I've mentioned before, I don't have a medical background and even though I try to research medical issues I use in my stories, I sometimes miss things. Since I'm already half-way through this story, and I haven't mentioned it previously, I'm going to maintain that everyone one who has come into contact with Marty has received any necessary preventive treatment.

I still don't own them but I do like to play with them. I'll put them back, I promise!

Enjoy

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Marty's temperature remained stubbornly high throughout the late evening. Hetty could tell the fever was taking an additional toll on his body and that he was becoming weaker by the minute. She found herself praying that there would be no further complications and that he would recover completely. She hated seeing him in that bed looking so fragile. When she wasn't praying, she was wiping his face and arms down with a cool cloth and whispering to him that he was safe. The only sounds coming from him now were soft moans every so often. He continued flailing around in bed from time to time which certainly didn't help him rest.

When Callen arrived at midnight and took in Deeks' condition, he was shocked beyond belief. The man lying in the bed looked nothing like Deeks. He was pale and sweating. His hair was plastered to his head. His cheeks were still flushed with fever and he had dark circles under his closed eyes. "Hetty, he looks 10 times worse than he did this morning. What's been happening? It looks like he's lost at least 10 pounds. He is going to make it isn't he?" Callen couldn't stand the thought that Deeks might die before he could make things right with him _"This is my fault. If I had been the team leader he needed, he might have come to me and let me know he was sick sooner and he wouldn't be lying in this bed looking like death warmed over. Come on Deeks, fight! I know you have it in you. I'm so sorry for making you think you didn't belong and weren't as good as the rest of us."_

"Mr. Callen we can only hope and pray. He had another convulsion earlier this evening and his temperature is back up to 104. The only good news we've had is that the specific bacteria causing the infection has been identified and a targeted antibiotic is now being administered through his IV. The fever is wearing him out and it doesn't help that he keeps struggling. He's using up what little energy he has left to fight this. I'm not sure even our Mr. Deeks can overcome this fight." After her last statement, Hetty gathered her things to leave for the night. "I'm not sure what we will do if he dies Mr. Callen. Watch over him carefully, please."

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Callen watched Hetty leave with a heavy heart. He knew the tiny operations manager was extremely worried about Deeks. He could tell by her walk just how concerned she was. He knew she had formed a connection with Deeks right from the very beginning and thought it was because of his joy for life and the wise-ass comments and quips he made to everyone, even her. Not many people had enough nerve to do so and he knew Hetty appreciated it. He could tell she got a kick out of his attitude and charm, even when she called him names like "cheeky bastard" or gave him a glare that had him backpedaling and sometimes babbling.

Once she was out of sight, Callen sat down in the chair she had vacated and reached out to take Deeks hand in his. He somehow knew it would help Deeks to know someone was still there with him. "Hey Deeks, it's my turn to watch over you now. We're not going to let anything happen to you, but you've got to meet us half way here Scruffy. Come on and fight for us. I know you can do it. Kensi needs you; hell we all do."

He noticed the cloth Hetty had been using to cool Deeks' face and arms, so he spent a few minutes doing the same thing and then straighten his sheets before sitting back down in the chair. He took out a magazine he had brought with him and began reading it to Deeks. "I brought your favorite surf magazine. It's the newest issue. You should see the hot chick on the front cover. I think she may be your type…she's a brunette. Just don't let Kensi see it, you might get a punch in the shoulder if she does." As he read from the magazine he would look up every few minutes to check on Deeks. He was still moaning every so often, but it sounded like they were getting softer and Callen didn't know if that was a good sign or not. As Deeks became quieter, Callen became worried enough to push the call button for the nurse. When she arrived in the room he looked up "Is it just me or does he look worse?" he asked the nurse.

"Let me check his vitals to make sure." While the nurse was checking Marty's vitals along with all the tubes, the IV and machines being used for his care, she also checked his body under the cooling blanket just to be thorough. As soon as she did, she noticed a rash covering his chest. Looking closer she saw some swelling of his face and lips. Listening to his breathing she noticed he was wheezing which caused her to wonder if he might be experiencing an allergic reaction to one or more of his meds. If he was, it could progress into anaphylaxis if not taken care of immediately. She grabbed the phone, paging his doctor to come to his room stat. While waiting for the doctor to arrive, she began gathering the items she knew he might need to treat the reaction Marty was having.

Dr. Jameson came into the room on the run. "What's happening now?"

"He's having an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. It looks like he's experiencing the beginnings of anaphylaxis. His face and lips are beginning to swell and I'm hearing some wheezing."

Dr. Jameson told the nurse to administer some Epinephrine through Marty's IV line to counter-act the anaphylaxis symptoms he was exhibiting. The doctor was thankful that the symptoms weren't severe yet. As they worked on Marty, the doctor was relieved to realize the symptoms had been caught in time to prevent him from going into anaphylactic shock and hoped this latest development wouldn't put too much additional strain on Marty's already taxed system. He was sick enough as it was. Once the epinephrine was onboard, he told the nurse to watch him closely to ensure that the symptoms were diminishing and report to him after an hour unless Marty took a turn for the worse. He had her retrieve a different type of antibiotic and gave her the name. She left the room momentarily and returned carrying a new IV bag and a syringe containing the new drug regimen. "Damn, I was hoping this wouldn't happen, but the way this case is going I'm not surprised. Replace the current IV bag and then inject the new antibiotic into the port."

Turning to Callen he said "The new antibiotic also targets the type of bacteria that is causing the infection but shouldn't cause a reaction like the previous one." He addressed the nurse once again "I want you to stay here in this room for the next hour to make sure any additional adverse reactions are identified immediately. Get someone to cover for you with the other patients. I'll stay here until you get back." Dr. Jameson filled out Marty's chart with the new instructions to ensure he would get the new antibiotic instead of the previous one. He wasn't taking any chances of him getting the wrong one. Even though he had downplayed the seriousness of Marty's condition slightly when talking to his team, he was surprised that Marty was still fighting and not getting even worse. The doctor was positive the man in the bed was a real fighter.

The nurse remained in the room monitoring Marty's condition for the next hour. It was unusual for a nurse to remain with a single patient monitoring them, but the nurse had long since realized that for some reason, this patient was a special case and was being treated like a VIP. Not for the first time, she wondered just who he and his friends were. Callen remained in the room talking quietly to the unconscious man and lightly wiping his arms with the cool cloth. He couldn't see any improvement and had to trust that the doctor and nurse knew what they were doing and what to look for. After an hour that felt more like a day, the nurse smiled at him "The swelling is going down and the rash is diminishing. I think we caught the allergic reaction in time to prevent it from becoming as severe as it could have been. Mr. Deeks should recover completely from this complication."

"That's great but how much more can he take before his body gives out?" Callen was surprised at just how worried he was about Deeks and how much it was affecting him. He was ready to admit that Deeks was a valuable member of his team, but he hadn't realized until now how protective he was beginning to feel. The feelings confused him because he wasn't used to them, especially when it came to Deeks.

"Your Mr. Deeks is certainly a fighter; I'll give him that. I wouldn't count him out just yet. People will surprise you with how hard they fight to keep going in the face of what looks like insurmountable odds. Be here for him and keep talking to him. I firmly believe it helps the patient to know they're not alone. I'm going to report to the doctor now. Again, if you see anything that concerns you, push the button to summon me or one of the other nurses."

"I will." Callen responded sitting back down in the chair keeping a close eye on Deeks. Once the nurse left the room, Callen continued wiping Deeks face and arms with the cloth as memories surfaced of cases they had been on together. _"He sure has a way of getting to people…not just me…but Sam and Kensi too. I think Hetty knew a lot about him before she ever offered him the liaison position. I'm positive she wants him as an agent. She's just being patient until he figures it out on his own. I do trust him, he's proven himself on every case we've had, so why do I give him such a hard time? I was really angry with him last week. When I saw him flying through the air toward the man with the gun and then both of them on the floor after the gun had fired, all I could think of was that he had been hit. Sam was right; he did save my life, but what do I do…I yell at him instead of saying thank you. Some team leader I am. I thought he knew he was part of the team after we backed him up with Scarli, but I never made sure he knew it. The most we've shown him is that we tolerate him. We're always giving him grief and calling him names. I thought they just rolled off his back. He sure didn't let on as if it ever bothered him, but maybe he's just that good at keeping his true feelings hidden behind a mask. Is the Marty Deeks we see every day just another mask he uses to hide who he really is and to protect himself from the world?"_

Callen continued ruminating about the enigma of Deeks until he heard low moans coming from the bed. He stood up and looked at Deeks noticing that his eyes were open slightly. Callen jumped up and leaned over the bed "Hey there Deeks, are you back with us, buddy?"

Marty's eyes were roaming lazily around the room, but after a moment Callen figured out that he wasn't really seeing anything. His eyes were glassy and there was no sign of recognition in them when his gaze would meet Callen's as he continued looking around the room. "Deeks…look at me" Callen urged. Getting no response from him, Callen pressed the call button and waited for the nurse to arrive."His eyes are open, but I don't think he's aware of much" he told the nurse. "I've tried talking to him, but he just keeps looking around the room without recognizing anything. Is this normal?"

"His fever is very high and it's causing some delirium. It explains his reduced awareness even though his eyes are open," she assured him. "You may also notice some hallucinations. His level of awareness will probably fluctuate throughout the day and night. The best thing you can do is to keep talking quietly to him. Let me know if anything changes."

"Okay."

As the night progressed toward dawn, Deeks would appear to be sleeping and then open his eyes slightly again and become restless. Sometimes Callen heard soft moans along with words and phrases. He had finally fallen asleep in the chair when something woke him up. Looking over at Deeks, he could tell, he was either dreaming or hallucinating.

"Don't…no…please no" Deeks softly moaned. "Don't hurt her!"

"Deeks, it's me Callen, your safe. No one else is here. I'm watching over you, just sleep." Callen tried to reassure him but couldn't tell if Deeks understood him or not. He was looking into his eyes, but nothing seemed to be registering with him.

"Callen? Is that Callen?…no…not Callen…dreaming, I'm must be dreaming…all alone…my fault...always alone." More soft moans and phrases came from Deeks. Callen was appalled at the anguish in his voice, and it made him feel even guiltier about some of the things he had said to the younger man in the field.

"Shhh, Deeks. Rest now, rest. I'm here. You're not alone." After a few minutes Deeks' eyes closed again and he settled down. Callen knew he was still running a high fever so he began wiping him down again with the cool cloth. Once he finished his self-imposed task, he sat back in the chair hoping that Deeks would sleep peacefully the remainder of the night.

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	11. Chapter 11: Sam's Turn

Well, Marty is still feverish and Sam is wondering how he can step up and be a better team member. Will Marty accept it once he's awake?

Once again I can only dream that NCIS Los Angeles is mine. Maybe its more of a delusion on my part, but I can hope.

Enjoy.

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CHAPTER 11: Sam's Turn

Sam arrived to take over for Callen at 6 am and found him sitting in the chair watching Deeks. "How's he doing?"

"He's had a restless night. He had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic he was on, so the doctor changed it for different one and treated the reaction. He was going into anaphylaxis but they were able to treat it successfully. He's still running a high fever and has been having bouts of delirium. His eyes have been open on occasion, but he hasn't recognized me when they are. They just wander around the room before he closes them again."

He looked at Sam and continued. "He's been moaning and whispering words and phrases during his delirium. I don't know how much more his body can take Sam. I've never seen anyone this sick before." Callen had not had a restful night. He hadn't been able to get much sleep and what little he did get had been filled with images of the fight he had had with Deeks just before everything went to hell.

"You've got to keep the faith G. He's going to be all right. We'll make sure of it even if we have to bully him into it." Sam tried to inject some needed humor into the situation, but Callen was having none of it.

"Sam you don't understand. You should have heard him. He feels completely alone. I think he's always been alone and then we treat him like a temp and give him nothing but grief. He's a great cop but we're always going on about how much better we are or that he isn't really an agent but 'just a cop'. I'm surprised he hasn't blown up at us before now. The few things he yelled at me in the bullpen must be just the tip of the iceberg. After Scarli, I knew his emotions run deep, but he never shows them to us. He always has a smile on his face and a quip or joke on his lips. Its like he's always undercover as an alias protecting himself because he doesn't trust us to have his back, even though he's always had ours. Can you think of a single time he failed to have our backs? I can't. What does that say about us?" Callen shook his head and then continued "I'll see you later Sam; I need to go home, get a shower and report to OSP. Watch over him closely. I don't think he's out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot."

Sam sat there thinking about what Callen said before he left. _"Is G right? Is that what Deeks actually thinks? Hetty did say he was thinking of going back to the LAPD. Have we been that insensitive to him?_ _I have to admit Deeks annoys me. He's always joking around and making smart-ass comments or quips or talking about some kind of nonsense. He never takes anything seriously or at least he hasn't seemed to do so to me and we have to be serious in this job. Lives depend on it. Hell, he's never even had any agent training. But I can't think of a single time when he failed to back us up. He watches over Kensi and has actually kept her from doing some of the more reckless things she used to do. He does whatever it takes to make sure the rest of us are protected. Why didn't I notice that sooner?"_

Glancing up after hearing a sound, Sam realized that Deeks had his eyes open again but he saw what G had mentioned. It didn't look like Deeks was really aware of anything or anyone in the room. After lazily looking around the room a couple of times, he closed his eyes again. A few minutes later he started whispering. Sam could hear some words clearly and just like Callen earlier, he was shocked at what he was hearing.

"Gun…he has a gun. Don't shoot her…put the gun down dad…no, don't do it…no. I had…I had to. He was going to kill us." Sam heard the guilt in Deeks' voice. He hadn't realized yet how much Deeks blamed himself when anything went wrong so wondered what was going on in his head to make him feel so guilty. "Sorry…my fault…all my fault" were the next words whispered by Deeks.

Sam leaned over the bed and tried to reassure him. "Deeks, it's all right. There are no guns here. Sleep. You're not alone, I'm here with you. Nothing's your fault Deeks, nothing." Looking around Sam saw the nurse heading into the room to check on Deeks. He didn't want to interrupt her before she completed the vitals check on him so waited until she was finished to ask "What's his prognosis? He still feels quite warm and he keeps whispering. Its like he's having bad dreams or something."

"He's not completely aware of what's going on around him because of the high fever. It's not as bad as it was before but it's still 103.5 which is dangerously high. We're treating him with a different targeted antibiotic now. He should show some improvement by tomorrow. He had a set-back when he had an allergic reaction to the previous antibiotic but so far, he's tolerating this new one without any side effects. As his fever comes down, he will become more aware of his surroundings. You should be prepared for the possibility that he won't remember anything that happened while his fever was so high though. It's a common side effect." She smiled at Sam and left the room after reminding him to call her if anything seemed off.

A short time later the nurse returned with a load of towels and linens which she put down next to the bed. She then asked Sam "Would you like to help me bathe him and change the sheets? I think he'll be more comfortable with clean linens. The current ones are clammy from all the sweat coming from him. I would also like to wash his hair."

"I don't mind, and fact, I'm glad I can help," Sam replied.

"Great, first let's get his hair washed." She asked Sam to gently lift Deeks' head and shoulders to she could put a towel beneath his head while she washed his hair and towel dried it. Once his hair was done, the nurse outlined the way they were going to get him bathed and his sheets changed.

First, she bathed Deeks face, arms and chest. Then she had Sam roll Deeks toward the left side of the bed and hold him steady while she bathed and dried the accessible portions of his back and his left leg and replaced the dirty sheets with clean sheets on that side. Once the sheets were in place, she asked Sam to come around to the right side of the bed and roll Deeks toward him again and hold him steady so she could repeat the process. She then replaced his gown, placed the cooling blankets back over him and pulled a clean sheet up to his chest. When everything was done, Sam thought that Deeks actually did look a little better. "I'll be back in 30 minutes to check him again and change his IV. If you have any concerns or questions before then, don't hesitate to use the call button."

As Deeks' hair dried completely, Sam was surprised to see it began to curl and look the same as it did every morning when Deeks arrived at work. He had been under the assumption that Deeks had to use all kinds of hair products including a dryer to get his hair to look the way it looked. Now he could tell Deeks had been absolutely truthful when he stated he never did anything with his hair and that it was 'styled by bed'.

~,~,~

Sam spent the morning in the chair watching over Deeks. He continued to open his eyes on occasion and look around but as before, he wasn't really aware of what he was doing. He would get restless every so often and begin whispering words and phrases, just like Callen had mentioned. What Sam heard Deeks whispering not only gave him some insight into what type of man Deeks was but also provided a tiny glimpse into the hell his childhood had been. Sam decided then and there that what he heard was private. He would never tell anyone anything Deeks had said while under the influence of his fever. Sam could tell it was much too personal and that no one but Deeks should be the one to decide when or if he told anyone such personal information about himself. It was the least Sam could do for him. Deeks began getting more and more restless about 9 am, so Sam summoned the nurse. He didn't want to take any chances if Deeks was taking a turn for the worse. The nurse came just like she told Sam she would and checked Deeks' vitals again.

"Is his fever down any?" Sam asked.

"Not yet. I've called the doctor and he should be in to check on Mr. Deeks in the next hour or so. He can fill you in on his current condition then."

Sam waited impatiently for the doctor to arrive. He was beginning to get worried because Deeks didn't seem to be getting any better and Sam remembered what G had said about him not being out of the woods yet. It felt like forever before the doctor entered the room. "What's going on doctor? He doesn't seem to be getting any better but shouldn't he be by now?"

Dr. Jameson checked Marty over very carefully before telling Sam what his current condition was. "Mr. Deeks is still running a fever of 103 which is slightly better than last night but still too high. The nurse informed me that he has had some bouts of delirium which is to be expected with such a high fever. I've scheduled him for another MRI and lumbar puncture to get a clearer picture of his current condition as I was hoping to see more improvement by now. He's not getting any worse which is a good thing. We just have to find the right combination of drugs and supportive care to help him continue to improve. I know it's hard to be patient when your friend is this sick, but we're doing everything we can and he is holding his own. Why don't you take a break and go get some breakfast? We'll be taking him down for his MRI in a couple of minutes and he won't be back in his room for at least an hour."

"Thanks doctor, I'll do that. It will give me a chance to update the team as well."

~,~,~

Sam retreated to his car before calling Hetty and updating her on Deeks' condition. She promised to let everyone else know. "I'm going to go get some breakfast. The doctor said he should be back in his room in an hour. I'll stay with him once he's back in his room until I'm relieved. Who is coming to take my place anyway?" he asked Hetty.

"Miss Blye has convinced me that she should be with Mr. Deeks beginning at noon and I agreed with her. She is his partner after all. I'll be sending Nell over this afternoon to relieve her unless something comes up here in OPS that she has to handle. You go home as soon as Kensi gets there and spend some time with your family. I don't want to see you at the Mission until tomorrow morning at the earliest. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Hetty" was all Sam could say. He knew she wouldn't listen to any argument he might be able to come up with so gave in as gracefully as he could. He was looking forward to seeing his family anyway. He felt an overwhelming need to see them and make sure they were okay. He took his time over breakfast after talking to Hetty and as he slowly ate he began thinking about what Hetty had said in the bullpen when they first heard that Deeks was sick.

_"Hetty really laid into us, but she was right to. How long has Deeks been part of this team and none of us really know anything about him. I certainly didn't know he could speak three languages. I've heard him speaking Spanish but I thought he was just faking it. And no one would believe he's a genius by looking at him. He looks like a typical California surfer with too much time on his hands and not much going on up stairs."_ Sam thought.

_"Why didn't I offer to help train him? Isn't that part of my job on the team? G and I both helped Kensi with her training when she joined us and she had already been through FLETC. But none of us offered to mentor Deeks. I've seen him undercover and he's good, real good. Why haven't I ever let him know that? I'm certainly not following my SEAL training or else I would have made sure Deeks was getting the training he needed to become more valuable to our team. I've got to man up and do better from now on and that begins with letting Deeks know he's part of this team."_ Before he realized it, he had finished his lunch and decided to return to Deeks' room. He got back just as they were getting him settled. "What did the doctor find out?" he immediately asked the nurse.

"The doctor will be here in a little while to fill you in."

All the waiting around was taking a toll on Sam but there was nothing he could do about it so he returned to the chair and began talking to Deeks about his time in the SEALs and the early days of his partnership with G. "It took G and me about a year to really come to trust each other in the field. I mean we worked well together, but it takes time, you know, to get comfortable with someone new watching your back. Now I can't imagine not being G's partner." Looking at the sleeping man he continued "I know you and Kensi trust each other. We can all see it. I think you're good for her. You two are already on your way to being great partners."She's not as reckless as she used to be and you're the first person other than G or me she trusts to have her back. I can tell you watch out for her all the time. It's so obvious. Hell, you even know when she needs sugar and what type is the best on any given day. I'm sorry I haven't given you a break. I'll try hard to do better."

He went on to tell him some of the more embarrassing stories about the legendary G. Callen since he was pretty sure Deeks wouldn't remember any of them. Even if he did, G wouldn't know for sure who told him. It would be fun to watch G try to figure it out. When he got tired of telling stories, he looked around for something else to do and spotted a magazine on the table. He didn't care what kind of magazine it was, he was sure he could find some article in there he could read to Deeks. Looking through the table of contents, he found one about wine that sounded interesting so began reading it out loud. He figured Deeks could hear him and no matter what the subject was it would let him know he wasn't alone.

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	12. Chapter 12: Kensi Takes Over

I feel like a broken record here, but I don't own NCIS Los Angeles or any of the characters. They belong to someone else who won't share!

Marty's stable for now, are things looking up for our favorite blue-eyed blonde detective?

Enjoy

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When Kensi arrived to relieve Sam, she could hear his voice so paused out of sight and listened to him reading to Deeks for a while. It made her feel better to know that everyone had stepped up to make sure Deeks was never alone. Walking into the room, she gave Sam a hug and told him "Get out of here and get some rest. I'll take over now. Hetty's filled me in on how he's been doing. Has anything changed recently?"

"Nothing's changed. He's had his eyes open a few times, but he's not really aware of anything around him. His fever has been stable all morning. I've been reading to him most of the morning. Although I did help the nurse with him earlier. He's going to be so pissed when he finds out I helped his nurse give him a sponge bath and wash his hair while he slept through the whole thing! Don't worry so much, he's getting better. See you later Kens." Sam wrapped his arms around her and gave her a long hug. "Keep thinking good thoughts. He'll get through this. He is a fighter. He's surprised me on more than one occasion with his tenacity and grit, but if you ever tell him I said that, I'll deny it." Sam encouraged her before he left to go home. He was going to hug his kids and tell his wife how much he loved them. Seeing Deeks so deathly ill had made him realize anything could happen to him or his family at any time and he wanted them to know how much they meant to him. He made himself a promise that he would tell them every day.

As soon as Sam left, Kensi gave Deeks a very close look before deciding that he didn't look any worse. He even looked slightly better than he had the night before. Before she sat down, she brushed his hair away from his face and whispered "Hi, its' Kensi. I'll be here with you all afternoon. You look a lot better than you did yesterday."

She crossed her fingers and prayed that he was over the worst of his illness. She wasn't sure how much more his body could take before it gave out. The thought of him dying terrified her and she didn't know why…or maybe she just wasn't ready to admit why yet. She took his hand in hers again as she sat down in the chair. It wasn't as hot as the previous day, but still too warm for her liking. She missed seeing his ocean-blue eyes looking at her and his cocky smile. She missed his quips and smart-ass remarks. She missed the way his eyes would darken when he thought she did something reckless or when he was worried about her. She even missed his nicknames for her. _"Who would have thought I would miss him calling me Fern." _She was concentrating so hard on looking for any sign that he was getting better, she didn't notice when Dr. Jameson walked into the room.

"Miss Blye? Miss Blye?" he had to call her name twice before she heard him.

"Oh, hi Dr. Jameson. I guess I spaced out there for a moment. How's he doing today? He doesn't feel quite as warm as he did yesterday."

"His temperature has come down a little more. It's now 102.5. Still too high for my liking but at least it's going in the right direction. I've got the results of the most current MRI and spinal tap. Do you want me to go over them with you or would you rather wait for Hetty to get here? I just finished talking to her and she said she was on her way. She should be here in a little while."

"I'll wait for Hetty to get here. Thanks." Kensi didn't want to be alone when she heard the latest news in case it was bad. She wasn't sure how much more bad news she could take. "When do you think he's going to wake up? Its already been two days."

"If his fever continues to drop, I would expect him to become more aware of his surroundings by later this evening or tomorrow morning. You've got to remember he was critically ill two days ago and is still a very sick man. It's going to take some time for his body to recover enough for him to wake up and get back to his normal self. Right now peaceful sleep is the best thing for him."

"Yes, I know, but I just want to see him open his eyes for me."

~,~,~

Hetty could see Dr. Jameson and Kensi waiting for her as she approached Marty's room in ICU. She was hoping for some good news for a change but wasn't optimistic. Marty couldn't seem to catch a break with his illness; he had been healthy just a few days ago and now he was critically ill and Hetty knew he could still take a turn for the worse even with all the care he was receiving. She looked at Kensi first when she arrived in Marty's room "Hello Miss Blye. How are you holding up my dear?"

"Hi Hetty. I'm doing fine, it's Deeks I'm worried about."

Hetty turned to the doctor. "So Dr. Jameson, what is the word on our Mr. Deeks. Is he out of the woods yet?"

"Why don't you both sit down. I have a lot of things to discuss with you." Dr. Jameson pulled a chair into the room and sat down while Kensi gave Hetty the chair already there and sat on the cot. They both then turned their attention to the doctor with Kensi imagining the worst. _"He wouldn't have asked us to sit down if he had good news, would he?"_ she thought.

Marty surfaced slightly and could hear voices around him but he was so tired he couldn't seem to pry his eyelids apart no matter how hard he tried. _"What's going on? Where am I?" _was all he could think. He struggled to remember something, anything that might have happened to cause him to end up wherever here was, but he couldn't think clearly. His mind was foggy and he kept remembering bits and pieces of his nightmares. He thought he remembered people touching him and moving him around, but that didn't make any sense to him. Why did he need someone to move him around? He could move on his own, couldn't he? As he kept trying to figure out what had happened to him, he finally remembered leaving the Mission on Hetty's orders but he couldn't remember why. His next clear memory was taking a pill and falling into bed to sleep. After that it was a complete blank; there was nothing he could think of between taking the pill and this moment. He tried again to open his eyes, but they felt like they had lead weights on them and before he could get them open, he slipped back into sleep. No one in the room noticed anything because Marty hadn't moved but had remained motionless in the bed and looked like he was still unconscious.

"I have good news and not so good news. Which one do you want first?" the doctor asked.

"Give us the not so good news first" Hetty replied.

"Okay, the not so good news first. The most current MRI shows the membranes surrounding his brain are still somewhat swollen which leads me to believe he may exhibit one or more of the side effects from the meningitis we discussed when he first arrived here. I can't tell you at this point whether any side effects that might manifest will be permanent or not. If he does experience one or more of them, you will have to provide him with plenty of support. Mr. Deeks' temperature is not coming down as fast as I would like, but it is coming down. I'm also slightly concerned that he isn't conscious yet. He's been through a lot so it's not uncommon for patients to take some time to regain consciousness, but the sooner he does the better.

"The good news is the MRI shows the brain abscess has dwindled in size and there have been no additional abscesses found. The swelling of the membranes protecting his brain has also gone down, even though not completely and the spinal tap shows a greatly reduced percentage of bacteria in his system. His sinus infection is clearing up nicely and he hasn't had any more convulsions since last night when you were here Hetty. Overall, his prognosis has improved quite a bit from when he was first admitted."

"So why isn't he awake yet?" Kensi asked.

"As I mentioned before, I'm anticipating he will wake up within a day or so. His body needs to rest to combat his illness. If he doesn't regain consciousness soon, I'll be running additional tests to see if there is anything we've missed." Dr. Jameson answered. "Do either of you have any other questions for me?"

"I think you've answered all of our questions for right now doctor." Hetty thanked him.

~,~,~

Hetty spent a few minutes with Kensi trying to reassure her about Deeks, then left to go back to the Mission telling her "No need to come into OSP until tomorrow Miss Blye. After you leave here, go home and get some rest. I know you could use it and you need to keep up your strength so you can provide support for Mr. Deeks when he wakes up. Call me if anything changes."

Kensi wasn't about to argue with Hetty because she was tired. The combination of spending all her time in OSP on paperwork and worrying about Deeks in between being here at the hospital with him, was taking its toll on her. As soon as Hetty left, she moved from the cot to the chair and took Marty's hand in her own again. She didn't know for certain, but she hoped he could feel that he wasn't alone. Watching him, she wished again that she hadn't been so hard on him. She vowed to herself that as soon as he was awake she was going to make sure he knew she trusted him to have her back at all times. She was going to convince him that he was a good man, a great cop and would be a great agent if he ever decided to become one. _"Marty, you're doing fine. You have to keep fighting for me. I want to see you open those gorgeous blue eyes and call me one of your cheesy nicknames for me. Can you do that please?"_ Before she knew it she had slipped into a light sleep with her head back in the comfortable chair the hospital had provided.

The day passed relatively quietly with the current on-duty nurse coming in on a regular basis to check Marty's vitals and make sure the IV didn't need changing. His temperature remained at 102.5 and he was still unconscious, but he was stable. Just before noon, Hetty called and informed Kensi that Nell was still needed in OPS and wouldn't be able to take over for her. "It's okay Hetty, I've been able to nap some so I can stay with Deeks."

"All right Miss Blye, but if you want some relief, call me and I'll send someone over."

"I will, Hetty." Since she was awake, Kensi told the nurse she was going to take a quick break to get something to eat in the hospital cafeteria. She gave the nurse her number in case anything changed with Deeks while she was gone. She hurried to the cafeteria and wolfed down a sandwich and a drink without really tasting it in her hurry to get back to him. She was afraid he would wake up and find out he was alone while she was gone and she didn't want that to happen. She had to be there when he opened his eyes. She didn't want him to feel alone and abandoned for a single second.

Kensi ended up spending the entire day and night with Deeks. He didn't wake up and she continued to worry about everything that could possibly go wrong. Hetty called regularly to get updates and sent Nell over with dinner for her. Nell had her marching orders from Hetty to stay and make sure Kensi ate something. She ended up staying with Deeks while Kensi ran home to shower and change. Nell tried to convince her that she could stay and watch Deeks for the night but Kensi insisted she wanted to and would be back soon.

While Kensi was gone, Nell called Hetty and let her know she couldn't persuade Kensi to go home for the night but that she had been able to get her to take a break for a while.

"I was expecting Miss Blye to be stubborn." Hetty replied. "I'm surprised you actually got her to take a break. Very good Miss Jones. Try again when she gets back, but if she insists on staying, let her."

When she returned, Nell stayed while they talked for a while. Even though Kensi was tired, she appreciated the time Nell spent with her since Nell was able to reassure her that Deeks would be all right.

"Kensi, he's going to be fine. Please go home for tonight. I'll stay with him. He won't be alone and then you'll be refreshed tomorrow when he does wake up. Please?"

"Nell I can't leave him. It's partly my fault he's here. If I had only noticed he was sick sooner and not teased him about it maybe he would have seen the doctor sooner and not gotten so sick."

"Kensi, that's not true and you know it! Deeks will get better, we just have to be patient. He's been through a lot and he has to get his strength back before he wakes up. You know if he wakes up to find you skin and bones, it's going to upset him and make him feel guilty."

"I know Nell, it helps to have you say that he's going to be fine. And you're right, I don't want him thinking that I haven't been taking care of myself. He doesn't need to think it's his fault. Thanks so much for staying with me for a while. I'll be all right now. I'm going to sleep on the cot tonight in case he wakes up. You look tired as well, go home now and I'll see you tomorrow."

Nell sighed but agreed "All right, but I expect you to call me if you change your mind. If I find out you called someone else or that you collapsed because you didn't take care of yourself, I'm going to be really pissed! And I'll make sure Marty knows about it as soon as he's better so he can give you a hard time about it as well."

"Yes, Miss Jones! I'll be a good girl and call if I need anything." Kensi smiled and continued "Thanks for being such a good friend."

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	13. Chapter 13: Awake and Panicked

Here's a treat for everyone, a new chapter one day early. Marty's awake and has to come to terms with why he's in the hospital.

I still don't own anything but my imagination. NCIS Los Angeles is not mine, darn it. Still no beta so all errors are mine and mine alone.

I can't believe I've received over 100 reviews. Your support just blows me away. Thanks to much to everyone who is reading this story whether you review or not.

Enjoy.

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In the early afternoon of the third day, Marty again became aware of someone fussing over him and tried to figure out what was going on. He had no memory of being aware earlier. He tried to take stock of what each of his senses were telling him about his surroundings but it wasn't much. He could tell there was something across his face but couldn't figure out what it was. And something was on one of his fingers because it was heavier than the others. He thought maybe his other hand was tied down because he couldn't seem to move it. He came to the conclusion that he was in a bed but knew that it wasn't his bed. Listening to the sounds around him; the soft beeps, the steps quietly sounding in the hall and the announcements he heard, he eventually realized he was in the hospital but couldn't figure out why. _"Why am I in a hospital? Did something happen to me on a case? Why can't I remember?"_ He concentrated on trying to find the energy to open his eyes since he was getting more anxious the longer he couldn't figure out what had happened to him. He became more determined to open his eyes to see if he was right about being in the hospital. He wanted more than anything to see where he was. He hated the helplessness he was feeling and he had always hated not being able to see. It reminded him of when he was either punished as a child by being beaten and thrown into a dark closet with no lights or when he would hide in the smallest, darkest spot he could find so his father wouldn't find him and beat the crap out of him.

Marty's childhood had been an unending nightmare of beatings, screams, blood and darkness. Concentrating on opening his eyes, he thought he had succeeded but couldn't see anything because wherever he was, it was completely dark. He started to panic and began struggling to get out of bed. _"Where am I and why am I so tired? Maybe I've been drugged...that's it; I've been drugged somehow. Am I in some type of dungeon or closet without any windows? Why am I being kept in the dark? Was I kidnapped? Wait...if I'm right about being in the hospital, then I couldn't have been kidnapped. But if I am in a hospital why are the freaking lights out? Was there a power outage while I was sleeping?" _his thoughts were all over the place like so many scurrying mice running around frantically trying to find their way out of a maze.

Kensi woke up when the monitors started recording an increase in Deeks' heart rate. She looked at him noticing that he was frowning and struggling to get out of bed. She could see that his eyes were open and he was awake but the look on his face was sheer panic. She tried to get him to calm down. "Deeks, its okay. You're in the hospital. You're okay." She kept talking to him trying to reassure him but it didn't seem to be working. "Deeks…Deeks!…look at me, its Kensi. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm right here with you"

As Kensi's voice finally registered in Marty's brain, he asked "Kensi? Is that you?"

"Yes, I'm right here in front of you." She looked into his eyes, but could tell his weren't focused on hers which confused and frightened her.

"Why is it so dark…are all the lights out? I can't…I can't see you." Deeks sounded like a scared little boy when he told Kensi that. She didn't know what to do so pushed the button to summon the nurse and kept trying to calm Deeks down without telling him the room was actually very bright. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that Dr. Jameson had been correct about Deeks suffering complications from the meningitis.

"Kensi, what's wrong with me? Why am I in the hospital?" He was getting more and more agitated and panicky. He was holding on to her hand for dear life. "Kensi…answer me please. Answer me, dammit!"

"Deeks, calm down. I'm right here. You're going to be fine. Just breathe…come on that's right, breathe in and out. Good. I'll tell you what's going on, but you have to stay calm for me. Can you do that? Come on and lay back…okay, continue breathing with me…that's it…relax." Kensi intertwined her fingers with his to give him something more to hold on to. "Feel my fingers? I'm right here with you and there's nothing to worry about." She glanced up at the nurse and mouthed "Get the doctor in here, now!"

The nurse hurried out of the room to let the doctor know the patient was awake and agitated. Meanwhile, Kensi continued letting Deeks hold her other hand to try and stay calm while she scrambled to think of a way to begin telling him what was going on. She was praying with everything she had that the doctor would arrive before she had to tell him everything that had happened to him.

"What do you remember Deeks?"

"About what Kens? The last thing I remember is falling asleep in my bed." Deeks kept trying to see something because he knew his eyes were open but all he saw was black. There was no light, no shadows, just unrelieved black and it was freaking him out.

"Okay…don't worry about that…try to stay calm while I explain what has happened to you."

"Okay…I can do that…umm…like you said, I'm taking deep breaths…okay…I'm…I'm all right now. Tell me." Deeks whispered.

"Do you remember having a sinus infection?"

"No…really? That's why I'm in the hospital? Seriously? I get sinus infections all the time. That shouldn't have...wait…I do remember something…Hetty sent me home didn't she? But she wanted me to see a doctor first."

"That's good Deeks, you remembered. Yes, Hetty sent you to the doctor and then to go home and rest. You were supposed to stay home for three days per the doctor's instructions and take some antibiotics for the infection. However, you became really sick during the night and failed to call Hetty the next morning even after you told her you would. She got worried and sent me over to check on you. When I found you, you were burning up with a fever, so I called an ambulance and you were admitted to the hospital. You really scared me Deeks."

"I'm sorry Fern. How long have I been here?" he asked her.

Before Kensi had to decide what to tell him next, Dr. Jameson came into the room and introduced himself. "Hello Mr. Deeks. I'm Dr. Jameson and I've been your attending physician since you were admitted to the hospital. How are you feeling?"

"Scared…and confused…why is it so dark in here? Why doesn't someone turn on the lights…Wait…oh…no…God no…the lights aren't out are they. Oh my God…I'm blind aren't I?" Deeks began panicking and started struggling even harder to get out of bed. He was pulling at the monitors attached to his chest causing some of them to come lose and the alarm on the heart monitor to go off. Both Kensi and the doctor were having a hard time keeping him in bed or getting through to him and getting him calmed down. The doctor had anticipated Marty might panic when the nurse had paged him and told him his patient was awake and very agitated so had a syringe ready with a mild dose of Valium in it. While he and Kensi kept trying to calm Deeks down, the doctor had the nurse inject it into his IV line. After a few minutes it began working and Marty quit struggling to get out of bed. The nurse was able to reattach a couple of the monitor leads that had come loose then reset them and the machine. The sudden quiet in the room was a relief. Kensi could tell that Marty was still scared out of his mind. He was laying there in bed looking completely shattered. She noticed his lashes were wet with tears while a few had slipped down his face but she wasn't going to point that out because she didn't want him to be embarrassed. He was upset enough as it was.

"Mr. Deeks…Mr. Deeks…listen to me and calm down…that's right. Just relax and let me explain. Don't worry about your sight right now…Are you calmer?" Dr. Jameson asked even though he could tell by the monitors Deeks had calmed down.

"Yeah, I think so…yeah. Did…did you give me something?"

"Yes I did. It was a mild dose of Valium to help with your anxiety. I'm going to have the nurse take your temperature now. Please hold still." He motioned to the nurse to take his temperature and show it to him. "Your temperature is down to 102.5. This is good news Mr. Deeks. Are you ready to listen to me?"

Heaving a couple of deep sighs and trying very hard to remain calm, Marty finally whispered "Yes…I'm ready. And you can call me Marty."

"All right Marty. Here's what's been happening with you. The sinus infection you had caused a small brain abscess to form from the bacteria. That in turn developed into bacterial meningitis which caused your temperature to skyrocket. When you arrived at the hospital your temperature was 104.5 degrees and you had suffered two convulsions which are both symptoms of meningitis and other illnesses. Based on the symptoms you displayed and your medical records, I ordered an MRI and a lumbar puncture to determine a diagnosis and a course of treatment. Do you know what a lumbar puncture is?"

"Yes, it's a spinal tap. You do them when you are trying to identify a type of bacteria." Marty replied.

"Thats right. Anyway based on the results of the tests, we began treating you for the meningitis and the underlying sinus infection. After a few setbacks, the treatment is working. Your lower temperature is a good indicator that you're getting better. Meningitis causes swelling of the membranes around the brain. In your case the swelling is affecting your optic nerve which is why you can't see right now. Once the swelling resolves, you should get your sight back. Based on your most current MRI, the swelling is coming down so I'm confident that your sight will return within the next day or so. We're going to keep you here in ICU for at least one more day. We want to make sure you're still improving before we move you to a regular room."

Marty lay in bed trying to make sense of everything the doctor had just told him. He didn't realize he had been quiet for some time until the doctor asked "Marty, do you understand what I've told you?"

"Yes…I'm…I'm trying to make sense of it all. This was all caused by my sinus infection? I've had plenty of them before and never been sick like this. I usually get better within 10 days or so. Why was this time different?"

"I can't give you a good reason why you developed meningitis this time, when you've had other sinus infections without complications. It could be caused by a number of factors, but I don't think we need to worry about that right now. Now you need to concentrate on getting better and getting your strength back." Dr. Jameson was glad that Marty seemed to be handling the news of his illness as well as could be expected.

"So, I'm not going to be blind forever?" Marty desperately needed to be reassured by the doctor.

"I can't give you a 100 percent guarantee, but no, I don't think you're going to remain blind."

"Good…that's good…wait…you mentioned something about an abscess in my brain…are you going to have to operate?"

"Based on your current test results, I don't believe surgery will be needed. The antibiotics you're on are treating it along with the meningitis and sinus infection. We will be keeping an eye on it as well as all of your other symptoms. Just trust us to know what we're doing, okay Marty?"

"Okay. Thanks doc" Marty ran his hands through his hair as he tried to get more comfortable in the bed.

"I'll be back to see you tomorrow morning at which time we'll repeat the MRI. If you have any questions before then, please have the nurse page me. I don't want you worrying needlessly. Just rest and do what your told. Let your friends help you and try to maintain a good attitude. I've found that works wonders for ill patients." Dr. Jameson then left the room to attend to his other patients before he went home for the day.

Kensi had been so quiet, Marty had forgotten she was there. Once the doctor left the room, he began fidgeting and trying to wrap his head around everything he had been told. Thinking about what the doctor had said about friends, he whispered to himself "What friends…I don't really have any friends to help me." Kensi heard his soft whisper and it broke her heart to hear the sorrow and anguish in his voice.

She couldn't bear the thought that he really believed it. "Deeks, I'm your friend, aren't I?"

Marty jerked in the bed and turned his head toward the sound of Kensi's voice. "I forgot you were here. Are you my friend? I don't know...are you?" he whispered in confusion.

"Yes, I am. At least I want to be. I'm sorry if I've made you feel like I don't trust you or I don't want you as a friend or partner because its not true. I know you have my back. You've proven it to me. Do you think you can forgive me? I don't want you to leave me and go back to LAPD."

"Kens…I…thanks. I think I…I needed to…to hear you say it…that you're my friend. I've never had many friends so I treasure the ones I do have. I would like to have you as my friend. I will always have your back no matter what though, its what partners do." Marty was relieved that Kensi wasn't teasing him. He didn't think he could take it right now if she did.

"And I'll always have your back, partner." Kensi replied. She then reached over and took his hand in hers again.

"Fern, what are you doing? Are you trying to take advantage of me in my weakened state? If Sam and Callen see you, they might get the wrong impression." Marty quipped.

Kensi was never so glad to hear a quip from Deeks as she was right then. Maybe things would get better for him now. Smiling, she asked him "Do you want me to? Take advantage of you that is? Would it bother you if Sam and Callen got the wrong impression?" and couldn't help laughing when he blushed bright red. "Deeks, you're blushing!"

"No I'm not…I'm just hot…not hot like in sexy…I mean, just heat hot…shit…did I just say that…seriously?" Deeks was babbling.

"It's okay, Deeks. Maybe you need to stop now before you dig your hole any deeper," she laughed.

"Ha, ha…funny lady." he gave her a weak grin to let her know he knew she was only kidding. They lapsed into a comfortable silence with Kensi still holding his hand. It felt so good to Marty to feel that connection with her. He needed it with everything that he had just found out but wouldn't have been able to ask her to take his hand. Kensi could tell he was about to fall asleep again and she wanted him to rest, so she just kept rubbing her thumb over and around his hand to soothe him. It worked and within 5 minutes he was asleep. She marveled at how much younger he looked when he was sleeping. He had such an innocent air about him. She wondered if that was one of the reasons he was such a great undercover cop. Right now he also looked peaceful which was reassuring to her. As she sat there watching him, she slipped into sleep as well.

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	14. Chapter 14: More Fever

Here's a nice long chapter for you. Marty and Kensi are continuing to talk. Will Marty forgive her completely?

I still don't own NCIS the mores the pity. My minions are hiding and wringing their little hands over the injustice of it all.

Enjoy.

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Marty slept for most of the afternoon with Kensi either napping with him or watching over him. Hetty had called to say she would stop by that evening to see Marty and asked Kensi for an update on him.

"He's really scared Hetty. He's trying to hide it but I can tell. He's so afraid he's going to be blind. He couldn't see anything when he woke up and he panicked. The doctor had to give him a mild sedative before he could explain everything to him. He seems to be handling it as well as can be expected, but he is more scared than he wants to admit. I think we were able to reassure him, but I'm not sure. The doctor told him what was causing the blindness and that he should be able to see in a day or so. Deeks and I talked after the doctor left. I tried to make sure he knows I trust him and want to keep him as a partner. It seemed to help some and he's sleeping peacefully right now."

"I'm sure you being there for him meant the world to him Miss Blye. Thank you for taking my comments yesterday to heart and letting your partner know you trust him. He needs to believe it if we are going to keep him from going back to the LAPD."

"But Hetty, I feel so guilty. I can't believe he thanked me for being here for him. He should be so angry with me, but he doesn't seem to be. I've been horrible to him; the nicer he is to me the more I see just how horrible I've been, but I don't know how to make it up to him."

"Right now, you have to concentrate on helping him, not thinking about how guilty you feel. Put aside your own feelings and take care of him and encourage him. It's what he needs right now. You might think he's forgiven you and he probably has, but I'm sure he's still carrying a lot of hurt and anger about things and also feeling very unsure of himself and his future. If you feel like you need to do more to show him how sorry you are, wait until he's ready to hear it. Right now he needs to concentrate on getting better," Hetty wanted Kensi to realize that Mr. Deeks health was all that should concern her for now.

"You're right Hetty, it's not about me right now, it's about making sure Deeks knows he's not alone and we're all rooting for him."

"Don't forget to take care of yourself as well. We don't need you collapsing now do we?"

"I'm eating Hetty and resting when Deeks is sleeping so I'm good."

"I'll see you later then, Miss Blye."

Kensi felt better a little better after talking to Hetty. She had been able to unload some of her worries and guilt on the older woman and was surprised at how much it had helped. Looking over at Deeks, she could tell that he was still resting comfortably. She was beginning to relax with the thought that he was on the mend when things took another turn for the worse.

About 5 pm, Kensi noticed him becoming restless again and moaning softly. She immediately pushed the call button then felt his forehead. Damn it! He was burning up again. The nurse arrived in the room just as Marty experienced another convulsion. It was the first one Kensi had seen and it freaked her out. She backed away from the bed so she wouldn't be in anyone's way wringing her hands and thinking how unfair it was that he just couldn't seem to catch a break! The nurse paged the doctor and medical staff so in a couple of minutes the room was swarming with doctors and nurses. Marty was whisked away for more medical procedures which left Kensi alone in the room. She called Hetty and let her know that Deeks had taken a turn for the worse and had suffered another convulsion. Hetty assured her that she and the team would be there as soon as possible.

By the time the team arrived, Kensi was frantic to hear something about Marty's condition. The orderly had brought him back to his room and before Kensi could totally lose it she saw Dr. Jameson coming down the hall. "I see you're all here. Marty spiked another high fever and experienced an additional convulsion. This is a set-back in his recovery, but we have it under control. We found some scrapes on his back that were infected. They were missed when he was first admitted. We've added another drug to his IV and his temperature is already coming down. Its at 102.5 now, so he should be awake again soon. When we found the scrapes on his back, we examined him from head to toe to make sure there was nothing else lurking that might cause a problem."

"Thank you again Dr. Jameson. I know he has been a challenge to your team. I'm just glad you were able to get a handle on this set-back so quickly." Hetty replied.

The team looked at each other and then turned to Hetty. "Who is going to stay with Deeks tonight?" Callen asked.

"I am" replied Kensi daring any of them to try to talk her out of it.

"Are you sure your up to it my dear? It's been a long trying day for you." Hetty knew Kensi would be more comfortable watching over Mr. Deeks but wanted to give her the option of going home if she needed to.

"Yes, I'm up for it, I've been napping off and on while he's been sleeping. Besides, I want to do it. I'm his partner and I know he would do it for me. I was able to talk to him after the doctor explained everything. We even engaged in a little banter which resulted in a joke and a small smirk from him," she replied.

"That's got to be a good sign, don't you think?" Callen asked. "When he's making jokes, he's usually in a good place."

"I hope so. He was really freaked out by not being able to see. I hope he remembers what the doctor told him and can stay positive about the eventual outcome."

"Kens, what would you like to eat? I'll bring you something before I go home."

"I'm not hungry right now since I was able to grab some lunch, but a sandwich and some juice sounds good for a little later."

Rubbing her hands briskly together, Hetty told Kensi to keep her informed and to call if she needed anything. She took a moment and brushed Marty's hair away from his face while whispering something to him none of the others could hear. She then gathered Sam and Callen and they left. Callen called back over his shoulder, "I'll be back in a few minutes with that food for you Kens"

"Thanks Callen."

After taking a couple of deep breaths, Kensi took another good look at Marty. He was resting comfortably again but she wanted to see him awake. She wanted to see his blue eyes whether he could see her or not and hear his voice. Until that happened, she would continue to worry about him. Callen returned a little later with her food. He even brought her some Twinkies. She thanked him and grabbed one, stuffing it in her mouth and giving a low moan of pleasure "I see you're enjoying the Twinkie." Callen laughed.

"It's yummy. I needed this. Thanks again Callen, I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"Well, I brought you twelve. You think they'll last until morning?"

"Of course they will", she said between bites of her second one. "I'll ration them." She stuck her tongue out at him as he turned to go home. "See you tomorrow."

Callen just laughed at her "Take care Kens."

~,~,~

Kensi had finished the sandwich as well as two more Twinkies then washed up. While she was drying her hands she realized that Marty was beginning to move around in bed again and seemed about to wake up. She went back to his side and captured his hand. His lashes were fluttering and she could tell that his eyes were moving beneath his eyelids. "Marty, I'm here. Everything's fine. Are you going to wake up for me?"

Once again, he turned his head toward the sound of her voice as he tried to wake up. It took a few minutes, but eventually his eyes opened. She was disappointed when she realized that he still wasn't able to see, but she wasn't going to say anything that might upset him. "Hello there. It's about time you woke up. You've been sleeping all afternoon."

"I still can't see Kens" he whispered in a heartbroken tone of voice.

"What did the doctor tell you Deeks? You just have to be patient, rest, do what you're told and have faith in your doctor. Your sight will return. I know it will." She vowed she would do everything she could to keep his spirits up and his attitude positive. It was the least she could do for him. She didn't want him to feel like he was all alone again. Trying to come up with something to take his mind off of his blindness, she mentioned "Did I tell you that when Sam was here he told me he helped the good-looking nurse taking care of you give you a sponge bath?"

"Sam helped the nurse...really...I'll never be able to look him in the eyes again. Kill me now." Marty couldn't believe Sam would do something like that for him and not make him pay later.

"Don't worry Deeks. Sam told me he was glad to help. It make him feel a little better being able to do something for you. He's been feeling guilty over the way he's treated you too. Anyway, you want me to get that nurse's number for you?...oh wait, she's married," Kensi laughed.

"Really…that's mean Kens. I get a sponge bath but I wasn't even awake so it doesn't count…unless you want to give me one now?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her causing her to laugh again.

"In your dreams Deeks, in your dreams!"

Before their banter could get out of hand, the nurse came into the room to check on Marty. "Mr. Deeks, I see you're awake. Is there anything I can do for you to make you more comfortable?"

"Call me Marty. I'm a little thirsty. Can I have something to drink?"

"How about a little apple juice and we'll see how you tolerate it?"

"Okay, thanks."

Kensi watched Marty sip his apple juice. She could tell by the look on his face that he was thinking about everything that had happened to him and trying to put it into some kind of perspective. He was frowning and absolutely silent again which worried her because a silent Marty Deeks was not a happy Marty Deeks. She wondered again exactly what he was thinking about and opened her mouth to ask him when he looked toward where he thought she was and whispered "What if I don't get my eyesight back, Kens? What am I going to do? I can't be a cop or your partner if I can't see."

She squeezed his hand and replied "It will get better, I promise. Do you believe me Deeks?"

"I want to but…um…" he quit talking again not wanting to expose his fears to her. He didn't want her to tease him again and certainly didn't want her to call him a 'big baby'. He didn't think she would but wasn't sure if he could trust her not to. He knew he would lose it completely if she did and he was maintaining control over his emotions by a thread as it was. "Kens…" he sighed and tried to continue but just couldn't.

"Deeks, you can tell me anything. You won't regret it. Trust me, please," she tried to reassure him because she knew how worried and anxious he was. "I promise whatever you tell me will stay between the two of us. I won't say anything to Sam or Callen." She would keep her promise too, especially now when she knew he didn't feel like part of the team and was thinking about quitting. Callen had been way out of line a couple of days ago and thinking back on it, Kensi knew she should have said something immediately to back up her partner. What Callen had said had wounded him deeply and Kensi was ashamed she hadn't spoken up in Deeks' defense.

"I'm…I'm scared Kens. I'm so scared…I don't know if I can handle all this," the anguish in his voice was palpable and his eyes were full of unshed tears. Kensi's heart went out to him. All she could think to do was to take his hand again and brush his hair away from his eyes.

"I know you're scared. I would be too…actually I am. I don't want another partner. You see, there's this scruffy looking surfer who talks all the time and calls me all kinds of cheesy nicknames. He's the only partner I want. I trust him to watch my back and he's never let me down. And if I know anything at all about him, I know he'll handle this. He's a lot tougher and braver than he thinks he is."

"Really…you're serious…you trust me? Wow...I didn't think I'd ever hear you admit that." Marty was floored by her admission, but the more he thought about it the better it made him feel. He had been alone for so long without anyone close to him so hearing her say she trusted him to have her back meant the world to him even with all the doubts he was currently harboring. "You think I'm brave and tough, huh. Does Fern have a little crush on Marty, you think?" he smirked.

"Maybe, Deeks. But I bet she never tells Marty one way or the other." Kensi snickered.

"Seriously Fern? What a way to hurt a man."

~,~,~

The nurse returned to the room to check on how Marty had handled the juice. He thanked her again for it and said it felt good to be able to drink something. She asked how he was feeling and he told her he wasn't feeling nauseous and hadn't felt like throwing up since finishing it. As she was checking his vitals, Dr. Jameson made another appearance to see how he was doing.

"I still can't see anything doc. I keep trying but it's still just black."

"I'm going to cover your eyes so you don't strain them trying to see every time you open your eyes."

"But doc, how will I know when I can see if my eyes are covered?" Marty did not want to have bandages over his eyes. Not being able to see was bad enough, but having his eyes covered brought back memories he would just as soon never recall.

"It's only temporary, Marty. When I check on you tomorrow, we'll take them off to see if your sight has begun to return. This is just a precaution because sometimes, a person is trying so hard to see, they actually strain their eyes and prolong their recovery time. You want to get your sight back as soon as possible, right? This will help."

"Okay, you're the doctor so I'm trusting you know what you're doing." he gave a little smile.

"Thank you Marty, you won't regret it." He turned to the nurse and asked her to get some bandages to use. When she returned with them, he began covering Marty's eyes while explaining. "This is gauze I'm using to cover your eyes." As he finished covering Marty's eyes, he continued. "Now for some good news. Your temperature is down to 101.5 which is much better than when you first arrived. I've scheduled an MRI for tomorrow morning and I'm confident it will show marked improvement. I may not have to schedule another lumbar puncture. I'll only do so if it is absolutely necessary. Now some even better news. The nurse informs me that you've been able to drink some apple juice. How would you like to try some soft food and see how it agrees with you?"

"That would be great!"

"Okay, I'll have the nurse order you some clear broth, jello and some more juice. If you handle that well, we'll have you on a soft diet tomorrow." Dr. Jameson informed him.

"I can't wait for tomorrow."

"Get some sleep, Marty. It's the best thing for you right now." With that Dr Jameson left the room.

"See Marty, I told you everything would be okay." Kensi squeezed his hand to let him know she was happy for him.

"Yeah, you did."

They spent the next hour or so talking about cases they had worked together on, shows they liked, favorite movies and other inconsequential things while Deeks ate some broth, and juice. By tacit agreement, they didn't talk about any uncomfortable subjects. He gave Kensi the jello because the little he had managed to eat filled him up. They enjoyed each other's company and the fact Marty had turned the corner and was finally getting better. Now they had to hope that nothing else would go wrong for him. It had been days of unending worry on Kensi's part and they both looked forward to happier times. Before long, Marty began losing his battle to stay awake. He didn't want Kensi to leave, but was afraid to ask her to stay. When she noticed he was fighting sleep, she leaned over him and whispered in his ear "Go to sleep Deeks. I'll be here when you wake up. Promise".

It was all he needed to hear to slip into sleep. Kensi wasn't far behind him to seek out the cot and lay down to sleep the night away after pulling it as close as she could to his bed so she could still hold his hand.

~,~,~


	15. Chapter 15:Getting Better

I feel like a broken record, but must admit, again, that NCIS Los Angeles does not belong to me. More's the pity. I do get to play with them though. I promise to return them in the same condition I borrowed them.

Marty is finally on the mend. It's about time, don't you think?

Enjoy.

~,~,~

Day four dawned bright and clear even if Marty couldn't tell since his eyes were bandaged. As he began to wake up, he realized he didn't have a headache. He thought it was the first time in a very long time that his head didn't hurt. He began to think that he might truly be getting better. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he realized that someone still had hold of his hand. Listening as hard as he could, he finally heard a little snort snore that made him think it was Kensi. He remembered she said she would be there when he woke up, and it made him feel good to know that she was still there and still making sure that he knew he wasn't alone. He basked in the feelings it gave him. _"Wow, she stayed all night like she promised me. No wonder I slept so well. I wish I could get over the feelings of doubt I still have about her sincerity though. They're still there. __I keep expecting her to put me down somehow but she hasn't. _She's been so good to me since I've been here and awake. I guess it's just going to take some more time." His feelings of doubt and uncertainty about everyones' motives made him feel uncomfortable but he had become so unsure of his place on the team and what they really thought about him, that he couldn't make them go away at the drop of a hat.

As he lay there thinking about everything that had happened to him, he heard someone coming into his room. He turned his head toward the noise and asked "Is someone there?"

A woman with a pleasant voice greeted him with a "Good morning Mr. Deeks. I have your breakfast here. I'm your nurse for this shift. My name is Paula."

"Hi Paula, you can call me Marty. Breakfast huh...um…I'm not sure how I'm supposed to eat breakfast" he said pointing to the bandages covering his eyes.

"I can feed it to you if you want me to or we can try something else if you trust me" she smiled in reply.

"Seriously?…well I'd rather feed myself if I can…what did you have in mind for me to try?"

"First let me put the tray on the bed table. Can you feel the table now that I've moved it into place?" she asked.

"Yes." Marty replied as he put his hands on the table in question.

"I've put the tray with your breakfast in the middle of the table. Give me your hand and I'll show you where everything is."

Marty held his hand out and the nurse moved it so he could feel where the tray was. "The juice this morning is orange juice. It's in a carton on the upper right side of the tray. It has a straw in it to make it easier for you to drink it without spilling. Your fork is also on the right side below the juice carton. The lower half of the tray has scrambled eggs and bacon in it and there is toast on the upper left. Do you want me to butter the toast for you?" As she was telling him where everything was she was moving his hand to each item in turn.

"Butter would be nice, Thank you"

Paula buttered the toast and then asked "Are you ready to feed yourself now?"

"Sure…here goes nothing," he replied as he reached slowly for the carton first and took a drink. When he found he was able to do that without making a mess, it encouraged him to try and pick up the scrambled eggs with the fork but he had some trouble doing so. He decided he needed his other hand to help get the eggs onto the fork so he gently pulled it out of Kensi's grasp.

Kensi stirred as she felt him pull his hand away from hers and began to wake up. Yawning, she asked in a sleepy voice. "What's going on? Do you need something Deeks?"

"I need both hands to eat my breakfast Kensi."

"Oh...it's morning all ready?" She sleepily replied as she finally pried her eyes open to take a good look at her surroundings. "I can help you with your breakfast if you need me to."

"Let me see how well I do by myself first." Marty didn't like feeling so helpless and wanted to at least be able to feed himself. Kensi and the nurse looked at each other in silent agreement to let him try.

"I think you're doing fine on your own Marty, so I'll be back in a few minutes. If you need me, just push the call button, okay? I've put it right next to your side." Paula placed the button next to him so he could feel it and then left the room.

"Okay" Marty replied as he finally got a bite of the scrambled eggs to his mouth. Once he swallowed the first bite of egg, he asked Kensi "So just how much of a mess am I making here?"

"None…you're doing fine Deeks. Don't worry about it and just take your time." She was glad he seemed to be in good spirits this morning. A few bits of scrambled egg on his gown didn't matter. It was good to see him trying and succeeding in feeding himself. It took him some time, but he managed to finish his breakfast with very little mess. It made him feel better to be able to do something besides laying in the bed feeling sorry for himself and actually eating solid food for a change was nice. Now if he could only get the bandages off his eyes and see again he would feel a whole lot better. He was already getting impatient for the doctor to get there.

Once he finished eating, Kensi gave him a wet cloth to wipe his face and hands and then moved the tray away from the bed. "You did really well Deeks."

"Yeah, I can actually feed myself. Will wonders never cease." He snorted. "What's it look like outside? Is it a nice day?"

"I don't know, I haven't been out yet. When the doctor comes to take you down for the MRI, I'm going to get something to eat and go home to shower and change. I'll be back by the time your back in your room."

"It's okay Kensi, I'm fine by myself. Thanks for staying last night but you don't have to stay with me all day too."

"It's what partners and friends do, Deeks. I'm staying," Kensi was trying to think of something she could tell Deeks to take his mind off the wait for the doctor to check his eyesight when she remembered she hadn't yet told him about Sam watching Monty. "Oh, I forgot to tell you about Monty."

"What about Monty? He's okay isn't he? He hasn't been alone all this time has he?" Marty felt terrible about forgetting Monty. He hadn't even thought about him he had been so sick and then so worried about his eyesight.

"Monty's fine Deeks. He's being taken care of; he's staying with Sam and his family. Hetty and Mrs. Hanna ganged up on Sam until he agreed he could stay with them until you're home. He's having the time of his life with Sam's kids. He's being well taken care of even though he's missing you."

"Sam's watching Monty? Really?" Deeks snickered at the picture that conjured in his mind.

Dr. Jameson came into the room while Kensi was telling Deeks about Monty and waited until she finished her story before announcing himself. "Are you ready to get the bandages off and see if your sight is returning Marty?"

"Yes, I can't wait." he replied.

After turning down the light in the room, Dr. Jameson removed the bandages from Marty's eyes. "Give it a minute before you open your eyes. Then open them slowly and tell me what you see. I've darkened the room quite a bit to reduce any unnecessary strain on your eyes. You may only see light and shadows at first which is perfectly normal and means that the swelling is going down and putting less pressure on your optic nerve." Marty was feeling a bit anxious but concentrated on what the doctor was telling him. When he felt he was ready, he opened his eyes slowly like the doctor told him to. At first he couldn't see anything, but then he began to notice that some areas were lighter than others, and he could tell there were some different sized shadowy shapes as he looked around.

"I see some shadowy shapes and there are some brighter areas, but nothing is clear." he told the doctor.

"That's good Marty. It means I was right and your sight will get clearer and sharper over the next several days as the swelling continues to go down. I'm going to put the bandages back on your eyes now just so you don't strain them. We'll take them off once more during the day to check your progress. Now, are you ready for what I hope is your last MRI? If it looks good, we'll be moving you to a regular room this afternoon."

"When can I go home?" Marty was ready to get out of the hospital, the sooner the better.

"Slow down a little bit Marty. You'll be here for a few more days. You're on the mend, but you're not out of the woods completely yet. We have to be sure that the infection is completely gone before we let you go home."

"Can I at least get out of bed and go to the bathroom on my own?" Marty started blushing as he continued "Um…I would…um…like to…um…well you know what I mean" he sighed as he waved his hand in front of his groin area. Kensi wanted to laugh at the look on Marty's face but knew it wouldn't be kind and he would be even more embarrassed than he already was so she kept quiet.

"How about we wait until we get you in a regular room before we worry about that. You do realize that you're going to be very weak and will need help walking for a while, right?" Dr. Jameson could tell Marty was going to be one of those patients that didn't like taking things slow and easy and would push themselves too hard if not reigned in. "You were in critical condition when you arrived here four days ago and you don't want to have a relapse do you?" he asked him.

Marty hadn't been aware of how critically ill he had been so what the doctor said gave him pause. Thinking about the seriousness of the situation he had been in and was still recovering from he replied. "No doc, I don't want to have a relapse. I'll try my best to be patient."

"I'll make sure of it Dr. Jameson" Kensi piped up. "I know just how to handle my partner."

"Are you saying you want to handle me Fern? Really?" Deeks laughed. It was so good to hear him laugh and if she could have seen his eyes, she knew they would have been sparkling with mischief. Kensi hadn't been sure she would ever hear the sound of his laughter again just a few days ago and it was a very welcome sound. It relieved some of her worries about his condition.

"Maybe when you're feeling better Deeks. But you'll have to be a very good boy and do what your told or you'll never find out," she cautioned him with a smile.

Their conversation was interrupted when the orderly arrived to take Marty down for his MRI. While they were getting him ready, Kensi told him again that she would be back by the time he was returned to his room and left the hospital to get her errands done and let the team know that Deeks' sight was coming back. She also told them he would be transferred to a regular room if the MRI looked good. Everyone heaved huge sighs of relief when Kensi's news reached them. They had all been worried that he would be permanently blind and some of the guilt San and Callen were carrying was relieved by the news that he was regaining his sight.

~,~,~

Marty was back in his room when Kensi returned from her errands. She let him know that the team had been very relieved to hear about his eyesight and they were all rooting for him. He looked at her in confusion and then asked "Who's been worried about me? You're the only one whose been here."

"That's not true Deeks. We've all been taking turns staying with you. That is all except Eric because he's been stuck in OPS helping Renko's team, but he asks about you all the time." she assured him. "Callen has been here every day and he stayed with you half of the first night. You've usually been asleep when he's been here though. Remember, I told you Sam is watching Monty and he stayed with you part of the second day you were here. They all ask about you every time I call the Mission. Hetty's been here as often as she can get away from OSP. Even Nell's been here."

"But why do any of them bother? Callen and Sam think I'm a screw-up. I would think they'd be glad to be rid of me. I know Nell and Eric don't think that but they're just work colleagues. I know Hetty likes me but she's so busy. I don't understand why she would spend time here when I wasn't even awake." Marty couldn't believe what he was hearing Kensi say. After all that had gone down just before he got sick, he didn't think anyone would care if he left, so why did they care he was sick? It didn't make sense and he couldn't wrap his mind around what Kensi was telling him.

He was surprised Kensi was being as supportive as she was, not that he was complaining. He treasured the fact she had said she wanted to be his friend although he was still feeling very unsure of himself and what he she kept telling him. Kensi had promised to stay with him and had done so, keeping her word. He was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt because of that and let down his guard a little bit with her but he wasn't ready to let down his guard around Sam or Callen. He also couldn't understand why the others were worried about him either. Maybe if his self-esteem hadn't taken such a mauling just before he got sick, he wouldn't have so many doubts, but it had and he still wasn't sure where he stood with anyone. He knew that Hetty worried about him, but then she worried about all of her teams, but the others were a surprise and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Were they just putting on an act because he was sick? "Everyone was really worried about me?"

"Yes they were. Sam and Callen have been feeling really guilty about the way they've been treating you too. We all have. You're important to the team Deeks. We just haven't been doing a very good job of showing it to you." Kensi would keep reassuring him as many times as he needed it. She didn't want him quitting because he thought he wasn't wanted.

~,~,~

Later that afternoon, Dr. Jameson came in and gave Marty good news. The abscess was gone and the MRI looked great.

"Does that mean I get to get out of here?" Marty asked

"If by here, you mean ICU and into a regular room, that's a yes Marty" the doctor replied.

"That's what I meant. Wow…great…I'm actually looking forward to it. What about…you know…" he waved his hand toward his groin blushing furiously for the second time that day.

"Why don't we wait until tomorrow and then we'll get you up and see how you do walking?"

"Okay," Marty sighed. He couldn't wait to get rid of the catheter.

"The orderlies will be here shortly to take you to your new room. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

~,~,~


	16. Chapter 16: Visitors

Once again, I must accept the fact that I don't own NCIS Los Angeles. My minions are trying to get their fingers and toes uncrossed since they've finally given up wishing their dream of owning the show would come true.

What's going to happen now? Sam and Callen are finally visiting an awake Deeks.

Reviews are always welcome.

Enjoy.

~,~,~

While Marty was getting settled in his regular room, Kensi was in the cafeteria talking to Hetty by phone and sharing the good news with her, Nell and Eric in OSP. "Hetty, he was so excited just to be getting out of ICU. You should have seen him. He was like a little boy at Christmas. I've got to say it was good to see him so cheerful and looking so much better than he did a few days ago. It was fun to watch." Kensi reported.

"You'll find Miss Blye, that it doesn't take much to make Mr. Deeks happy. He appreciates any small kindness someone shows him."

"I'm beginning to realize that. After I see him in his regular room, I'll call you with the room number. All I know right now is that it will be on the sixth floor. Hetty, I was thinking, do you think Callen and Sam could come visit with Deeks for a while so that I can go home, shower and do some errands?"

"Of course Miss Blye. I can stay with Mr. Deeks, but I believe you have a reason for requesting Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna come for a visit, don't you?" Hetty knew her agents very well and she knew why Kensi had specifically asked for Callen and Sam to visit Marty. She had to decide if it was the right choice for Marty at this time though before she would agree, so waited for Kensi to reply.

"Yes, I do. I never realized just how unsure Deeks feels about his place on the team and I think it would be good for Sam and Callen to reinforce the fact that he is one of us and a valued member of our team. We were talking earlier and he thought I was the only one who had come to see him since he's been here. He couldn't believe anyone had been worried about him and had taken turns visiting him. He didn't say so, but I think he felt he wasn't worth the effort. I tried to reassure him, but I don't know if I got through to him or not. I've told him repeatedly that everyone has visited him, but I think it will do him a world of good to actually see someone other than just me. Right now all he has is my word that the others have visited and I think he's afraid to believe it. I understand why he is so unsure of me. It's my fault and I'm doing the best I can to make it up to him." Kensi tried to explain her reasons for asking Sam and Callen to be the ones to visit.

"I believe your idea has merit. I'll send Sam and Callen over as soon as we get the room number so they'll be there when you want to leave."

~,~,~

Kensi finished her snack, then left the cafeteria and went up to the sixth floor to find that Deeks had already been settled in his room for a while and was resting. She called and let Hetty know the room number, then went in to tell him he was going to have some visitors while she ran some errands and went home for a while. "Are you all settled in?" she asked first.

"Yes, I'm so glad to be out of ICU. Now I just have to get well enough to go home. I can't wait to get out of here. I miss Monty. I miss the ocean. I hate being cooped up in these four walls." He was very fidgety and was running his hands through his hair in between adjusting the blanket and sheet covering him. Kensi could tell something was bothering him by his tone of voice and was determined to find out what.

"I know you do, but he's being well taken care of and you'll be home and back in the ocean before you know it. I just talked to Hetty and guess what, Sam and Callen are on their way over for a visit. They'll be staying here while I run out to do some errands and go home for a shower."

Deeks looked up toward where he thought she was and then back down and began picking at the blanket. "That's not necessary. I'll be okay by myself while you're gone."

"I know you'll be okay, but I don't want you to be alone and worrying about everything that is going on. It's not good for your recovery." She took one of his hands to stop his picking and continued. "You need to concentrate on getting well, partner. I miss you."

"Do you really miss me Kensi or are you just saying that because I've been ill?" He sounded so unsure of himself, Kensi's heart clenched with guilt once again. God what she would give to go back and do some things over. But since that was impossible, she was going to make sure he knew now that she trusted him and missed him.

"Yes, I really miss you. Who else calls me cheesy names and drives me wild when I'm trying to do my paperwork?"

"Well paperwork is boring, I have to stay awake somehow. Besides, I thought you liked the nicknames I call you Fern."

"I'll never tell. So, about Sam and Callen visiting while I'm gone. Are you okay with it?"

"I don't know if I want to see them" he whispered as he went back to picking at the blanket covering him.

"Why Deeks? I thought you would enjoy the company. I know they're looking forward to seeing you now that you're awake." Kensi was beginning to think she had made a mistake. _"What is he worried about? Is he afraid Callen will yell at him, or is he afraid that he'll lose his temper again and yell at Callen? Should I call the visit off?"_ She could always call Sam and Callen and tell them not to come and if Deeks really didn't want to see them, then that was what she was going to do. She would let him decide who he let visit him and when.

"Kens...I don't...I don't want them to see me like this…with bandages over my eyes. I don't need their pity…and…um…I don't want them to feel like they have to be nice to me just because I'm 'blind'. It's not like I won't be getting my sight back, it's already improving. But right now...I won't even be able to see them!" Marty was feeling more frustrated by the minute and ran his hands through his hair again before going back to the blanket picking. He wasn't sure what he wanted or what to do but knew he didn't want to hurt Kensi's feelings either which is what had him so frustrated. And if he was being truthful with himself, he really wasn't sure if he did want to see them.

"They're not going to pity you, I promise. I already told them your sight is coming back so they know you're not blind. And I told them about the bandages covering your eyes so you don't strain them. They really do want to see you."

Marty lay there thinking about the upcoming visit for so long, Kensi began to worry she was putting too much stress on him which he certainly didn't need right then. She could tell how nervous he was by the way he was continuing to pick at the blanket covering him and running his hands through his hair every so often. "Do you want me to call them and tell them to hold off until tomorrow before they visit you? I can do that if you want me to," she stated.

"What?…seriously…you'd do that for me, really?" Deeks was surprised once again. Raising his head he turned toward the sound of her voice. "I didn't think I had a choice in the matter. It's not like I can get up and walk out of here any time I want to."

"You do have a choice; and yes, I will…in a heartbeat if that's what you want right now." Kensi hoped he didn't take her up on her offer, but if it was what he wanted she was ready to tell Callen and Sam to wait. No one wanted to see him leave and return to the LAPD and they were all trying their hardest to convince him to stay at NCIS. It was their fault after all that he felt like he didn't belong. If he would agree to see Sam and Callen it would be a good start to convincing him they all wanted him as part of their team but whether it happened today or tomorrow wasn't as important as how Deeks was feeling.

Once again Marty was confused by the way Kensi was acting. So much had happened so quickly it felt like his head was spinning…well more than just because he was sick that is. Kensi wasn't being her usual Kensi self which was confusing as hell to him but felt good at the same time. She was being nice to him and staying with him so he wouldn't be alone, but more importantly, she was keeping her promises to him. Trusting people was hard for him because in his experience, very few people lived up to his trust. The fact that Kensi had…so far…lived up to his trust in her since all of this started, made him feel good, but also confused and frightened him for some reason. As he continued wrestling with his thoughts he was shocked to find she was becoming important to him and he realized his feelings for her made him vulnerable. He didn't like feeling vulnerable because it reminded him of his childhood and when he had been unable to protect himself or his mother. When he opened himself up by trusting some one, he made himself vulnerable to being hurt…badly…and he had already been through enough hurt to last his entire lifetime. He didn't need to experience any more.

_"Dare I open myself up to Kensi and trust that she won't betray me? So far she hasn't but if she does, it will ruin everything between us and devastate me. I won't be able to stay if she betrays my trust again,"_ he thought. _"Can I open myself up to Sam and Callen as well, especially after everything that's transpired between us…even a little?"_

"Earth to Deeks" Kensi reached over and took his hand trying to get his attention. "Do you want me to call them and tell them to hold off on the visit until tomorrow?"

"Wha…what did you say?" Marty had been so focused on his thoughts he had forgotten Kensi was in the room.

"I said do you want me to tell Callen and Sam to wait until tomorrow to visit?"

Deciding to show Kensi a little more trust, Marty replied "No…it's okay…I can handle seeing them today. Thanks for giving me the option though." As he came back to the situation in the room more fully, he noticed that Kensi was holding his hand "What's this?" he asked holding their intertwined hands up. "Are you holding my hand Fern?"

"Well I had to get your attention somehow didn't I?" she smiled at him even though he couldn't see it.

"Sure Fern, sure. I think you just wanted to be near me." he smirked at her.

Kensi was glad he was trying to engage in some banter, but could tell he was struggling to pull it off, so she humored him. "Yeah, I did want to hold your hand, partner. You got a problem with that?"

Marty blushed "No...uh...I don't…I don't have a problem with it," he stammered.

"Good"

~,~,~

Sam and Callen arrived for their visit about 15 minutes later. As they approached Deeks' room, Sam was in front while Callen hung back slightly. He wasn't sure what his reception was going to be like but he didn't want to see Deeks upset. Seeing him so very sick a few days ago had scared Callen more than he wanted to admit. He didn't do emotions well. In fact, they scared him so he tried to keep his distance from them. He was never sure what his reaction should be when things got too emotional around him. His upbringing hadn't been conducive to making connections with other people which made it even harder for him to express himself when his emotions were involved. All he knew at the moment was that seeing Deeks deathly ill had unnerved him and made him want to make amends to the younger man. He didn't have a clue what it meant in terms of how he felt about the man.

"Hey Deeks. You're looking a lot better than the last time we saw you. How are you feeling?" Sam was relieved to see Deeks looking as good as he did.

"Sam, that you? Is Callen with you?"

"Hey Deeks, it's Callen. We're here to keep you company while Kensi runs some errands. You up for a visit?" Callen wasn't sure if he wanted Deeks to say yes or no to the visit.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I could use the company. Not much to do except lay here in this bed. I can't even read." Both men winced at Deeks reminder of his continuing blindness but before they could say anything he continued. "At least I'm starting to see light and shadows. The doctor says my sight should be back to normal in a few days. The bandages are there so I don't strain my eyes trying too hard to see."

"That's great to hear." came the dual replies.

Kensi spoke up at that point "Deeks, I'll be back a little later. Sam and Callen, play nice. Deeks, don't give the guys too hard a time okay? Do you want me to bring you anything when I return?"

"I'll be good Fern." came the quip from Deeks which put a smile on everyones' face. "Could you bring me a soy latte, if it's not a big deal?"

"One soy latte coming up. See you later Deeks." Kensi looked at Sam and Callen with a stern look on her face. "Don't upset him or you'll have to deal with me" she mouthed to both of them receiving two salutes back. She stuck her tongue out at them as she left the room causing them both to laugh and Deeks to wonder what was going on.

"What did Kens do now?"

"Nothing Deeks." Sam replied. "She was just giving us her stern marine glare as she left. And then she stuck her tongue out. You know the glare we're talking about don't you? It's the one where you know you should immediately protect the family jewels because she looks like she's gotten the idea in her head to kick you right in the nom de plumes."

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	17. Chapter 17: Confrontation

Uh oh, there's an elephant in Deeks' hospital room and he has something to say to Sam and Callen.

I still don't own NCIS Los Angeles. I also don't have a beta so any and all errors are mine and mine alone.

Here's a treat for you, another new chapter. I've been home on medical leave and was able to get this one ready sooner than I expected so decided to post it a day early.

Enjoy.

~,~,~

Recap from previous chapter:

Callen finished. "…You know, the one where you know you should immediately protect the family jewels because she looks like she's gotten the idea in her head to kick you right in the nom de plumes."

~,~,~

"Oh…that one huh…yeah...that look's scary all right." Deeks gave a little laugh and then continued "So I hear you're taking care of Monty for me Sam. How's he doing?"

Sam launched into a detailed account of how Monty was doing, the routine he was on, how he was enjoying playing in Sam's backyard and all the attention his kids were showing him. He told Deeks he knew there was definitely a dog in his future because there would be a rebellion in his home if he didn't get a dog once Monty was back with his owner. His kids loved Monty and kept him well entertained and fed. On his part, Monty let the girls play dress-up with him and was very patient with them. Sam let him know that Monty was missing him though, ending with "He's a pretty good dog once you get to know him. You've got him well trained Deeks."

"Thanks for taking care of him. I would hate to think of him being placed in a shelter while I'm here." Deeks knew that Hetty and Michelle had coerced Sam into taking Monty in the first place, so was somewhat surprised at what Sam was telling him. He was thinking _"Is this guy for real? He sounds like he's glad to be helping me and he actually said I did something right. He **never** says I do anything right, so why now?"_

Sam seemed to be enjoying taking care of Monty, and to hear him talk now, you would think it had been his idea in the first place. As with everything else that had been going on around Deeks since he got sick, Sam's attitude confused him, but it also angered him. This was the man who constantly put him down and didn't think he was serious enough to be part of NCIS let alone part of his team, but he was taking care of his dog and enjoying it. _"How does this even happen in real life? This is like some kind of a twisted sitcom on TV."_ he thought as Sam continued talking about taking care of Monty. His anger finally won out over his desire to keep things light and friendly and he blurted out "Why are you taking care of him for me? You don't even like me and you've never liked Monty. So why the friendly act? What's in it for you?" With that question, the pretense under which Callen and Sam had been operating was officially blown out of the window. They weren't going to be able to continue to ignore the events that had occurred before Deeks became ill. The elephant in the room would have to be addressed. Callen looked at Sam and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, 'you're on big guy'.

"I know I've told you you're annoying and never serious, but I do like you Deeks. And I never came right out and said I didn't like your dog"

"Bullshit Sam! Now you're being a hypocrite." Deeks snarled. "Don't come in here and lie to me. Just because I can't see you doesn't mean my brain has turned to mush. It's working just fine thank you."

"I'm not being a hypocrite. I'm not spouting bullshit or lying either. I know I've done a lousy job of showing you that you're an asset to the team and I know you think I don't like you but that's my fault not yours. I'm going to try harder to be a better team member. Just because you do things differently than I do, doesn't automatically mean you're wrong. That's something I promise to work on. I may have said some disparaging remarks about Monty too, but I wasn't really serious." Sam was scrambling to come up with the right words to calm Deeks down and get his point across.

"Think about it," he continued "if I didn't trust you and think you could do the job, would I trust you to partner with Kensi? She's like a little sister to me, man. I really am going to try harder to be more of a friend than I have been until now. Will you let me?" Sam was quite uneasy as he asked his question. He didn't want Deeks upset any more than Kensi did, but he had to know if there was a chance to salvage the current situation. The man had come close to dying thinking that he wasn't wanted or needed on the team. That wasn't right and Sam was feeling extremely guilty at his part in the situation. Deeks had every right to be angry with him. As a SEAL, he knew the importance of teamwork and supporting all the members of the team, but he hadn't done so in Deeks case. Deeks' response to the question surprised everyone.

"What about you Callen? Are you going to say something similar, because I've got to tell you, it sounds to me like you're both following some kind of script that's titled 'Do not upset the sick blind man' and it's really making me angry." Marty came close to shouting at the both of them to just leave. He ran his hands through his hair again trying to calm himself down, which showed Callen and Sam how unsettled he was. He tended to do that whenever he was nervous, unsure of himself, or unsettled about something. On his part, Marty was rethinking his agreement with Kensi to let Callen and Sam visit him. So far all he was getting out of the visit was a huge headache along with additional stress and anger. He had no idea what they were getting out of the visit and frankly he didn't give a damn. They could go to hell for all he cared at the moment.

Marty had enough on his mind as it was without trying to figure out what he was supposed to do or if he was supposed to try to make them feel better about themselves. Besides, he thought _"They deserve to feel guilty or whatever they're feeling over how they've been treating me, don't they?"_ He admitted to himself that he didn't trust what they were saying to him even though he was trying to see things from their point of view. He knew he could be unsure of himself at times, but he thought he kept it well hidden behind the jokes, quips and smart-ass remarks.

"Deeks" Callen began and then stopped because he wasn't sure what to say next. He tried again "Deeks, I just want to know that you're getting better. You scared me; really scared me. You scared all of us. I know we've got a lot of things to sort out between us but I don't think this is the right time or place to do that. You're still sick and I don't want to do anything to cause a relapse. Besides, Kensi really will kick Sam and me in the family jewels if we get you any more upset than you already are. You should have seen her when we first arrived at the hospital after she found you. She was frantic with worry and feeling guilty that she hadn't checked up on you sooner. She was in full partner-protection mode and almost lost it when she realized how sick you were and that you could die. She lit into both of us about the way we've been acting. I really thought she was going to shoot both of us or at the very least try to beat some sense into us. I don't think I've ever seen her that angry at either of us before. And she was just as angry at herself."

_"Well at least he's not trying to bullshit me with sunshine and rainbows"_ Marty thought. _"He's actually admitting we have some things to work out, not like Sam trying to gloss over everything."_ He decided to change the subject. He couldn't deal with everything that had happened before he got sick right then and he knew it. Just thinking about it was upsetting him and he knew if Kensi walked in right now, she would make Sam and Callen's world a living hell. That might be fun to watch, but she would also be mad at him for letting himself get so upset and that wouldn't be fun. "She told me she found me and called the ambulance." he stated "But she didn't go into too many details. Exactly what happened that made her check up on me?"

"You didn't call Hetty when you were supposed to. She came and asked us if any of us had heard from you" Sam replied. Before he could say any more, Callen caught his eye and gave a slight shake of the head. He nodded his understanding at Callen and continued. "When none of us had heard from you, Kensi volunteered to check on you and let Hetty know how you were doing. As soon as she got to your apartment and saw how sick you were, she called the ambulance and here we are."

"Um…okay…I'm getting the feeling you're leaving a lot of things out, but I guess I'm okay with your explanation...for now." Deeks didn't want to get into any more awkward conversations with them before Kensi returned so decided to let any further explanations wait until later. As he sat there thinking over what Callen had said, he knew they would have to talk about everything at some point, but agreed with Callen that today was not the right day to do so. He was coming to realize that everyone had been exhausted, almost burned out and actually near the end of their respective ropes when he and Callen had gotten into it. He hoped that when they did talk, they could sort everything out. Even as angry as he had been at Callen and still was, he looked up to the man and wanted him to respect him and his skills. As for Sam, Deeks had no idea how that was going to work out. All Deeks had ever wanted was to feel a part of something and to be accepted for who he was. He wanted to be respected as not only a cop but now as the NCIS liaison as well. The previous months had chipped away at his self esteem and caused him to question not only himself but everyone and everything around him. "So, what's been happening while I've been gone? Have you guys caught any bad guys?"

Callen and Sam both chuckled when they heard Deeks' question. "No!" came the simultaneous replies.

"No…huh…then what have you been doing?"

"Paperwork, loads and loads of paperwork. All the after-action reports we haven't been able to complete and the rest of the overdue paperwork that's been piling up with all the cases we've had." Callen was almost whining as he told Deeks this. "And I'm sure when we finish that, Hetty will find us more paperwork to do. Renko's team has been covering for us in the field."

"Paperwork huh. Why? Did one of you piss Hetty off or something?"

"I actually asked her that. She says she's not punishing us, but that we aren't effective as a team right now. We're also a man down so she has Renko's team covering for us. You know Hetty, that little ninja is always right. So one of us has been here with you while the other two have been catching up on the paperwork."

~,~,~

Callen, Sam and Deeks continued to talk, staying away from sensitive areas by unspoken agreement. None of them wanted to face an angry Kensi Blye so they talked about sports, old cases, team nights out; anything that was considered 'safe' and didn't touch on any sensitive areas. Before they ran out of things to discuss, Kensi returned. She looked around as soon as she entered the room and sighed in relief as she realized there wasn't as much tension in the air as she had been afraid would be.

"Here's your soy latte Deeks." she handed the drink to him making sure he had it securely in his hand. "So what have you three been talking about while I was gone?" she asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know Fern" Deeks quipped taking a sip of his drink and sighing in contentment.

Glancing at Callen and Sam and seeing the smirks on their faces, Kensi reconsidered "You know what, I don't want to know. It looks to me like there has been some male bonding going on here and I don't need to know anything about it."

"You afraid we've been talking about you Kens?" Callen decided to have some fun at her expense.

"No, I'm not afraid of…what do you mean...I have nothing to be afraid of. What's been going on?"

"Sure Kens." It was Sam's turn to wind her up. "We know you, you're Bad Ass Blye. You're not afraid of anything, except maybe two older brother figures looking out for you…and maybe telling stories about you to your partner here." Deeks just sat back and enjoyed listening as the two men ganged up on Kensi.

"Two older brothers…fine!" she snorted. "I'll bite. Were you talking about me to Deeks?"

"Nah, we weren't talking about you. We were talking about all the paperwork Hetty has us working on." Callen replied. Kensi just glared at him in disbelief.

Deeks decided it was time for him to get a little teasing in as well. "Well, after they told me some very interesting stories, I felt I had to tell them about the time you and I were staking out William Douglas…"

"Deeks"

"and you were going to…"

"Deeks, don't go there or I'll have to tell them about Cindy." Kensi was blushing as she warned Deeks but hoped no one noticed.

"All right, Princess, it will remain our little secret" Deeks grinned.

"Good decision Deeks. Okay, time for you two to leave" she stated pointing at Sam and Callen.

"But it was just getting interesting. What happened on the stakeout? Who's William Douglas?" Sam had enjoyed the little exchange between the two younger team members and wouldn't mind hearing more.

"Nothing you're going to find out about Sam. Time to leave now…out…out…now!" Kensi shooed both of them out of the room. "See you tomorrow," she called as she shut the door in their faces.

~,~,~

"How did it really go Deeks?" Kensi asked as soon as the door closed.

"It went better than I thought it would," was his only reply. He didn't know what to tell Kensi. He was still so unsure of his place in the team that a single visit from Sam and Callen wasn't enough to change the way he felt. At least it had sounded like Callen was being honest with him when he said they had things to sort out. Sam had just been...he didn't know what Sam had been. He decided he was going to take it one day at a time to see what happened going forward before he made any kind of life-altering decisions. He still didn't feel he could trust them outside of the job. Oh, he knew they would always have his six while they were on a case, but he didn't trust them enough to share any personal details or to allow them to see the real Marty Deeks. That was something he was going to have to decide based on their actions in the future.

"Do you want to talk about any of it? I'm here and willing to listen if you do." Kensi didn't want to intrude but she wanted, no needed, him to realize she was there for him.

"Nah, that's okay Fern. I'm good…but thanks for asking." Marty had continued taking sips of his latte and was pleased that Kensi had it made just the way he liked it. "Thanks for the latte."

"You're welcome. It's getting late, do you want to try to get some sleep? I'm going to bunk out on the cot tonight, so I'll be here if you need anything."

Deeks thought about it and realized he was wiped out. Talking to Sam and Callen had been difficult but he was glad he had done so. "Yeah, I think I'm about done for the evening. I know you probably will stay anyway, but I just want to say you don't have to tonight. I'll be okay on my own." He knew he would sleep much better if Kensi stayed with him, but he wasn't about to let her to see him as any more vulnerable than he already was. He didn't want her to have that power over him. There was just something about her that calmed him down though and he wasn't going to question the comfort it brought him knowing she was willing to stay with him.

"I know I don't have to stay Deeks. I want to. Unless you don't want me to stay?" Now Kensi was the one feeling a little unsure of herself. _"Maybe he thinks I'm suffocating him. Should I give in and go on home?" _ she thought. Looking over at him she could tell even without seeing his eyes that he was nervous about being alone but was trying to hide it from her. "No, never mind. I'm staying whether you want me to or not. I want to be here, so it's settled."

Marty sighed "Thanks Fern."

~,~,~


	18. Chapter 18: Good News

Marty is on the mend...finally. But can he keep from going stir crazy after being in the hospital for so long or will he drive Kensi crazy? I don't have a beta, so any and all errors are mine and mine alone.

Nope, nada, zilch, zip...crap. I still don't own NCIS Los Angeles.

Enjoy.

~,~,~

CHAPTER 18: Good News

The following days brought additional good news for Marty. When the doctor removed the bandages from his eyes on day 5, he could see much better than the day before. He could actually see Kensi's face even though it was somewhat blurry. Since his eyesight was improving, the doctor decided to leave the bandages off and see how Marty did without them. Members of the team visited him every day making sure he was never alone. Even though it continued to confuse him, it also lightened his spirits. He hadn't thought anyone would continue visiting him once he was awake and on the mend. He had never had that kind of support before when he was hurt or injured so had no point of reference to compare it to. All he knew was it felt good.

Most of the conversations he had with the others were light and shied away from any heavy topics. Eric and he talked about surfing. Nell talked about her family and how worried she had been about him. Sam and he would talk about how Monty was doing and how his kids were pestering him to get a dog for their very own. Callen would come by and give him the latest scoop on what was happening in the office including how everyone was missing him. Without going into specifics, he tried to show Deeks he had meant what he said about being a better team leader. They would talk about strategies and how things could have been done differently on old cases without referring to their last case together. He listened to Deeks and actually praised many of his ideas about how they could improve things.

Everyone tried to give Kensi frequent breaks to go home and do some errands or to relax for a little while. Even though everyone had offered to help and had been helping she had been carrying most of the load of making sure Deeks wasn't alone in the hospital. Several times one of the others would stay with Deeks so she could sleep in her own bed. He kept telling everyone that he would be fine by himself, but no one would listen to him. They would just look at him and say "I'm staying," then sit down in the chair or lay down on the cot and tell him to get some rest. He was very thankful for the way everyone was taking care of him and making sure he was kept in the loop, even though it continued to confuse the hell out of him. It made him feel cared for which had been a rarity for most of his life so he cherished every moment of it.

On Day 6, Marty was allowed to sit up and dangle his legs over the edge of the bed for a while with the promise from the doctor they would try to get him up standing after lunch to see how he did. If he tolerated standing, he would be allowed to try walking to the chair in his room and back again. Kensi was cheering him from the sidelines so to speak as the doctor was relating the good news.

"If I can do that doc, will I finally be able to lose the…um…you know…the catheter?" Marty didn't know why he had so much trouble talking about having a tube up his privates. He could feel himself blushing every single time he mentioned it and wondered why Kensi hadn't teased him about it. He was very glad she hadn't, but he did wonder why. She didn't usually let an opportunity like that pass her by.

"You really want to be rid of that don't you Marty." the doctor replied.

"Yes I do!"

"We'll remove it when you can walk to the chair and back by yourself."

"Oh. Thank. God! You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to getting rid of this thing seriously!"

"The nurse will be here after lunch to get you up and walking. Until then, you can dangle your legs over the edge of the bed a few more times, **IF** someone is with you. I don't want you falling out of bed trying to do it on your own. You've been in bed for six days so your legs are going to be weak and you may get dizzy."

Kensi spoke up "Someone will be with him each time he tries it. We want him back with us as soon as possible, so we'll make sure he doesn't try to do too much too soon." She gave Deeks a warning look as she replied to the doctor. He knew that look; it was the one that said she would hurt him if he didn't listen to the doctor.

Before lunch time, Marty had begged and pleaded until Kensi helped him dangle his legs several more times. "Deeks, you're doing fine. I'm sure you'll do fine this afternoon too. If you keep asking me I may have to punch you in your arm" she playfully threatened.

"You'd do that to me when I'm still in the hospital? Really? I'm not feeling the love here, Kiki." he retorted.

"I'll give you some love if you keep this up, buster."

"Oh really…that sounds vaguely dirty, Kensalina" Marty smirked and waggled his eyebrows as he continued. "If you want some loving, I'm your man. Are you sure you can handle some Deeks love?"

"Oh my God, you have a high opinion of yourself Deeks." She rolled her eyes at him while trying to hide her smile. It was really good to hear his smart-ass remarks after so long worrying about him.

"You're the one who wants some loving from yours truly. I aim to please milady. And besides I have it on good authority that I'm good, very good at pleasing the ladies. You afraid to find out, Kensalina? Is that it?"

"What…that's not what I said and you know it."

Before their banter could go much further, Marty's lunch arrived. "Kens, you want to go grab a bite of real food while I eat what is supposed to pass for food for my lunch?"

"I think I'll do that. I won't be long. Do you want me to bring you back a latte?"

Marty's eyes lit up. "Please, that would be awesome. Anything to take away the taste of what I'm looking at."

"Just don't try to walk until I get back. I want to be able to cheer you on" she called over her shoulder as she left his room.

~,~,~

When Kensi returned, she had his latte for him. He had picked at his lunch but pushed most of it aside. He had tried his best to eat it, but he didn't think it was fit to feed to Monty and certainly didn't want to eat it himself. Kensi had been sure he wouldn't eat much of it after seeing what they had served him so she had picked up a sandwich to go with his latte. "I have a surprise for you," she said holding up the sandwich.

"Really…can I have it or are you just going to tease me with it?"

"No I'm not going to tease you with it. Here" she handed him his latte and then the sandwich. "I brought you the sandwich to go with your latte because I figured you wouldn't be able to eat what I saw on your tray as I was leaving."

"Kensi Marie Blye I'm officially in love with you" he blurted out as he grabbed the sandwich and took a huge bite. Looking up at Kensi, he realized what he had said but didn't know what to do to take it back or make it better. "Are you going to hit me now?" he asked as soon as he was able to swallow the bite of sandwich. He had no idea why he had said he loved her. He wasn't in love with his partner, he couldn't be. It would never work out between them. They worked together and if he was in love with her it would ruin everything. He just had to keep reminding himself of that fact.

For her part, Kensi wasn't sure what to do or say so she went with the first thing that popped into her head "No, I'm not going to hit you. I bet you say that to all the ladies who bring you food don't you? At least now I know what to do to get you to appreciate me…all it takes is a latte and a sandwich!" She was hoping he would realize she didn't want to discuss what he had just said.

Marty heaved a mental sigh of relief "No, I don't say it to all the ladies who bring me food, just the special ones Sugarbear" he said while waggling his eyebrows, glad that the moment had passed without Kensi either running for the hills or killing him. "Thanks for the sandwich and the latte. I really do appreciate it. I couldn't face eating another bite of that...whatever it is" he moaned waving his hand toward the tray on the bedside table.

Almost before he finished his sandwich he pushed the call button for the nurse. He was tired of waiting to get out of bed and walk. The nurse hadn't even completely entered the room when he was asking her if he could get out of bed. Telling him to take it slow, she let him sit up and dangle his legs off the bed for a couple of minutes and then asked Kensi to help her to get him standing up. With Kensi on one side and the nurse on the other, Marty slid his legs off the bed until his feet were on the floor and then slowly stood up. "Let me know if you're feeling dizzy Marty" the nurse told him. "We don't want you falling."

"Yeah, okay…so far so good." Marty replied. "Let me stand here for a minute." When he was ready to try to walk to the chair, he let the nurse know. "Okay, let's get the Deeks' walking show on the road."

"How about I tie the back of your gown closed? I don't think you want to moon anyone do you?"

Once again Marty blushed a deep red "No, I don't want to moon anyone" he stammered.

The nurse tied his gown and continued "Kensi and I are going to be right beside you just in case you get dizzy or lose your balance. If you do, grab onto us and we'll help you. Otherwise, you'll be doing this all by yourself. Are you ready?"

"Yes," Marty slowly put one foot in front of the other and took his first step. He felt like shouting for joy it felt so good to be on his own two feet again. He managed to walk all the way to the chair in the corner of the room without needing either Kensi or the nurse to help him. Once at the chair, he did let them help him sit down so he could rest for a couple of minutes before making the trip back to the bed. He managed to make the trip back without help as well, but was thankful for their help in actually getting back into bed. The nurse told him she would inform the doctor and then return to remove the catheter if the doctor agreed.

"Deeks, you did really well. I'm so proud of you."

"Yep, who would have thought that walking to and from a chair would feel like such a major accomplishment." Marty was just glad that he was going to get the damn catheter out.

"I am a little disappointed though" she giggled.

Marty was almost afraid to ask what she meant when he heard her giggle but sucked it up "Why are you disappointed?"

"Well, I was hoping to see a little moon light" she giggled again while a blushing a little bit.

"Seriously...moon light...did you just say what I think you said, really?" Marty was almost squeaking as he answered her.

"I'm sure it would have been a beautiful sight." Kensi started laughing at the look on Marty's face. He continued to look at her in shock as he finally realized she was both teasing him and complimenting him at the same time. Then a smile crept onto his face and his eyes began to twinkle. "You're a perv, Kens, that's what you are. You're trying to take advantage of me in my weakened state."

"No I'm not, but I can appreciate the view, can't I? On a more serious note though, as sick as you've been and for as long as you've been laying in that bed, walking to the chair and back is a major accomplishment. Don't downplay it buddy, or I may have to quit bringing you real food." Kensi meant what she said about the accomplishment but was teasing about the food. She really didn't want him to downplay how much he had improved in the last three days.

"I know Kens, it's just that I can't believe how exhausted I am from that little walk. It's going to take some time before I'm back up to strength and it's a little daunting."

"You'll make it Deeks. I know you will,"

~,~,~

Deeks kept glancing at the door to his room hoping the doctor would arrive soon. He was beginning to fidget and had forgotten that Kensi was still with him. All he could concentrate on was getting the catheter out. He knew it was stupid to be so paranoid about a small tube that had been necessary when he had been unconscious, but he was. As he continued to fidget and stare at the door, Kensi kept quiet for as long as she could. Finally, she spoke up "Deeks…Deeks are you in there?"

"What…what did you say? I wasn't paying attention. Sorry Kens." he replied.

"You know staring at the door isn't going to bring the doctor any sooner, right?"

"Yeah, I know…I just want this…shit!…you know what I mean…I just want this tube gone!" Deeks could feel himself blushing, again and hoped Kensi would ignore it.

Kensi gave him a gentle smile "I understand Deeks. I wouldn't be too happy being hooked up to a catheter either. You just have to be patient. The doctor will be here soon and you'll be unhooked. Why don't you tell me the first thing you're going to do once you get your strength back and are healthy again? It might help pass the time."

"Okay. That's an idea...let me think." Deeks began thinking about what he wanted to do as soon as he could. After a minute or so, he began relating his plans to Kensi. The first thing on his list was to go to the beach with Monty and then surf all day. He had learned to surf as a child and it had become his refuge from the terrors of his daily existence of living with a drunken monster for a father. He was on the beach as often as possible. When he was surfing he was out of harms way and could forget the nightmares of home. As an adult he surfed to come down from bad undercover operations, or just to relax and unwind after a hard day at OSP. As he continued to relate his plans to Kensi, he didn't even notice the time passing so was surprised when he looked up and saw the doctor entering his room.

"Are you ready to get that catheter removed, Marty?" the doctor asked even though he knew what Marty's answer would be.

"Yes!"

Kensi interjected "I'll just go wait outside until you're finished."

"Thanks Kens. I appreciate it." Deeks replied.

~,~,~

For the remainder of the day, Deeks practiced walking from his bed to the chair with Kensi by his side for support if needed. Each time it got a little easier for him. He could feel his strength slowly returning. Now, he just had to get well enough to go home. He was trying to be patient, but the better he felt, the antsier he became to get out of the hospital.

"Deeks, would you quit fidgeting!" Kensi was getting frustrated just watching him.

"Sorry Kens…I just want to get out of here and go home."

"I know you do, but it's not going to be for a few more days. You almost died, so just take it easy. I'm sure Dr. Jameson and the nurses want to see you leave as much as you want to leave, but you have to be healthy before you do so you don't have a relapse. You don't want a relapse do you?"

"Of course not, Kens. I'm trying my best to be patient here, but all I've seen for days are these four walls. It get's a little claustrophobic you know. God, I wish I could see the sun for a little while." Hearing him, Kensi had an idea that might help him relax a little.

"I'll be right back Deeks. If you're patient, I might be able to bring you a surprise that I know you'll like."

"Fine…I'll do my best…but it better be an awesome surprise," he called to her as she left the room. He concentrated on the fact that he was getting better and really was trying to be patient, but was getting nervous the longer Kensi was gone. _"When did I become dependent on her being here to help me through the days?"_ he wondered. _"I can take care of myself. I don't need her to do that for me. I've been doing it my whole life without any help. It is nice having someone here though. I'm just not used to it, I guess." _He looked up as the door to his room opened. Kensi was back with a wheelchair and a huge smile on her face. He looked from her to the wheelchair with questions in his eyes. "What's the wheelchair for?"

"Surprise! I got permission to take you out to the patient sun deck. You have to stay in the wheelchair though. We can sit up there and get some fresh air and look out toward the ocean. You think you're up for it?" Kensi was pretty pleased with herself. She knew Deeks would jump at the chance to see the ocean.

"Hell yes, I'm up for it. I'll even stay in the chair. Anything to get out of this room and get some fresh air. This means a lot to me Kens. More than you know." The more little things Kensi did for him, the easier it became for him to get past the times when her teasing had been mean-spirited or she had sided with Sam and Callen when they were razzing him. This was one more example to him that maybe, just maybe, she did want him as her partner and did trust him to have her back. With all of his insecurities raising their ugly heads and buzzing around in his brain, the small things she did went a long way to helping him shove them out and away and regain a little of his self-confidence.

The visit to the sun deck was just what Marty needed. Seeing the city laid out before him and being able to see the ocean swells coming in and kissing the shore filled him up with a peace he hadn't felt in quite a while. The ocean always did that for him. He basked in the late afternoon sunlight and felt every muscle in his body relaxing. He hadn't realized how much tension he had been carrying around until it dissipated. He felt ten pounds lighter. He got so relaxed he almost fell asleep.

Kensi looked at him and noticed his eyes were getting heavy. "You ready to go back to your room now or do you want to stay here a little longer?

Deeks jumped a little when he heard Kensi's voice. "I don't believe I almost fell asleep. It's so peaceful here. If I can come up here everyday until I get out of here, I know I can be patient Kens. This is exactly what I needed."

~,~,~


	19. Chapter 19: Home at Last

We're almost to the end of this story. Deeks still doesn't completely trust his co-workers but is glad to be home.

I still don't own NCIS LA or any of the characters. However, my minions and I are having great fun playing with them.

Enjoy.

~,~,~

CHAPTER 19: Home at Last

After twelve long days in the hospital, almost four of them in ICU, Marty was finally being discharged. The six days since he had first been up to the sun deck had passed while he fully recovered from his illness and began taking longer and longer walks around the hospital to build up his strength. Kensi and the rest of the team made sure he was able to spend time on the sun deck every day and it had worked wonders for Marty's disposition. He continued to have visits from everyone and long conversations with his team members. Callen and he were still shying away from the more sensitive subjects but they were talking and getting to know each other a little better.

Sam was the same old Sam, but Marty could tell he was trying hard to make him feel like part of the team and for now, that was enough. Sam continued regaling him with the most current antics of Monty and his girls. It sounded like his dog had wormed his way into the hearts of the entire Hanna family, including Sam who would never admit it, although Marty could tell by he way he talked about him it was true. Marty knew now beyond a doubt there was a dog in the man's future, even if he didn't. The girls and Mrs. Hanna would make sure of it.

Kensi continued to amaze and confuse him with all the things she did for him without being asked. She was with him the most. Luckily the case load in OSP was very light as opposed to the previous month, so the paperwork was getting caught up and Hetty was able to give everyone some extra time off. Marty was pretty sure Kensi spent most of her time off with him. That continued to confuse him too. If he was honest with himself, Kensi confused the hell out of him and he was never sure where he stood with her. All he knew for sure was that he was enjoying her company and they had gotten back into their 'groove' with their unique brand of banter. They talked about a lot of things, mostly work-related or about the ways they sometimes spent time together after work watching her favorite shows and eating take-out.

Marty knew she wanted to ask him about his childhood by some of the hints she would drop into their conversations, but he wasn't ready to open himself up to her in that way. His trust in her was growing again, especially on the job, but he was still reserving judgement about letting her into his personal life, she had hurt him too much to just let it go without some heavy thinking on his part. He continued coming to grips with his feelings about the whole team and the way they had treated him. He knew he was making progress, but it would take more time to get over his feelings of being unwanted and unappreciated. For as cocky and assured as he seemed to many people, the demons from his childhood made him vulnerable to feelings of guilt whenever anything went wrong and he wasn't quite as self-confident as he projected when interacting with others. Everything that had happened before he had gotten sick had brought up all his old feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt which was what he was working so hard to overcome right now.

Hetty would visit and tell him all kinds of stories about her travels and ask him what he wanted out of life and where he saw himself in five years. She was always able to get him to open up and then she would listen intently to whatever he said. They got into lively conversations about the various teas she found from all over the world, most of them exotic brands he had never heard of. She even got him to taste a few and admit a couple of them were very pleasing. It gave Hetty great pleasure introducing him to the growing, harvesting and brewing of teas.

They talked a little about his return to work once he was given a clean bill of health. Hetty assured him his place in OSP was waiting for him. She chastised him as needed whenever he became frustrated with his progress or would voice his worries over fitting in and how the team saw him. She would probably never know how much it meant to him when she listened so intently to something he was saying; when she taught him things; or when she talked to him like he was someone special; someone she treasured. She treated him like a son; much better than his own mother had been able to do. He had loved his mother with all of his heart and knew that she had loved him, but she had been defeated by life and had what little strength of spirit she had beaten out of her by her husband and had abandoned Marty after he shot his father. She had been unable to either protect Marty or give him the skills to navigate life. He'd learned them on his own.

Marty received a clean bill of health from the doctor that morning. He still had a ways to go before he could go back to work and he had to have someone with him at home for a few days, but that was a small price to pay to be able to go home to Monty and sleep in his own bed.

~,~,~

As Marty waited for his discharge papers to be completed, he thought back over everything that had happened since the day he had blown up at Callen. _"Things are so different now. I know we have a long way to go, but everyone's really trying hard to be there for me and I do appreciate it. I'm still not sure how Sam see's me though. Oh, I know he's trying hard to make me feel like part of the team, but there's things he's not telling me and I'm not sure how much he trusts me deep down. I guess, I'll have to keep showing him I'm good at what I do even if I don't do things the way he thinks they should be done. Callen and I still have issues but at least we're talking and not yelling at each other. And he has admitted to me that he hasn't been there for me as team leader until now but that it's going to be different. I actually believe him when he says that and I'm going to give him the chance to prove it to me._

_"Kensi…Kensi has been amazing, infuriating, frustrating and confusing...so confusing. So what else is new? There's just something about her that draws me in. I know behind her bad-ass attitude there's a soft sentimental woman hiding. And I don't know how, but I know someone or something hurt her deeply in the past which is why she has such high walls around her true self. She has so many questions she wants to ask me, but she's not pushing me to talk about anything I don't want to and I'm glad because I'm not ready yet...and I still have reservations about how much I can trust her. Who would have believed that Bad Ass Blye could be so patient!" _He was deep in thought and didn't notice when Kensi came into his room pushing a wheelchair.

Seeing him lost in thought, Kensi called "Deeks…Deeks, penny for your thoughts."

"What…" Marty looked up and finally noticed Kensi was right in front of him. "Sorry Kensalina, I didn't even notice you come in. I've been thinking about a lot of things."

"I could tell by the steam coming out your ears" she snickered.

"Only you Fern…only you would hit a man when he's down" Marty came right back at her with a smirk.

"I wasn't planning on hitting you, but if you don't want to get out of here, I can take the wheelchair back out to the nurses desk and leave..."

"No, don't you dare! Am I free?…really…all the paperwork is done?…I can go home?…seriously?" Marty was babbling he was so happy.

"To answer your questions in order; yes, yes, yes and really! Your chariot awaits you Sir Knight. Hop on and the nurse and I'll spring you from this dungeon." Kensi was ecstatic to see the sparkle back in Deeks' eyes and his nicknames for her rolling off his tongue. It had been a long time since she had seen or heard him sound so much like his old self. She held the wheelchair for him while he climbed aboard, then gave him the gifts and cards he was taking home with him. He had arranged for all the flowers and plants to be shared among the patients on his floor to brighten their days a little bit like they had for him when he received them from his co-workers at OSP and at LAPD. He had been surprised but delighted at how many cards and gifts he had received. It had helped restore some of his self-esteem and brightened the long days in the hospital.

Kensi walked along while the nurse pushed Marty down the halls as he said thanks and waved goodbye to the staff that had cared for him so well during his stay. As they passed Dr. Jameson at the nurses' station, he had the nurse stop so he could shake the doctor's hand. "Thanks Dr. Jameson for all of your care. Not only did you take care of me, but you kicked my butt when I needed it and reassured me when I freaked out about being blind. It really meant a lot to me."

"You're welcome Marty. I hope to **not** see you here again unless it's to visit. Stay healthy and the next time you get a sinus infection, go to the doctor. Don't try to treat it yourself. Promise?"

"I promise. Thanks again." Marty replied. "Onward Jeeves" he motioned to the nurse to start toward the elevators to his freedom. "I can't wait to get home."

As they proceeded to the hospital entrance so Kensi could load him and the rest of his things into her car, she began telling him what everyone had been doing to get his place ready for his return. Nell had made some home-cooked meals and froze them for him, so he would have healthy food without having to go to too much trouble. Hetty had his place cleaned by a professional crew. Kensi informed him that she would be staying with him for at least a week to make sure he was getting better every day.

"You don't have to do that Kens. You've already done more than you needed to. You don't know how much it's meant to me." Marty didn't want to impose on her anymore than he already had.

"You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm your partner and you would do it for me. Besides, it's Hetty's orders. You don't want her to get mad at you, or heaven forbid, decide that she will stay with you, now do you?" Kensi could see the look of apprehension that crossed his face at the mention of Hetty staying with him and couldn't keep a small chuckle from escaping her lips.

"No…no Hetty…you can stay with me…please Kensi. Tell Hetty I'm glad you're staying with me to take care of me…please." He looked up at her through his bangs with his puppy dog eyes pleading silently with her to save him from having Hetty stay with him.

"Are you sure you want me to stay instead of Hetty?" Kensi teased.

"Yes, I'm sure…very sure Fern," he knew she was teasing him but this was their usual banter and it made it him feel good that they could tease each other. "Maybe you could give me a sponge bath later?" he leered at her while wiggling his eyebrows.

"In your dreams, Shaggy, in your dreams," came the reply. "Here we are. Give me the cards and gifts and I'll put them in the back seat while you get buckled in the front." Once they were both settled into the car, she drove out of the hospital toward Marty's apartment. He rolled down he window and basked in the sunshine and fresh breeze. He was finally going home!

~,~,~

Marty was able to climb the stairs to his apartment on his own with Kensi right behind him, just in case. He was surprised at how much the climb tired him out, but shouldn't have been. Before he could open his front door, Kensi stopped him. "I have a surprise for you. Do you trust me?"

"Is this a good surprise Sugarbear?"

"Yes Deeks…now do you trust me?"

He looked deep into her eyes and could see nothing there but caring. "Yes, I trust you."

"All right then, close your eyes and take my hands. I'll make sure you don't trip on anything."

"Okay."

Kensi unlocked the front door, then took Deeks' hands and led him into his apartment. She got him sitting down on his couch with the reminder "Don't open your eyes or you'll spoil the surprise."

"Geez Kens, really? I promised I'd keep them closed."

Kensi looked at Sam and motioned for him to open Deeks' bedroom door to where Monty was waiting patiently. How Sam had been able to get him to be quiet was a miracle, but Monty had risen to the occasion. When Sam opened the door, Monty saw Deeks and launched himself at him without a sound. Before Kensi could even tell him to open his eyes, Monty was already in his lap licking his face, neck and arms while wriggling and whining in joy.

"Monty! I'm so glad to see you. Did you miss Daddy?" Marty looked at Kensi and then saw Sam also standing there. "So this is the surprise, right? You're right, it was a good one. Thank you both." His eyes were shining and he was lavishing attention on Monty. He had missed him so much and could tell Monty had missed him too. After giving him a good looking over, he turned to Sam "Thanks for taking care of him Sam. I can tell he's been lavished with attention. He never looks this happy and healthy when I get him back from the kennel."

"You're welcome man. I'm off now to go home and console my daughters over losing him. They really hated to see him go."

"Tell them they can come visit him any time they want to, okay? And tell them they did a wonderful job caring for him."

"I will. You take it easy and listen to Kensi." Sam said as he walked out the door.

Marty turned to Kensi as she closed the door and tried to think of what he could say to convey just how much her surprise had meant to him. "Kens" he began. "Um...I think this is the best surprise I've ever received." He was looking at her with that look that always made her shiver. "Thanks doesn't cover it, but it's all I have, so thanks Kensi…thanks." He quickly looked down to Monty and continued to pet him to hide the shine of tears he knew were in his eyes. He didn't want her to see them. "This is the best home-coming ever!" he exclaimed once he got himself under control.

~,~,~

As Deeks continued to pet Monty and endure the licks of the wriggling mass of fur, Kensi went to her car to get the gifts and cards and bring them back up to his apartment. She knew he needed some additional time to get his emotions under control and she was determined to give him as much as he needed. She knew how affected he had been by seeing Monty as soon as he got home and was glad she had thought of it.

By the time she had retrieved everything and put them away or set them on his kitchen table for him to look at again if he wanted to, Deeks had himself under control. Monty had finally exhausted his welcome home of his master and was glued to his side looking like he wasn't ever going to let him out of his sight again. Kensi sat down on the other end of his couch and just watched the two of them. She was glad he was home and getting better every day. It had been a nightmare over the last couple of weeks and while he wasn't 100 percent healthy yet, he was getting closer all the time.

"Are you ready for lunch? I saw a lot of good food in the refrigerator earlier," she asked Deeks.

"In a little while I think. Right now I would like to take a shower…that is if I can't persuade you to give me that sponge bath" Marty was looking at her with sparkling eyes and that cute little smirk on his face.

"You've already had a sponge bath. Don't you remember it?"

"I think I would remember if I had received a sponge bath from you Kens. I wasn't that out of it."

"No, but I wasn't the one to give you a sponge bath. Sam did that." Kensi grinned while reminding Deeks of that bit of information.

"What…when…really? No, you're teasing me, right…Sam did not give me a sponge bath…seriously?" Deeks was babbling and had a look of sheer horror on his face.

Kensi couldn't help but laugh. "I told you this in the hospital, don't you remember? Well he didn't actually give you a sponge bath, he helped the nurse. But you did receive a sponge bath in the hospital. Too bad you were unconscious when it happened. I'm sure you would have enjoyed it."

"I'm never going to be able to look Sam in the face again…I'll change my name…move to another country…Oh God, how embarrassing!" Deeks blushed bright red and was mortified. Why hadn't Sam said anything? It would have been the perfect opening for him to say something about how he wasn't physically fit or something and it confused him that Sam hadn't taken advantage of the situation.

"Come on Deeks, you're being a little dramatic don't you think? The only reason I know is because the nurse mentioned it after I had relieved Sam at the hospital when you were still in ICU. He hasn't said a word to anyone about it that I know of."

"Really? I hope not, I would never live it down." Deeks replied. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he decided to get Kensi back for her little bombshell. "You could help me forget the humiliation you know."

"How can I help?" Kensi played along with him. "You want me to threaten Sam with bodily harm?"

"No I don't want you to threaten Sam," he snorted. "But you could give me a sponge bath to erase the horrific memories you just stirred up about the previous one. You did say you would help." He snickered at her and winked.

"You've got a one-track mind! Shoo, get in there and take your shower while I get lunch on the table," she ordered him. "But be careful and if you get dizzy, call me. I don't want you falling."

"Okay bossy…I'm going. You're no fun you know that." Deeks threw over his shoulder as he made his way toward his bathroom.

~,~,~


	20. Chapter 20: Getting Healthy

Only two more chapters after this one to go; and no, I still don't own NCIS LA.

Thanks again to everyone who has followed, reviewed, favorited or just read this story. It blows me away and encourages me to write more. Virtual hugs to everyone.

For my french readers: Une fois de plus à tous mes lecteurs français. Merci beaucoup pour tous vos commentaires. Je suis absolument époustouflé par le fait que de nombreux lecteurs pour qui l'anglais est la langue seconde sont lecture mon histoire et en jouir. Votre encouragement signifie plus de moi que vous pouvez connaître. Encore une fois, merci

Enjoy.

~,~,~

CHAPTER 20: Getting Healthy

Kensi waited until she heard the water turn on in the shower and then proceeded to pull things out of the refrigerator for lunch. Nell had left a very nice salad so she put that on the table before making a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches just like her Dad had taught her many years ago. She was putting the finishing touches on their lunch when she heard Deeks calling her name.

Deeks had been able to take his shower and even wash his hair. He had felt a little light-headed by the time he was done so sat down on the edge of the bathtub to dry off. He felt much better in a couple of minutes so proceeded to get dressed. Everything went well until he pulled up his jeans and realized how very loose they were on him. He was holding them up with both hands so they wouldn't slip off his hips and pool on the floor. _"I must have lost 15 pounds! These jeans have never been this loose. What am I going to do. If I walk out there like this they're going to be down around my ankles and Kensi will get a good look at my assets whether she wants to or not. That might not be a bad thing, though she would probably punch me and tell me I did it on purpose. I need a belt and my belts are in my closet. Shit!" _he thought. _"I'm going to have to get Kensi to help." _He opened the bathroom door and called out toward the kitchen. "Kens, can you come help me?"

When Kensi heard Deeks calling, she rushed to the bathroom door "Are you all right in there? Are you hurt? Do I need to come in?"

"No, I'm okay Kens. I just need you to get me a belt from my bedroom. They're hanging up in the closet. I didn't realize how much weight I've lost and the pants I have on are too loose."

Kensi giggled a little to herself as she retrieved a belt from his room. "Do you want me to help you put it on?" she purred when she was back outside the bathroom door.

"I think I can put my own belt on Princess…that is unless you want to see me in all my shirtless glory. You can count all my ribs if that turns you on." Deeks was enjoying the bantering between the two of them.

Kensi opened the door slightly and reached in with his belt in her hand. "I don't know, I might not be able to control myself if I see you without all your clothes on," she giggled. "Here you go. Don't take too long, lunch is ready."

"Was that a giggle I heard from Bad Ass Blye? Are you going soft on me, really? I'll be right there."

Kensi was pouring them each a glass of water when Deeks walked into the kitchen. Looking up, she could see that he had been right about losing weight. The belt he had on was buckled at least three notches tighter than normal and his pants were still riding low on his hips. She placed a pill next to Deeks' water glass so he could take his meds with lunch as required, then they both sat down and enjoyed the food. Deeks complimented her on the sandwiches so she told him how her Dad had taught her to make them. Deeks could see how much talking about her dad affected her and was amazed she was giving him a glimpse into her past.

"You feel up to taking Monty to the beach after I clean up?" Kensi thought it would do Deeks a world of good to visit the beach.

"That would be great, but I'm helping clean up. After all you made lunch, the least I can do is help put things away. I'm not an invalid you know." Deeks insecurities were coming back again.

"I know you're not and I appreciate the help. It will get done faster with the two of us." Kensi replied with a gentle nudge to his shoulder. "We make a good team, partner."

Marty gave her a grateful smile. "Yeah, we do partner, we do."

~,~,~

Once everything was cleaned up, they were ready to hit the beach. Monty's ears perked up and he ran to the front door as soon as he heard Marty grab his leash and a couple of dog toys. Kensi packed a blanket to sit on, a couple of towels, some bottled water and a couple of energy bars and they were on their way. The beach was within walking distance, so they didn't bother to take the car. If Marty was too tired to walk back, Kensi had already decided she could jog back and get the car to pick him up. They took their time walking to the beach where Deeks found a good spot for them to sit, close to the ocean but above the tide line.

Kensi spread out the blanket while Marty took off Monty's leash. Monty was sitting in front of him with an expectant look on his face. As soon as the frisbee appeared in Marty's hand, Monty took off. Marty spent some time throwing the frisbee for Monty and then waiting for him to bring it back. Once Monty was tired of that game, he came back and laid down beside his master.

Kensi had been watching the interaction between Deeks and Monty with quiet enjoyment. She could tell how much they meant to each other. Monty was always watching Deeks as if to make sure he was all right. Deeks eyes shone every time Monty brought the frisbee back for another toss. And when Monty laid down beside him, she saw Deeks give a sigh and begin stroking the old dog's fur.

They spent the better part of the afternoon at the beach, sometimes going for short walks but mostly just hanging out and people watching. They were lounging on the blanket when Kensi's stomach growled loud enough to make Monty's ears perk up and his head turn to her. Deeks laughed "Is someone getting hungry?"

"Shut up Deeks. We've been here for hours. I can't help it if I'm hungry," she smiled at him to make sure he knew she was teasing and gave him a very soft punch to the shoulder. "Come on, it's time we got back anyway. I saw a casserole in the refrigerator we can heat up for dinner. You up to walking home or do you want me to go get the car?"

"Nah, I'm good to walk home. This day has been great and I'm feeling better all the time."

~,~,~

In spite of what Marty had told Kensi he was completely done in by the time they reached his apartment and gratefully sat down on the couch. Monty stared at him for a moment and then jumped up and lay beside him with his head in Marty's lap. Kensi put the casserole into the oven and began putting things away. Marty offered to help, but she told him to take it easy, she could do it. They enjoyed a leisurely dinner and watched some reality TV.

When Marty was ready to call it a night, he offered his bed to Kensi, saying "I can crash on the couch. You shouldn't have to because you're staying here to watch over me."

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch Deeks. Get your butt into bed," she admonished him. "You've been sick and you don't need to twist yourself up in knots trying to sleep on a couch that's too short and too small for you. I can crash on the couch"

"No Kens. How about we compromise? We can share my bed and I promise to be a perfect gentleman if you promise to not have your wicked way with me while I'm asleep," he smirked. "That way we'll both get a good nights sleep. Do you agree?"

Kensi looked at him very seriously for several minutes trying to decide if he was serious. He just waited and let her think the whole thing through. He didn't feel right about her sleeping on his couch when he had a perfectly good bed that was big enough for the both of them. And truth be told, he was too tired to even think of trying to start anything with her. Besides, if he did, she would probably kill him and dispose of his body.

After several minutes, Kensi answered him "Okay, it's a deal…as long as I get the right side of the bed. I can't sleep on the left. And no funny business, mister!"

"Are you going to behave too, sugarbear?" he came right back at her wriggling his brows and smiling.

"Yes, I'll behave. You have a very high opinion of yourself there don't you? Go on, get in there and get in bed. I'll change in the bathroom and be there in a minute."

Marty climbed into bed and was almost asleep in the few minutes it took Kensi to change into her sleep clothes. She looked at him as she slid under the covers, then quietly said "Good night Deeks" and rolled over. Sleep claimed her almost before her head hit the pillow.

~,~,~

The following days brought renewed strength and stamina to Marty. His health was improving daily along with his appetite. He was regaining the weight he had lost while he was sick and knew he would be back to his normal weight before too long. By Friday of the first week home, he was able to paddle around in the ocean, albeit under the watchful eye of Kensi. He knew she was still worried about him and didn't want him to overdo it and actually try to surf. And truth be told, he knew he wasn't in shape yet to surf, but just being able to be in the water was food for his soul. The ocean had always been his refuge, his escape and the one place where he could totally relax and really think about things and get them straight in his head.

He thought about all that Kensi had done for him while he had been in the hospital and since he had come home. She had stayed with him all week. They had taken long walks and played with Monty. She was being so patient with him and had never once asked him to tell her any personal information. She had finally mentioned yesterday what she had heard when she first came to check on him, but didn't ask him to provide any details or if any of it was true or just hallucinations and he was profoundly grateful for her tact and understanding.

Kensi was returning to work on Monday so he would be alone with just Monty for company. He was looking forward to it but also found himself thinking about the fact he would miss having Kensi there with him. It had been nice having someone to talk to or to watch cheesy TV shows with. He knew Monty was going to miss her as well. Sometimes he thought of how his dog had taken to her immediately. He followed her around and could usually be found with his head in her lap when they were watching TV. She was always petting him and giving him tummy rubs.

They enjoyed the weekend together taking walks with Monty and hanging out at the beach. On Sunday, Marty tried to convince Kensi it would do wonders for him to surf a couple of smaller waves. He promised he would be very careful. She looked into his eyes and saw the hope in the ocean blue depths but also saw worry that she would tell him he was being foolish. Thinking it over very carefully, she decided that a couple of the small waves would do wonders for his disposition. She knew he was a very good surfer and would only grab a couple of the smaller waves as he promised. It was another opportunity for her to show him she trusted him.

"I thinks that sounds like a plan. You've gotten a lot of your strength back and the doctor did say everything was looking good on Friday when you saw him. But just a couple small ones okay? I worry you may overdo it on your first time out."

"I won't Fern, I promise, just a couple of the smaller waves" Marty was beaming as he ran toward the surf with his board in hand. She sat with Monty on the beach and watched him paddle out beyond the breaks and wait for a small but good wave. She could tell the moment he felt the one he was going to ride. As she watched him take off with the wave and then jump to his feet on his board, she was amazed all over again at the grace he exhibited when he was in the ocean. It was almost like he was part fish! He rode the wave expertly until he was near shore and she could hear his shouts of joy as he immediately turned around and went back out for another wave. Kensi watched as he waited again for the right wave and then rode it all the way into shore.

Marty was grinning from ear to ear as he grabbed his board and walked back to where Kensi and Monty were waiting for him. "That was fantastic! You should let me teach you to surf sometime. It's an incredible high."

"Maybe one of these days you'll convince me to give it a try, but not today. We're perfectly content sitting here; aren't we boy" she looked at the dog laying by her side with his tummy in the air and gave him additional scratches as he whimpered in pleasure with his eyes half closed.

"I think Monty's a sucker for a pretty face. He likes you better than me Fern." Marty actually enjoyed the fact that Kensi liked his dog.

"Are you jealous, Shaggy?"

"No, but you could give me some of the attention you're giving my dog. I'm the one whose been sick. A massage would feel great right about now." Marty looked at her through his bangs with his version of a puppy dog look.

Kensi just laughed "Maybe later, Deeks, maybe later."

~,~,~

The following week was somewhat lonely for Marty with Kensi at work. He hadn't realized he would miss her presence so much. It had become a pleasant routine having her there to talk to and have meals with. He was enjoying his time alone too though and found plenty to keep himself busy. He cleaned up around the apartment, took Monty for nice long walks along the beach interspersed with playtime. He got in some additional surfing while continuing to keep to the smaller waves as he'd promised her. It was while he was tossing the frisbee for Monty on Friday morning that he came up with the idea to treat Kensi to a home-cooked dinner. Taking his cell phone out, he texted Kensi at work "Dinner tonight?".

He and Monty had made it back to his apartment before he received a reply to his text "Sure. Takeout?"

He replied "No, it's a surprise." He then made a list of the ingredients he would need to pick up at the store and grabbed his car keys. He decided to make spaghetti with french bread and a small salad for dinner and then thought _"What the heck…I'll make the cheesecake Mom taught me how to make. Kensi will love it."_ Loading up the shopping cart with what he needed he proceeded to check out and get everything into the car. Before he could start the engine, he received another text "A surprise? Will I like it?"

"Of course you will. 7 pm is dinner time. Call if you'll be late," he sent off in reply.

~,~,~

By 6:30, the cheesecake was in the refrigerator, the salad was made, the pot for the noodles had hot water in it and the spaghetti sauce was simmering on the stove with the french bread ready to go into the oven. Marty was waiting until Kensi arrived before beginning the noodles and finishing the bread. He had changed into a pair of casual slacks and a light blue pullover. He had even ran a comb through his hair which would have meant more if he hadn't already ran his hands through it several times as he waited impatiently for his partner to arrive. He hadn't heard anything from her and was hoping that meant that she would be there soon.

Meanwhile Kensi had rushed home from work and changed into a pair of black jeans and a lightweight lavender sweater after a quick shower. She hadn't planned on changing, but after running down a scumbag and tackling him in a back alley, she was filthy and needed a shower and a change of clothes. She left her hair down, put minimal makeup on and ran out the door. She didn't want to be late for her dinner surprise. She just hoped it would be edible since she was starving. She had never eaten anything Deeks had cooked before. She hadn't even been aware he could cook.

Deeks heard the knock at his front door at 6:45 and walked over and opened the door. Seeing Kensi standing there all he could think to say was "Wow, you…you look beautiful Kens. Come on in."

Kensi on her part was stunned at how good Deeks looked. The blue pullover brought out the blue in his eyes making them more brilliant than ever. "Thanks Deeks. You clean up very nicely too," she replied as she walked into his living room. "So what is my dinner surprise? Something smells really good in here."

"Its nothing too fancy. I made spaghetti along with a salad and garlic bread. The actual surprise is for dessert. Everything is ready except for the noodles and the bread. I wanted to wait until you got here to finish up so everything would be perfect. Get comfortable while I get them finished."

~,~,~


	21. Chapter 21: Kensi Apologizes

We're coming to the end of this story and I must say, I'm kind of sad that it's almost over. There's only the epilog after this chapter.

All errors are mine. I also don't own NCIS LA. My minions and I just bring the characters out to play.

Thanks everyone who has followed this story. It means more to me than you can know.

Enjoy.

~,~,~

CHAPTER 21: Kensi Apologizes

Kensi was lounging on the couch petting Monty when she heard Deeks call "Do you want wine or beer with dinner?"

"Either one is fine. Is it almost ready, I'm starving?"

"Since when aren't you starving Fern?" he quipped. "I'm putting the finishing touches together now. It will be ready in a couple of minutes."

She walked into his small kitchen and saw him straining the noodles. "Let me get the dishes out while you finish that up." She set the table and put the plates next to the stove while he was getting the french bread out of the oven. Together, they got the salad dished up and each filled a plate and sat down. Deeks had a nice red wine to go with the spaghetti dinner.

"Deeks this looks delicious!" Kensi said.

"Let me know if it tastes as good as it looks" he replied.

"Are you kidding me? I'm sure it does." Kensi began eating and soon small moans of pleasure were escaping as she dove into the food. "Oh my God Deeks, you can cook for me any time. This is fantastic." Marty sat and watched her eat while he slowly consumed his share. He was happy she was enjoying the meal. He hadn't had a chance to cook for anyone in a long time and watching her enjoy the food that he had made for her gave him a real thrill.

"Don't eat too much now Fern. There is still dessert to come" he told her as she finished off her second plate of spaghetti.

"Ooh, that's right. What's for dessert? Did you make it as well?" Kensi looked at him with anticipation in her eyes. "If it's anything like this meal, I'll think I've died and gone to heaven. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"I worked in a restaurant while in college to help pay for tuition and books. The free meals helped too. The cook took a liking to me and taught me quite a bit about food and cooking. I don't get much of a chance to cook for anyone these days so I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"Oh I am. This is wonderful," she told him. "You're a man of many talents partner. So, what's for dessert? I'm ready for it."

"Do you mean to tell me you are still hungry after two plates of spaghetti along with the salad and french bread? Where do you put it all?"

"Listen buster. This is the first real meal I've had today. We were running all day and I missed lunch. Donuts for breakfast don't last long with the day I've had. Yes, I'm ready for dessert. Bring it on Shaggy." Kensi stuck her tongue out at Marty as she finished talking and motioned for dessert.

"Your wish is my command, Princess. But, you have to close your eyes and not open them until I tell you to, okay?" Marty wanted to place the cheesecake in front of her before she saw it.

"Okay, I can do that" she replied as she closed her eyes and covered them with her hands. "Just don't take too long."

Marty removed the used plates from the table then went to the refrigerator and retrieved the cheesecake. Cutting two generous slices and putting fresh raspberries on top of each, he placed each on a small plate and returned to the table putting one in front of Kensi and one at his place. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

Kensi opened her eyes and spotted the cheesecake immediately. "You made this too?" she asked.

"Yes, go ahead try it." Marty was eager to see if she liked it or not.

Kensi put the first bite of cheesecake in her mouth. It was out of this world. It melted in her mouth while a wealth of flavors exploded across her tongue. "This is wonderful!" she mumbled as she shoved another bite into her mouth giving a moan of pleasure while doing so. "You can really cook, Deeks."

Marty sat there watching her enjoy the dessert. It felt good to see someone enjoying something his mother had taught him to make. It was one of the few good memories he had of home and being able to share it with someone filled him with joy. He could tell she was really enjoying herself. After dinner, Kensi helped him clean up before they sat down to watch some TV and enjoy each others presence. Kensi was half-asleep with her head on Marty's shoulder when he nudged her and said "It's getting late. Do you want to stay or are you going to go home?"

Kensi really wanted to stay but she thought it would be good for Deeks to be alone since he was so much better. She didn't want him thinking that she didn't feel like he could take care of himself. "I should be going. I've got a lot to do around my place since I haven't been there much lately. Thanks for the wonderful dinner. I really enjoyed it."

"You're welcome. I'm going surfing tomorrow if you want to come for a lesson."

"I might take you up on that offer. Can I let you know tomorrow?" she replied.

"Sure Kens, or you can just show up. You know where Monty and I will be. Drive safe." Marty walked her to his door and watched her until she got into her car before closing up and going to bed.

~,~,~

Saturday was a glorious summer day and Deeks was up and at the beach before 7 am. He found a good spot on the beach for his stuff. After telling Monty to stay and guard things, he was in the water. Setting on his board beyond the breaks, he thought long and hard about the rift between him and Callen as well as everything that had happened, trying to come to terms with it and decide what he was going to do about it and the team. It wasn't an easy decision to make and he was taking his time over it. He had been sitting there for a while just thinking when he felt the perfect swell forming. Taking off at exactly the right time, he caught an awesome wave and was in his element, laughing with joy as he became one with the wave. Turning around as the wave was almost to the beach, he caught several more waves before he noticed Kensi walking toward his spot in the sand. Grabbing one last wave, he rode it all the way into shore, then picked up his board and walked over to Monty and Kensi.

"Some watchdog you are Monty. You gonna let any pretty girl make off with our stuff?" He grinned at Kensi and gave Monty's ears some attention.

"Hey, Monty knows I'm not just some pretty girl, don't you boy?" Monty gave Marty a dirty look and scooted closer to Kensi for some attention. Kensi just laughed "See, I'm his favorite."

Marty looked at Monty and said "Traitor, you're supposed to be man's best friend. I guess I can't blame you though, she is hot, isn't she?" he said with a smirk. "You ready for your lesson?"

"No, I just wanted to come and watch you surf and play with Monty here for a while." They spent the morning together lounging around on the beach. Marty could tell something was on Kensi's mind, but didn't push her to tell him. He figured she would say something when she was ready. They had thrown the frisbee for Monty until he tired of the game and flopped down on the sand and went to sleep. They were laying on the blanket basking in the sun and listening to the sound of the ocean when Marty heard a growl come from Kensi's stomach. "Sounds like someone's hungry again," he laughed. "Do you want to get some lunch at this little taco stand I know of a couple of blocks from here?"

"Sounds good, I'm starving."

"Let's go then. Come on Monty." They packed everything up and put it in his car before walking to the taco stand with Monty in tow. It had an outdoor eating area so Monty was able to stay with them while they ate. Once they were finished they walked back to the cars. "What are you doing the rest of the day?" he asked Kensi.

"Nell and I are getting mani-pedis this afternoon. It's going to be a girl's night since we're also going to get dinner together."

"Enjoy your afternoon and tell Nell I said hi and I'll see her on Monday when I'm back at work. I'm going to take wonder dog home and take a nap. After spending all morning at the beach, I'm a little tired." He walked her over to her car and opened the door for her. As he was turning to go to his car, Kensi stopped him.

"Deeks, can I…um…can I bring dinner over tomorrow night? I have some things I need to talk to you about." Kensi was anxious about talking to Deeks but she needed to apologize to him for not showing him how much she appreciated him and for the mean-spirited teasing she had engaged in as well as other things she had been a part of before he had ended up in the hospital. They had talked about a lot of things, but she hadn't really apologized to him yet and it was eating at her.

"Sure Kens. I'll see you tomorrow. It's nothing bad is it?" he asked. With as insecure as he had been feeling he was worried that she didn't want to be his partner any more.

"No, it's nothing bad, just some things I should have told you a long time ago, I promise. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." Deeks smiled at her and walked to his car and watched her drive away. _"She said it was nothing bad, so don't get yourself worked up over what she wants to talk about,"_ he thought to himself as he loaded Monty up and went home.

~,~,~

Marty spent Sunday trying not to worry about what Kensi wanted to talk about. He was so full of nervous energy he had cleaned his apartment from top to bottom, done all of his laundry, and even bathed Monty. He then tried to read, but couldn't seem to absorb any of the words he was looking at so gave it up as a lost cause. _"What does she want to talk about anyway? Has something changed at work? Am I not going to be the liaison any more? I know I've been thinking about going back to the LAPD but if I do, I want it to be on my terms. Wait…get a grip, she said she had some things she needed to talk to me about, so its about her not me. I just have to be patient and let her tell me...why isn't she here yet?"_ Marty kept trying to figure out what Kensi felt she had to say to him.

Kensi arrived at Marty's door with take-out from Yummy Yummy Heart Attack and a six-pack of beer. He had the door open before she could even knock since he had seen her arrive. "Come on in." He ushered her inside and closed the door before running his hands through his hair. "You want me to get some forks?" he asked.

"No, they provided sparks as usual. I got your favorites including the Drunkin' Pigs. Let's eat before it gets cold. The smell in the car had me almost drooling on the drive over."

"Classy Blye…classy," he snickered.

She stuck her tongue out at him before pulling out the cartons of takeout and setting them on his coffee table along with the beers. They each grabbed their favorite and began eating. Marty grabbed and opened a couple of the beers and handed one to Kensi then dug in again. All that could be heard for a while was the sound of chewing and moans of pleasure coming from Kensi. She was always vocal when she was eating something she really liked and it always made Marty chuckle.

Once they were done, they cleaned up the empty cartons and each grabbed another beer. As they were savoring their beers, Marty could tell that Kensi was nervous about what she had to say, so he nudged her shoulder "Just tell me what has you so nervous Kens. Did I do something to upset you?"

His question startled Kensi and the words started pouring out of her like a dam bursting. "What…no, you didn't do anything to upset me! I'm the one whose done things I'm ashamed of. I've been mean to you and I constantly tease you and put you down, even when I know I shouldn't. I've sided with Sam and Callen when they've said hurtful things to you. And you, you just let it go like it doesn't bother you. But I can see the hurt in your eyes sometimes and it's all my fault. I don't know why you put up with me. I'm not a very nice person, and I've been a lousy partner."

"Kens…"

"Let me finish, please Deeks," she pleaded. "You always have my back. You keep junk food stocked in your desk just for me. You know when I'm pretending to be fine and you call me on my bullshit. You take care of me and I take you for granted. It's wrong and I'm sorry, so sorry. I'm trying to do better, really I am. You're the best partner I could ever have and I don't want to lose you." She took a deep breath and then continued, "When I checked on you and found you so sick, I was scared to death. I couldn't breath and what Hetty had said earlier reminded me of all the times when I haven't been a friend to you, or supported you like I should have. All I could think was that you were going to die without ever knowing how much I appreciate you and how much you mean to me."

Marty felt like he was taking his life in his hands when he put two fingers over Kensi's lips. "It's okay Kens…it's okay. Breathe, just breathe. I'm not dying. I'm right here. What did Hetty say to you that has you so worked up?" He was looking at her with such intensity, almost as if he could see into her soul. It made Kensi shiver, but in a way it also helped her to calm down.

"Hetty…she asked me why…why I was surprised you hadn't told me you were so sick. She said it was probably because I teased you whenever you told me anything personal. She said…she had heard me call you 'a big baby' and tell you to quit whining, and wanted to know why I was concerned about you all of a sudden. Don't you see? She's right, I'm always teasing you and saying mean things to you." Kensi had tears in her eyes but she kept talking. "I always have to be right. We always have to do things my way; I drive, I choose the radio station we listen to; I decide where we're going to eat. I always have to show you that I'm better than you…even when I'm not. I'm always going on about how much training I have and putting you down because you're a cop. How can you stand to look at me let alone work with me? I'm a lousy partner and a worse friend."

Marty didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he was gratified she realized that some of the things she did and said had been hurtful; but he hated to see her so upset. _"God, why does this woman confuse me so much! She is so amazing one moment and then she's like a little girl looking for daddy's approval. I'm never completely sure where I stand with her, but I can't think of anyone who would be a better partner than her. She makes me a better person and gives me hope for the future even when she is frustrating the hell out of me! What does that say about our partnership?"_

He looked deeply into her eyes and could tell she was afraid of what he was going to say. Before she decided to get up and run, he grabbed her hands, "Kensi, I can't say the things you've said and done have never hurt me or made me feel like an outsider. It wouldn't be true and it wouldn't be fair to you. But you've been there for me whenever I really needed you. I trust you to have my back in the field and that's something I never really had at the LAPD. I know how hard it is for you to open up to someone but I want you to know you can tell me anything and I won't judge you. It means more to me than I can say that you were with me in the hospital the entire time I was there. I accept your apology. I'm not saying that I've forgiven you completely yet or that I've forgotten all the times I've felt like an outsider. It's going to take time for me to work through everything that has happened and get past it. I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't. But I'm willing to work on our partnership if you are."

Kensi had been afraid of what he would say so it took a moment for her brain to process his words. As soon as the meaning registered, she gasped "Yes, I want to work on our partnership, Deeks. I want to show you I can be a good partner. I want the chance to make up for all the times I've let you down and been mean to you. I want to prove to you that I do appreciate you."

"Then I'm good if your good. Are you good?"

"I'm good" she replied.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about cause if you do, I'm gonna grab another beer. Want one?"

"I'll take another one. I did have a couple more things I wanted to talk about."

"Okay, shoot."

"How do you really feel about coming back to work tomorrow? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I know Callen is really anxious about seeing you. He's been feeling really guilty about what he said to you before you got sick. I know him and even though he hasn't said much I can tell it's been eating at him. When you were in the hospital, he admitted to me that he hadn't been much of a team leader to you. He feels like he failed you," she informed him.

"Callen and I still have issues to resolve. I guess we'll have our talk when I get back to work. To tell you the truth, I'm not really looking forward to it, but I know it has to happen. I don't know what the outcome is going to be."

Kensi hesitated before continuing "Can I give you some advice?"

"What kind of advice? Don't tell me to just let it all go because I can't do that any more. I can't continue to work with the team if I'm considered the outsider or I'm not trusted. It's not fair to any of us and could be dangerous during a case." Marty wasn't willing to let things go back to the way they had been. Something had to change or he would have to leave.

Kensi looked deep into his eyes and continued. "No, I'm not telling you to let it go. What I'm saying is that Callen has a hard time expressing himself when it comes to any type of feelings. He doesn't have any experience being part of a family or expressing his feelings except with Sam. Even then, he has a hard time with them. He tries to bottle them up because they confuse and frighten him. All I'm saying is try to be patient with him when he finally talks to you. I can guarantee you he will have trouble expressing himself. Will you try to give him time to get all of his thoughts out before you react to what he says?"

Marty thought it over before replying "I think I can do that. So you're saying to listen as much to what he isn't saying as to what he actually says and how he says it, right?"

"Right, partner" Kensi was relieved that he took to heart what she had said. She nudged him with her shoulder and smiled at him. He nudged her right back then asked "So what cheesy show do you want to watch with me, Fern?"

"Anything Deeks, anything."

~,~,~


	22. Chapter 22: Epilog

Well, we've come to the end of another story. I think anyone who has read my stories knows that Deeks is my favorite character. ECO does an amazing job bringing Marty to life which makes it easy to write about him.

I still don't own NCIS LA. I just brought the characters out to play and as you can tell, I've returned them in much the same condition they were in when I started this story.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and comment on this story. For those people who left guest reviews, I'm sorry I can't reply to you personally, but I appreciate everything you've written.

Enjoy.

~,~,~

Marty had trouble sleeping Sunday night. His mind kept going over the upcoming conversation with Callen. On the one hand, Marty was looking forward to clearing the area with Callen while on the other hand, he was worried about what the outcome would be. After tossing and turning most of the night, he rose with the sun and decided to go surfing.

As usual, being on the ocean brought him a sense of calm. Sitting on his board feeling the swells and listening to the birds call to each other helped him clear his head and helped him get his thoughts in order. Just being able to surf again did wonders for his disposition. By the time he had to leave for home to get ready for work, he was feeing much better about not only himself but what the day would bring.

~,~,~

Callen was waiting impatiently for Deeks to arrive in OSP Monday morning. He had been thinking about everything that had happened between the two of them not only right before Deeks fell ill but since he had first come on board as the LAPD liaison. Many of the things he remembered brought a sense of shame to him as he finally realized he had always treated Deeks as somewhat of an outsider. It had taken him a long time to trust the man as Kensi's partner and he had never passed up an opportunity to let him know he was just a cop. He could truthfully tell himself that most of the time he and Sam were only teasing, but having heard some of what Deeks went through as a child while he stayed with him in the hospital and by talking with Sam, he wondered just how much their teasing had hurt Deeks even though he never let on that it got to him.

Callen desperately wanted to make sure that Deeks wasn't going to quit and go back to the LAPD. It was the one thing that he hadn't yet talked to him about. His conversations with Deeks while he had been in the hospital and recuperating at home had been awkward at best. They had got to know each other a little better and he felt they had resolved some issues but they still hadn't talked about the incident just before Deeks fell ill. They also hadn't talked about how Deeks thought the team saw him. Callen was going to make sure that Deeks knew he was a vital part of their team even though they hadn't been very good at letting him know so earlier. Callen was determined to convince him to stay with NCIS no matter what it took to do so.

Deeks' decision on whether or not to leave was still hanging over everyone's head. The longer it took to resolve the situation the harder it was going to be to convince him to stay on the team as the liaison officer.

Callen looked up and checked the time when Deeks walked into the Mission. He was glad that Deeks had arrived an hour earlier than usual. It would give them time to talk before anyone else arrived. Callen met him in the bullpen and motioned for him to follow him into the gym. It was to his credit that Deeks just put down his bag and followed him. It was early enough that there was no one in the gym to overhear them either. It was almost like they were the only two people in the Mission. Callen turned to him as soon as the door closed and began "Deeks, I have some things I need to talk to you about and I just want you to listen, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Deeks looked at him with trepidation, but then remembering what Kensi had told him the night before and trying to do as she had asked, he nodded his head and kept silent.

"I want to talk about our last case together but I don't want us to start yelling at each other again. It's difficult for me to express myself sometimes and I don't want you to misunderstand me. I shouldn't have yelled at you but…it scared me when I saw you tackle that guy and heard the gun go off. I thought you had been injured. Like I said, I'm not good at expressing my feelings so I reacted with anger when I should have thanked you…"

"Callen, its…"

"No Deeks, let me finish first, please." Callen interrupted.

Looking at Callen, Deeks could tell that he was struggling with what he wanted to say. He didn't think he needed to hear it, but since it clearly was important to Callen to say it, he acknowledged him "Okay, continue. I'm sorry for interrupting."

"Thanks. I just have to get it straight in my head first so that I say it right. The last time I tried to talk to you, everything came out all wrong and all I ended up doing was to piss you off. I don't want to do that this time. Anyway," he heaved a huge sigh, "what I want to say is thank you for saving my life. If you hadn't tackled that guy I would be dead. You did the right thing. I was wrong, and I shouldn't have said you were being reckless." Callen sighed again as he finally got the words he wanted out.

"Are you trying to say you're sorry Callen?

"Yes, I guess I am. I should have said it a long time ago.""

You know, I've had a lot of time to think about things these last few weeks and I realize we were all exhausted and frustrated by the time we caught that last case. I think we were all at the end of our ropes, so to speak, by the time the meet in the warehouse went down. I was sick by then too which didn't help either.

"I'm not saying that I'm past all the insults and putdowns that you, Sam and Kensi have dished out ever since I came on board, but I'm working on it. It's just going to have to take me some time to come to terms with it. If your all serious about trying harder then I'll try harder too. So, I accept your apology."

Deeks had decided while recuperating at home that if he wanted to be part of the team, he was going to have to give them time to come to terms with the ways they had been treating him. They deserved a chance to prove to him they really did want him with them. If he didn't allow them that chance, he might be throwing away something he had hoped for his entire life; a family that he cared about and that cared about him. It was worth the gamble to him. It was still going to take time for the hurt feelings he had endured when they teased him or excluded him to fade away and for his self-esteem and self-confidence to return to their normal levels, but he could finally admit to himself that it could happen. In fact he was looking forward to it.

"I'm ready to come back to work so I'm good if you're good."

"I'm good." Callen replied. He wasn't sure if he should, but he went ahead anyway and continued "Does this mean you're not quitting and going back to the LAPD? I don't want to lose you. You make the team better. You always have. I haven't been a very good team leader when it comes to you. I should have let you know it as well. I plan on doing a much better job of it in the future."

"What…wait...how…how did you know I was thinking about quitting? I didn't tell anyone I was thinking about it." Deeks was surprised anyone knew that. He hadn't told a soul, not even Kensi. She had said something while he was in the hospital about not wanting him to leave her and go back to the LAPD, but he had thought at the time it was just her own insecurities showing. _"Did she know I was thinking about quitting too? Is that why she's been so nice to me? Has it all been an act on her part to keep me at NCIS? Is that why they've all been so nice to me?"_ he wondered.

Hearing what Callen was saying caused all of his doubts to begin resurfacing because his confidence had taken quite a beating and he was still unsure of his place on the team. He tried to tell himself that it would take time for him to become comfortable again and to not let his old insecurities ruin everything. "Who told you I was thinking of quitting?"

"Hetty read all of us the riot act when you didn't call in the morning you were admitted to the hospital. We were all scared she was going to get her letter opener out and use it on us." Callen tried to interject a little humor into the situation.

"She told us that morning you were thinking of quitting and that we only had ourselves to blame because of the way we'd been treating you. It made me, and I'm sure Sam and Kensi as well, take a good look at ourselves and how we've treated you. I know I was ashamed of myself. I guess Hetty knew what you were thinking somehow. You know that little Ninja, she seems to be psychic at times." Callen continued giving Deeks additional details about everything Hetty had told them then finished with, "I promise I'll try harder to show you that you are a valuable member of this team. All of us will. I never meant to make you doubt yourself or your position with us. As team leader I should have been looking out for you."

Deeks was deep in thought after Callen finished talking. He remembered whispering to himself something about just quitting and going back to the LAPD as he was walking away from Callen the day he blew up in the bullpen. It was the day before he was admitted to the hospital. Maybe Hetty had overheard him then. It made him feel better hearing everything Callen had said and he decided to give Kensi; hell, all of them, the benefit of the doubt too and just appreciate the fact they were all trying harder to make him feel wanted and a part of the team. It was something he had never had before and it felt good to have now. He was beginning to think of NCIS as a home and Callen and the rest of them as family. He knew it was going to take time to mend the cracks that had been formed within the team during their last case and before he felt sure of his place on the team again. There were still a lot of feelings he had to work through and trust that had to be rebuilt. However, he wanted to trust his team and he wanted to be part of their dysfunctional little family. He thought to himself _"If I really want to be part of this team and crazy family, I'm going to have to meet them at least halfway. I only hope that I'm not making a mistake."_

"Earth to Deeks…are you still with me?" Callen was getting worried the longer Deeks remained silent. He thought he had pissed the younger man off again.

"What…oh, sorry. What you said just got me thinking about a lot of things."

"And…" Callen encouraged him to keep talking.

"I'm not quitting and going back to the LAPD. At least not right now.

"That's good to hear." Callen felt 50 pounds lighter hearing those word from Deeks. "I'm glad you're staying and I'm not the only one."

"Well I wouldn't be able to surf every morning if I went back to the LADP. And I'd miss you guys too much…well probably not you or Sam…I'd mostly miss Kensi...since she's my partner...and because she's smoking hot…wait…don't tell her I said that…she'll punch me and I'm still recovering" he replied with a twinkle in his eyes and a cheeky grin.

Callen just laughed and grabbed him by the neck and gave him a rough hug. They walked out of the gym together and began their day…still members of Hetty's premier team.

~,~,~

Hetty smiled as she sipped her tea and then shut down the feed she had been watching. It was good to know Callen had stepped up to ensure Mr. Deeks stayed exactly where he was; where he was wanted and needed. She would be keeping an eye on all of them to make sure nothing else happened to threaten the dynamics of her premier team. If she had to, she would intervene again to make sure things continued to run smoothly She could tell Marty still had a lot of doubts, but the fact he was willing to try eased her mind greatly. She had gone to great lengths to get him into NCIS and she wasn't about to let him slip through her fingers. While she was highly protective of all of her agents, Sam, Callen, Kensi and Marty as well as her favorite tech team, Nell and Eric, were special to her and she would move heaven and hell to keep them together as a 'family'.

~,~,~

FINI

I hope I did this story justice. I had fun writing it and I hope you enjoyed it. I wanted to end the story with Deeks still having doubts about completely forgiving the team and trusting them, but with him working on it. I didn't think it would be believable for him to completely forgive them in the amount of time this story covered.

Until the next story…bye.

Raderle


End file.
